October 22, 2019

MORTGAGE STUFF

Volume 19, Issue 8



C-Loans Client Newsletter

You are receiving this letter because you are a commercial mortgage broker client of either Blackburne & Sons or C-Loans, Inc. Removal instructions are below. Today we’ll discuss the USDA’s commercial loan program, the Business and Industries Loan. We also have lots of cute, clean jokes, some funny pics, and a funny video about how not to leave a car wash.

Joke Du Jour

One day my home phone rang. It was a salesman from a mortgage refinance company. "Do you have a second mortgage on your home?” "No," I replied. "Would you like to consolidate all your debts?” he asked. "I really don't have any," I said. "How about freeing up cash for home improvements?" he tried. "I don't need any. I just recently had some done and paid cash," I parried. There was a brief silence, and then he asked, "Are you looking for a husband?"

Dimes Joke

Little Mary talking to Little Johnny: "I found twenty cents on the sidewalk."

Little Johnny: "That's mine. I dropped a twenty-cent coin there this morning."

Little Mary: "But what I found was two ten-cent coins!"

Little Johnny: "That's it. I heard it break when it hit the ground.”

Fetal Movement Joke

Q;  When will my baby move?

A:  With any luck, right after he finishes high school.

Got a Slightly Flawed Commercial Loan? Call Blackburne & Sons

Click HERE to Apply Now!

Blackburne & Sons continues to seek first mortgages between $100,000 to $2 million on standing commercial properties nationwide. We particularly like Gentlemen’s Clubs. One unusual loan product that we offer is our blanket loan against a portfolio of rental homes. We will also hypothecate notes and buy commercial loans at a discount. We also make non-owner-occupied, business purpose, residential loans in many states. Please be sure to bookmark our commercial mortgage rate sheet right now.

Call or email your favorite loan representative to email:



Face Cream Joke

Q:  What kind of face cream do matadors use? 

A:  Olay!

How C-Loans Actually Works

Think of C-Loans.com as a giant filter. We start with 750 participating commercial lenders. Every time you enter more information into the application - loan amount, property type, loan type, state, credit - dozens of lenders are filtered out. Upon completion, you are left with a list of 20 to 30 perfect lenders. You put a check mark next to six lenders at a time and press submit. Soon you are receiving quotes and offers. No good offers? Come back and submit to six more lenders, then six more, and so on. And C-Loans.com is free!

Misspelling Joke

Q:  What word is always spelled wrong in the Dictionary? 

A:  Wrong.

Business Purpose Rental Home Loans in Most States

Click HERE to Apply Now!

Please pay special attention to the following: Unlike other hard money brokers, Blackburne & Sons Realty Capital Corporation makes home loans with a 15-year term (30-year amortization), and there is NO prepayment penalty. Our competitors make just three-year or five-year bridge loans. Our loans are clearly better because you may want to hold the property. These loans are sometimes known as buy-to-rent loans.

Historically, Blackburne & Sons was mostly a commercial lender. This has now changed. We are aggressively aggressively seeking non-owner occupied home loans. We have already closed loans in the following states, and our attorney can quickly research your state to verify that we can lend there. Unfortunately, in a handful of states, an NMLS license is not enough.

What about YOUR state? If you have a real-life deal, we’ll hire our attorney to quickly research its availability.

The property has to be non-owner occupied, and the purpose of the loan must be for business. Remember, the nice thing about business purpose home loans from Blackburne & Sons is that our loans have a 30-year amortization, a 15-year term, and no prepayment penalty.

Call or click on your favorite loan representative to email:

Crocodile Island Joke

"Indonesia's anti-drug chief is proposing that the country put narcotics offenders in a jail on an island surrounded by crocodiles. The plan is to send the inmates food supplies every day but they will have to survive on their own. This already sounds like a reality TV show I would totally watch.” — James Corden 

Vegetables? Yuck!

Think about it... Even Popeye didn't eat his spinach until he absolutely had to.

Get Both Courses For Just $849

Save $249

Engagement Ring Joke

Michelle:  "I hear you broke off your engagement to Rob.  Why?"

Irina:  "It's just that my feelings toward him weren't the same any more."

Michelle:  "Are you returning the ring?"

Irina:  "No way!  My feelings toward the ring haven't changed.”

- Today's Training Lesson -

The USDA's Commercial Loan Program

Many of the poorest Americans live in rural areas. In order to foster the growth of higher-paying jobs in rural areas, the USDA has developed a commercial loan program that is similar to the successful SBA loan program. It is called the Business and Industries (“B&I”) Loan Program.

In most cases, a borrower who qualifies for an SBA loan will also qualify for a USDA loan, as long as the population in the surrounding 25 miles is relatively low. But why apply for a USDA loan? Why not just apply for an SBA loan?

• Few SBA lenders are enthusiastic about making large loans in very rural areas.  Remember, only a portion of an SBA loan is guaranteed by the Federal government.  SBA lenders still have a piece of their own tushes exposed and at risk on every deal.  Loans in Bum Flowers, Egypt are not terribly appealing to most banks and SBA lenders.
• The maximum loan amount for a USDA loan is a whopping $25 million, and this loan amount can sometimes even be increased. The maximum loan amount for an SBA 7a loan (the 25-year adjustable loan) is just $5 million. The maximum loan amount on a SBA 504 loan (the fixed rate program) is just $10 million.
• USDA lenders are actually comfortable making these larger loans, and a single lender makes the entire loan. There is no need to bring in community development corporations and conventional lenders to make the underlying first mortgage. Anyone who has ever gotten an SBA 504 loan can testify that the process can be buggy, slow, and maddening.
• USDA loans do NOT have to be owner-occupied! Suppose an investor wants to renovate an old, vacant industrial property in the Boonies and lease it to a manufacturing company willing to move to a rural area. The USDA will guaranty such a loan, even though the loan is arguably a subsidy to the wealthy investor.
• Can you imagine the financial benefits of using a USDA loan in an opportunity zone???
• USDA loans enjoy a 30-year amortization, rather than just 25 years.
• The USDA will guaranty 15-year loans on equipment, rather than just 7-years on SBA loans. This greatly frees up cash flow.
• Individual investors, rather than just companies, can qualify for a USDA-guaranteed B&I loan.
• The borrower does NOT need to be a for-profit entity. Non-profit entities are also eligible.

Just click here to apply for a USDA Business and Industries loan.

Time Machine Joke

When I was a little boy, a strange man stepped out of a time machine and punched me for no reason.  Now at last I've managed to build a time machine of my own, I'm going back to when he was a little boy, so I can punch him and see how he likes it.

How To Generate Commercial Leads Like Turning On a Spigot

I just completed updating in 2019 my popular video course, “How to Market for Commercial Loans.” I have been marketing for commercial loans for almost 40 years. I have wasted well over $175,000 on marketing campaigns that were complete busts. Direct mail. Postcards. Classified ads. Magazine ads. Google ads. Complete busts. Here is what works.

Mole Joke

Q:  How do you stop moles from digging in your garden?

A:  Hide the spade. 

Have You Been Screwed Out of a Big Loan Fee Yet?

Whenever someone boasts of being a good horseman, I always ask him, “Have you ever been thrown?” The correct answer is, “Many, many times”. There is an old saying, “If you ain’t been thrown, you ain't ridden very much.” The same is unfortunately true of commercial mortgage brokerage. You will screwed out of a loan fee of $10,000 or more at least twice per year for your entire career. Now I am NOT talking about the borrower closing the loan and not paying you. That rarely happens. What these dastardly borrowers do is lie to you or cancel on you. You would be a flipping idiot not to pay a lousy $199 for my ninety-minute video training course, Fee Collection For Commercial Mortgage Brokers. It includes my famous fee agreement. Go ahead and ignore this section. You will cry, I absolutely guarantee you.

Now available online!

Janitor Joke

Q:  What did the school janitor say when he jumped out of the closet? 

A:  Supplies!

Wedding Joke

At the wedding reception someone yelled, "Would all the married men please stand next to the one person who has made their life worth living."  The bartender was almost crushed to death. 

Pin Hole Joke

Putting a pin through all of my best friend’s condoms seemed like a good idea at the time.  It backfired, though, when I found out my wife is pregnant.

Still Can’t Find the Right Commercial Lender?

Try CommercialMortgage.com. This free commercial mortgage portal has almost 4,000 commercial lenders in its databank. None of these commercial lenders appear on C-Loans.

Bear Joke

A bear walks into a bar and says, "Give me a whiskey and...(pause)...... cola.” "Why the big pause?" asks the bartender. 

The bear shrugged, looking in his lap, "I'm not sure. I was born with them.”

How To Earn Huge Referral Fees

Please click here after viewing the video.

Shampoo Joke

I always used my shampoo to wash the rest of my body while in the shower.  It was just easier to lather up my hair and use the extra suds on my body instead of soap.  Then I saw the words printed on my shampoo bottle "for extra volume and fullness."  No wonder why I can't lose weight!  Now I'm using my dish soap in the shower.  It's guaranteed to remove fat and other unwanted deposits that other soaps leave behind!

Video - How NOT to Leave a Car Wash

Get Four Free Training Courses

Are you desperate to learn commercial real estate finance, but you’re as poor as a church mouse? Get four training courses for free.

Final Funny

"Archaeologists believe they have found the tomb of St. Nicholas beneath an ancient church in Turkey. St. Nicholas, of course, is the basis for the legend of Santa Claus. And they think they found him. Which means now, when my son asks me if Santa is real, I can confidently say, 'Yes! He’s dead though. That's why you didn't get that bike.’” -- James Corden 

NMLS #167100

CA DRE #1330173

4811 Chippendale Drive, Suite 101

Sacramento, CA 95841

P: (916) 338-3232

F: (916) 338-2328

NMLS #103430

CA DRE #829677