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April 20, 2019


Volume 19, Issue 3

C-Loans Client Newsletter

You are receiving this letter because you are a commercial mortgage broker client of either Blackburne & Sons or C-Loans, Inc. Removal instructions are below. Today we’ll discuss the meaning of airballs and being exited. We also have lots of cute, clean jokes, some funny pics, and a short, scary video of a pretty young woman throwing an axe. It doesn't go well.


Joke Du Jour

One of our patients wasn't taking any chances. Prior to her operation, she taped notes to her body for the surgeon... "Take your time," "Don't cut yourself," "No need to rush," "Wash your hands…" After surgery, as I helped the patient back into her bed, we discovered a new note taped to her, this one from the doctor, "Has anyone seen my wristwatch?”


Free Commercial Loan Placement Kit

Your free commercial loan placement kit contains a list of of 200 commercial lenders, a Commercial Loan Checklist, a superb white paper on where to find commercial lenders when the market is tight, and a short video lesson explaining mezzanine loans and preferred equity. 


Camping in Florida


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It’s free training in commercial mortgage brokerage. And because it's old man Blackburne writing, you just know this blog is funny.

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Ticket Picture Joke

A motorist was mailed a picture of his car speeding through an automated radar. A $40 speeding ticket was included. Being cute, he sent the police department a picture of $40. The police responded with another mailed photo -- of handcuffs.


How C-Loans Actually Works

Think of C-Loans.com as a giant filter. We start with 750 participating commercial lenders. Every time you enter more information into the application - loan amount, property type, loan type, state, credit - dozens of lenders are filtered out. Upon completion, you are left with a list of 20 to 30 perfect lenders. You put a check mark next to six lenders at a time and press submit. Soon you are receiving quotes and offers. No good offers? Come back and submit to six more lenders, then six more, and so on. And C-Loans.com is free!

C-Loans Intro

Worry Joke

Jack had been a compulsive worrier for years, to the point it was ruining his life. He saw a psychologist, who recommended a specialist who could help him. His friend, Bob, noticed a dramatic change and asked "What happened? Nothing seems to worry you anymore."

"I hired a professional worrier, and I haven't had a worry since," replied Jack. "That must be expensive," Bob replied. "He charges $5,000 a month," Jack told him. “$5,000?!! How in the world can you afford to pay him?" exclaimed Bob. "I don't know,” Jack replied. "That's his problem.”


Place Your Loan With C-Loans

Using C-Loans.com you can actually submit your commercial loan to 750 commercial lenders, six lenders at a time. Our other portal, CommercialMortgage.com (“CMDC”), is a little faster and easier. CMDC also lists over 3,000 commercial real estate lenders, far more than C-Loans; however, CommercialMortgage.com only produces a list of suitable lenders. Then you have to actually contact each one and submit your deal. Both C-Loans.com and CMDC are free!




Got a Slightly Flawed Commercial Loan? Call Blackburne & Sons

Apply Now! Blackburne & Sons continues to seek first mortgages between $100,000 to $2 million on standing commercial properties nationwide. We particularly like Gentlemen’s Clubs. One unusual loan product that we offer is our blanket loan against a portfolio of rental homes. We will also hypothecate notes and buy commercial loans at a discount. We also make non-owner-occupied, business purpose, residential loans in many states. Please be sure to bookmark our commercial mortgage rate sheet right now.

Call or email your favorite loan representative:

(916) 338-3232


Airport Joke

While waiting in line at a busy airport check-in counter, I noticed a set of rambunctious little boys in front of me. As the line inched along, their mother tried in vain to get them to calm down. Finally she reached the counter, where the ticket agent asked her, "Have any of the items you plan to take with you on this flight been out of your immediate control since your arrival at the airport?” The young mother replied honestly, "The luggage, no; the children, yes.”


More Good Stuff About CommercialMortgage.com

The key to closing commercial loans is two-fold: (1) Submit your commercial loan to bank after after bank until you find a hungry one; and (2) submit your commercial loan to a bank located close to the subject property. 

We have a standing trade offer where we will trade a copy of my famous 9-hour video training course, How to Broker Commercial Loans ($549), for a list of 20 commercial real estate loan officers working for banks and credit unions. As a result, the list of commercial lenders on CommercialMortgage.com is constantly growing.


Normal People Joke

"The only normal people are the ones you don't know very well.” -- Joe Ancis 


Business Purpose Rental Home Loans in Twenty States

Apply Now! Please pay special attention to the following: Unlike other hard money brokers, Blackburne & Sons Realty Capital Corporation makes home loans with a 15-year term (30-year amortization), and there is NO prepayment penalty. Our competitors make just three-year or five-year bridge loans. Our loans are clearly better because you may want to hold the property. These loans are sometimes known as buy-to-rent loans.

Historically, Blackburne & Sons was mostly a commercial lender. This has now changed. We are aggressively aggressively seeking non-owner occupied home loans. We have already closed loans in the following states, and our attorney can quickly research your state to verify that we can lend there. Unfortunately, in a handful of states, an NMLS license is not enough; but we can definitely lend in the following states:

  • New Jersey
  • Missouri
  • Maryland
  • Alaska
  • Ohio
  • Florida
  • New York
  • California
  • Washington
  • Arizona
  • Texas
  • Hawaii
  • Virginia
  • Delaware
  • Indiana
  • Louisiana
  • Hawaii
  • North Carolina
  • Georgia
  • Pennsylvania
  • Michigan

Unfortunately the following states are out:

  • Nevada
  • Minnesota
  • Idaho
  • Oregon
  • South Dakota
  • Vermont
  • North Dakota
  • Utah

What about YOUR state? If you have a real-life deal, we’ll hire our attorney to quickly research its availability.

The property has to be non-owner occupied, and the purpose of the loan must be for business. Remember, the nice thing about business purpose home loans from Blackburne & Sons is that our loans have a 30-year amortization, a 15-year term, and no prepayment penalty.

Call or email your favorite loan representative:

(916) 338-3232


Youth Joke

"As for me, except for an occasional heart attack, I feel as young as I ever did.” -- Robert Benchley


Learn Commercial Real Estate Finance - 9 Hour Video Training

It would be a lot easier to close your commercial deals if you actually knew the subject matter. Are you finally ready to learn the financial ratios and the advanced terminology of commercial real estate finance? Just $549.


Work Joke

"I like work. It fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours. -- Jerome K. Jerome, "Three Men in a Boat," 1889


Become a Hard Money Lender

One reason why hard money brokers make ten times more money than desk-and-a-phone mortgage brokers is that they approve their own deals!! Four-hour video course, How To Find Your Own Private Mortgage Investors. Just $549.


Sportsmanship Joke

I was helping out with a tennis camp for little kids. At the beginning, the tennis pro running the event was talking about good sportsmanship. He asked "Can anyone tell me what a good sport is?” This cute little 5-year-old raised his hand and suggested, “Baseball?"


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Airballs and Exiting in Commercial Finance

You may be surprised to learn that the SBA will guarantee commercial loans that are not secured by commercial real estate. An SBA lender recently told me about such a deal. “I am doing an SBA loan right now where no real estate is involved. It is a $1.5 million purchase of a service business. The business leases space from an unrelated third party, so there is no real estate collateral."

"The buyer is putting down 20%, and we are financing the rest with a SBA guaranty. The lender is required by the SBA to try and get to a 1:1 collateral position. Business assets are heavily discounted by the SBA, so typically we have to take a second mortgage on a house, IF there is equity. Some banks will do these loans with up to a $1 million to $1.5 million airball, meaning a collateral shortfall. It depends on the bank's risk appetite."

He told me about another common example of the SBA guarantying a loan where no commercial real estate is involved. "Joe Business Owner is being exited (i.e. kicked out) of a big bank for a covenant violation. A covenant is a contractual promise (in a loan agreement), like a borrower promising to pay off his line of credit and maintaining a zero balance for at least 30 days per year. Joe Business Owner needs to refinance his $1 million line of credit. He can get a SBA term loan with a 10-year amortization, if he qualifies."

You can submit your SBA loan to 218 different SBA lenders here. You can read more here. And be sure to subscribe to my blog, where I share one or two commercial real estate finance lessons like the one above every week.


Highlighter Joke

"I had the worst study habits in the history of college, until I found out what I was doing wrong -- highlighting with a black magic marker." -- Jeff Altman


How To Generate Commercial Leads Like Turning On a Spigot

I just completed updating in 2019 my popular video course, “How to Market for Commercial Loans.” I have been marketing for commercial loans for almost 40 years. I have wasted well over $175,000 on marketing campaigns that were complete busts. Direct mail. Postcards. Classified ads. Magazine ads. Google ads. Complete busts. Here is what works.


Have You Been Screwed Out of a Big Loan Fee Yet?

Whenever someone boasts of being a good horseman, I always ask him, “Have you ever been thrown?” The correct answer is, “Many, many times”. There is an old saying, “If you ain’t been thrown, you ain't ridden very much.” The same is unfortunately true of commercial mortgage brokerage. You will screwed out of a loan fee of $10,000 or more at least twice per year for your entire career. Now I am NOT talking about the borrower closing the loan and not paying you. That rarely happens. What these dastardly borrowers do is lie to you or cancel on you. You would be a flipping idiot not to pay a lousy $199 for my ninety-minute video training course, Fee Collection For Commercial Mortgage Brokers. It includes my famous fee agreement. Go ahead and ignore this section. You will cry, I absolutely guarantee you.


Lost Joke

Five year old Little Johnny was lost, so he went up to a policeman and said, "I've lost my dad!" The policeman said, "What's he like?" Little Johnny replied, "Beer and women!”


How To Earn Huge Referral Fees

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The C-Loans Blog: info.c-loans.com

Every week we publish one or two new blog articles that train commercial brokers in commercial real estate finance. We try to have fun with it, including lots of funny pics. If you want access to this FREE training, subscribe to George's blog by clicking the button below. 


Video - Horrible Axe Throwing Incident

Pretty young woman gets impaled.


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Final Funny

I was reading an article last night about fathers and sons, and memories came flooding back of the time I took my son out for his first pint. Off we went to our local pub, which is only two blocks from the house. I got him a Fosters. He didn't like it, so I had it. Then I got him a Carling Black Label. He didn't like it, so I had it. It was the same with the 1664 Lager and Premium Dry Cider. By the time we got down to the Scotch, I could hardly push the stroller back home.


NMLS #167100

CA DRE #1330173


4811 Chippendale Drive, Suite 101

Sacramento, CA 95841

P: (916) 338-3232

F: (916) 338-2328


NMLS #103430

CA DRE #829677