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November 9, 2020


Volume 20: Issue 7

C-Loans Client Newsletter

You are receiving this letter because you are a commercial mortgage broker client of either Blackburne & Sons or C-Loans, Inc. Removal instructions are below. Today we’ll discuss how long it will be before super-accurate Chinese conventional missiles will be raining down on California. We also have lots of cute, clean jokes, some funny pics, and an absolutely amazing encounter between two jackals, a python, and a honey badger.


Joke Du Jour

Me: Please bring me a screwdriver.

Wife: Flathead, Phillips, or Vodka?

And thats when I knew shew was the one!


Free Stuff

Free Loan Placement Kit

Commercial Loan Checklist - Ten techniques that will triple your chances of closing

The Blackburne List - 200 commercial lenders by state with their direct contact info

Whitepaper - How to place a loan when banks are scared to lend

Bonus Training Video - Structured finance including topics like mezzanine loans and preferred equity

Free Expert Training

The C-Loans blog written by an industry veteran and attorney. Subscribe HERE.


Place Your Commercial Loan With C-Loans

C-Loans.com is a true commercial mortgage portal. It allows you to create, in just four minutes, a universal mini-app. You then submit this mini-app to our 750 different commercial lenders.

C-Loans acts like a giant filter that screens out the unsuitable lenders and reduces this huge, unmanageable list of lenders down to a list of just 30 banks, credit unions, and other lenders that are perfect for your deal. You put a checkmark next to six lenders and then press, “Submit.” Within minutes, hungry lenders will be contacting you with offers. And C-Loans is free! 

If you have never checked off six lenders on a list that looks like the image below, then you have never really used C-Loans.com.

C-Loans Intro

Special COVID-19 Notice:  The whole concept of C-Loans.com is that banks are fickle. They pop in and out of the commercial lending market on almost a daily basis. This is especially true during this COVID-19 crisis! We urge you to submit all of your commercial loans through C-Loans and to submit your deal to at least 24 different banks, six per use (just close out and come back in four times). Fortunately we just added several hundred new banks.


Karl Marx Joke

Everyone has heard of the historical figure, Karl Marx… But no one remembers his sister, Onya, who invented the starter’s pistol.


Why You Must Follow C-Loans on Facebook

You are missing important free training. It takes old man Blackburne four to five hours to write one of our popular blog training articles, but he can knock a short training article about commercial mortgage brokerage or commercial real estate finance (CREF) in minutes. In the past two weeks, he has written mini-articles on why banks hate blanket commercial loans, asset-backed securities, family offices, co-living properties, tuck-under parking, the net-worth-to-loan-size ratio, and an unknown, Federal government, mid-market PPP-like loan that can inject $5 million to $300 million into large businesses struggling to survive the coronavirus crisis.

To view these mini-lessons, come to the Facebook page for C-Loans. Look for a tab with three dots, “…”. The first drop-down selection is, “Follow.” Once you follow our Facebook page you will receive one or two free mini-lessons every week.


Training Stuff

Learn Commercial Real Estate Finance (9 hrs)

Topics include:

  • Underwriting
  • Marketing
  • Fee Collection
  • Many More!

$549. Order HERE.

Become a Direct Lender. Learn Loan Servicing (5 hrs)

One reason why hard money brokers make ten times more money than desk-and-phone mortgage brokers is that they approve their own deals!! 

$549. Order HERE.


- Today's Observation -

Should We Start Building Bomb Shelters?

World War I started in 1914, but as early as 1910, it had become clear that Germany and Britain would soon be going to war. Each had embarked on a crash program to build dreadnoughts. Dreadnoughts were massive battle ships that could throw shells for miles. The entire class of ships was named after the H.H.S. Dreadnought, Britain’s first battleship.

China and the United States are on a similar path, and China is constructing warships at a much faster pace. Already China has 350 modern warships, compared to just 293 for the United States. China is hard at work building its third aircraft carrier. Their cruisers are already tougher than our ancient ones. They are building new warships at a pace three times faster than the United States. 

People still think of China as a communist country, but since President Xi appointed himself President for life, China has really become a dictatorship. If their economy ever starts to slow down, and their people start to get restless, President Xi, the leader of 1.35 billion people, could order the invasion of Taiwan. This would rally the people behind him. The outcome of the war will likely be determined by the accuracy of their missiles. Folks, modern missiles are so accurate that they are hitting targets dead-on from over 1,000+ miles away. 

At the Battle of Midway, during World War II, the U.S. sank four of Japan’s aircraft carriers. After that, the outcome of the war in the Pacific was in little doubt. Could the U.S. lose three or four aircraft carriers in the coming Battle of the Taiwan Straights? Yes. Easily. Would the U.S. then back off and let the Chinese take Taiwan, Guam, and Okinawa? I don’t think we could. The war against China needs to be fought in the “second island chain” in the South China China, rather than off the coast of California.

We are mustering allies, as President Xi keeps angering and scaring the whole world. Heaven knows why Xi picked a fight with the Indians over some frozen rocks on their mutual border; but the result has been the addition of Australia to the Quad “Alliance" of India, Japan, and the U.S. Recently, even the pacifist governments of France and Germany have started pushing back on the Chinese. They have sent subs and destroyers to the Indian Ocean.

Who will win the coming war? China. The Chinese will strike first and without warning. They will knock out much of our fleet and all of our airfields on Guam, before the centipede even finishes getting his ankles taped (old joke about the football game between the big animals and the small ones). Then China would likely start island-hopping on its way to California. When their missiles bases and missile ships get close enough, imagine powerful conventional missiles flying through the windows of Google, Microsoft, Intel, Lockheed-Martin, General Dynamics, Northrop Grumman, Raytheon, and Boeing.

What can we do? We need new ship-building facilities on the East Coast, new oil processing plants scattered all across our coasts, and dozens of underground missile manufacturing plants scattered throughout the Heartland. What can you do? A nice home in the Boonies would be smart. Must you simply live in California? How about a wine cellar / bomb shelter in your newly-constructed partial-basement? Remember, these missiles will be both highly-accurate and conventionally-tipped. The whole city is not going to be flattened - just the power plants, the dams, the reservoirs, the water treatment plants, the freeway overpasses, the railway stations, and the major food distribution warehouses. As the Church Lady used to say on Saturday Night Live, “Isn’t that special?”

The moment Elon Musk takes The Boring Company public, I intend to buy some shares. It’s not hard to imagine a missile war that could drag on for a decade, forcing a lot of American companies to move their manufacturing facilities underground.  


Got a Slightly Flawed Commercial Loan? Call Blackburne & Sons

Click HERE to Apply Now!

Blackburne & Sons continues to seek first mortgages between $100,000 to $2 million on standing commercial properties nationwide. We particularly like Gentlemen’s Clubs. One unusual loan product that we offer is our blanket loan against a portfolio of rental homes. We will also hypothecate notes and buy commercial loans at a discount. We also make non-owner-occupied, business purpose, residential loans in many states. Please be sure to bookmark our commercial mortgage rate sheet right now.

Call or click on your favorite loan representative to email:


Possum Joke

Tonight I’m gonna have possum soup made from Himalayan possum… Because I found Himalayan on the road.


Need Leads?

We've Got 'em!

1) C-Loans Lender Vault

2) CommercialMortgage.com

Free Training Courses

Are you desperate to learn commercial real estate finance, but you’re as poor as a church mouse? Get four free training courses.


Business Purpose Rental Home Loans in Most States

Click HERE to Apply Now!

Please pay special attention to the following: Unlike other hard money brokers, Blackburne & Sons Realty Capital Corporation makes home loans with a 15-year term (30-year amortization), and there is NO prepayment penalty. Our competitors make just three-year or five-year bridge loans. Our loans are clearly better because you may want to hold the property. These loans are sometimes known as buy-to-rent loans.

Historically, Blackburne & Sons was mostly a commercial lender. This has now changed. We are aggressively aggressively seeking non-owner occupied home loans. We have already closed loans in the following states, and our attorney can quickly research your state to verify that we can lend there. Unfortunately, in a handful of states, an NMLS license is not enough.

Commercial: NATIONWIDE


  • Alaska
  • Arizona
  • California
  • Delaware
  • Florida
  • Georgia
  • Hawaii
  • Illinoise
  • Indiana
  • Louisiana
  • Maryland
  • Michigan
  • Missouri
  • New Hampshire
  • New Jersey
  • New York
  • North Carolina
  • Ohio
  • Oklahoma
  • Pennsylvania
  • Rhode Island
  • South Carolina
  • Tennessee
  • Texas
  • Virginia
  • Washington
  • West Virginia
  • Wisconsin

What about YOUR state? If you have a real-life deal, we’ll hire our attorney to quickly research its availability.

The property has to be non-owner occupied, and the purpose of the loan must be for business. Remember, the nice thing about business purpose home loans from Blackburne & Sons is that our loans have a 30-year amortization, a 15-year term, and no prepayment penalty.

Call or click on your favorite loan representative to email:


Kay Jewelers Joke

I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Light than Kay. 


More Training Stuff

Marketing Course

I have been marketing for commercial loans for almost 40 years. I have wasted well over $175,000 on marketing campaigns that were busts. Here is what works.

$199. Order HERE.


Learn 100 commercial mortgage finance terms and 15 financial ratios. Learn about debt service coverage ratios, operating expense ratios, construction loans, and more!

$199. Order HERE.

Fee Collection

You would be a flipping idiot not to pay a lousy $199 for my 90 minute video training course, Fee Collection For Commercial Mortgage Brokers. It includes my famous fee agreement.

$199. Order HERE.


How To Earn Huge Referral Fees

Please click here after viewing the video.

Referral Fees

Vladimir Putin Joke

"Vladimir Putin was nominated but did not win the Nobel Peace Prize. Earlier today, he asked, 'Who do I have to kill to win a Nobel Peace Prize?'” — Dave Letterman (It’s obviously a very old joke, but Putin really was nominated again for the Nobel Peace Prize again this year.)



This free commercial mortgage portal has almost 4,000 commercial lenders in its databank. None of these commercial lenders appear on C-Loans.


You can buy for just $79.95 a large list of 2,500 commercial lenders. Once you have The Blackburne List of Commercial Real Estate Lenders nationwide, you can easily make a half-dozen phone calls and place the loan yourself. 


Video - Absolutely Amazing Encounter Caught w/ Funny Commentary


Final Funny

Playing golf with his buddies, my grandfather had to make a slick 25-foot putt. As he lined it up, he announced, "I have a dollar bill that says I can make this putt. Does anyone want to bet?" His three friends eagerly agreed to the wager. My grandfather missed the putt by ten feet, and his friends gathered around to collect their money. Granddad pulled out a dollar bill on which he had written, "I can make this putt." 


NMLS #167100

CA DRE #1330173


4811 Chippendale Drive, Suite 101

Sacramento, CA 95841

P: (916) 338-3232

F: (916) 338-2328


NMLS #103430

CA DRE #829677