August 16, 2019

MORTGAGE STUFF

Volume 19, Issue 6



C-Loans Client Newsletter

You are receiving this letter because you are a commercial mortgage broker client of either Blackburne & Sons or C-Loans, Inc. Removal instructions are below. Today we’ll discuss why your commercial property owners must RUSH to their lenders and refinance right now. It is almost too late. We also have lots of cute, clean jokes, some funny pics, and a cool video of an 400-pound, 100-year-old turtle begging to be petted like a dog. 

Joke Du Jour

The tot had just been put to bed for the umpteenth time, and his mother's patience was wearing thin. "I don't want to hear you call out, ‘Mom’, one more time!" she warned him sternly. After a few minutes of quiet, a small voice came from upstairs, "Mrs. Jones? Can I have a drink of water?”

Devout Cowboy Joke

The devout cowboy lost his favorite Bible while he was mending fences out on the range. Three weeks later, a cow walked up to him carrying the Bible in its mouth. The cowboy couldn't believe his eyes. He took the precious book out of the cow’s mouth, raised his eyes heavenward and exclaimed, "It's a miracle!" "Not really," said the cow, "Your name is written inside the cover.” 

Picture Joke

A soldier serving overseas far from home was annoyed and upset when his girl wrote to break off their engagement and ask for her photograph back. He went out and collected from his friends all the unwanted photographs of women that he could find, bundled them all together, and sent them back with a note saying, “I regret that I cannot remember which one you are. Please keep your photo and return the others.”

How C-Loans Actually Works

Think of C-Loans.com as a giant filter. We start with 750 participating commercial lenders. Every time you enter more information into the application - loan amount, property type, loan type, state, credit - dozens of lenders are filtered out. Upon completion, you are left with a list of 20 to 30 perfect lenders. You put a check mark next to six lenders at a time and press submit. Soon you are receiving quotes and offers. No good offers? Come back and submit to six more lenders, then six more, and so on. And C-Loans.com is free!

Got a Slightly Flawed Commercial Loan? Call Blackburne & Sons

Apply Now! Blackburne & Sons continues to seek first mortgages between $100,000 to $2 million on standing commercial properties nationwide. We particularly like Gentlemen’s Clubs. One unusual loan product that we offer is our blanket loan against a portfolio of rental homes. We will also hypothecate notes and buy commercial loans at a discount. We also make non-owner-occupied, business purpose, residential loans in many states. Please be sure to bookmark our commercial mortgage rate sheet right now.

Call or click on your favorite loan representative to email:

(916) 338-3232

Get Out of School Joke

Teacher: "Whoever answers my next question, can go home."   One boy throws his bag out the window.   Teacher: "Who just threw that?"   Boy: "Me, and now I’m going home.”

Quickly Find 30 Commercial Lenders For Your Deal

CommercialMortgage.com has thousands and thousands of commercial real estate lenders. Ever wonder where we get them? 

We have a standing trade offer where we will trade a copy of my famous 9-hour video training course, Learn to Broker Commercial Loans ($549), for a list of 20 commercial real estate loan officers working for banks and credit unions. As a result, the list of commercial lenders on CommercialMortgage.com is constantly growing.

If you find a lender who has left the bank, please find out his replacement (we’ll need his address, phone, and email), please write to Tom Blackburne at tommy@blackburne.com, and he’ll send you a choice of TWO of the following: (1) Income Property Underwriting Manual; (2) Commercial Mortgage Marketing Course; (3) Loan Broker Fee Agreement; and (4) Regional copy of The Blackburne List of commercial lenders.

Pringles Trivia

Worldwide, there are over 100 different flavors of Pringles potato chips, or potato crisps, if you prefer. Certain flavors are only available in certain markets. Currently, you can find Pringles being sold in over 140 countries. So take your pick, you have flavors such as Paprika, Onion Blossom, Prawn Cocktail, Grilled Shrimp, Honey Mustard, Hot & Spicy Wonton, just to name a few.

Savings Joke

After years of scrimping and saving, a husband told his wife the good news: "Honey, we've finally saved enough money to buy what we started saving for in 1979.” "You mean a brand-new Cadillac?" she asked eagerly. "No," said the husband, "a 1979 Cadillac.”

Business Purpose Rental Home Loans in Most States

Apply Now! Please pay special attention to the following: Unlike other hard money brokers, Blackburne & Sons Realty Capital Corporation makes home loans with a 15-year term (30-year amortization), and there is NO prepayment penalty. Our competitors make just three-year or five-year bridge loans. Our loans are clearly better because you may want to hold the property. These loans are sometimes known as buy-to-rent loans.

Historically, Blackburne & Sons was mostly a commercial lender. This has now changed. We are aggressively aggressively seeking non-owner occupied home loans. We have already closed loans in the following states, and our attorney can quickly research your state to verify that we can lend there. Unfortunately, in a handful of states, an NMLS license is not enough.

What about YOUR state? If you have a real-life deal, we’ll hire our attorney to quickly research its availability.

The property has to be non-owner occupied, and the purpose of the loan must be for business. Remember, the nice thing about business purpose home loans from Blackburne & Sons is that our loans have a 30-year amortization, a 15-year term, and no prepayment penalty.

Call or click on your favorite loan representative to email:

(916) 338-3232

Dirty Clothes Joke

Weary of constantly picking clothes up from the floor of her son's room, a mother finally laid down the law. Each item of clothing she had to pick up would cost her son 25 cents. By the end of the week, he owed her $9.50. She received the money promptly, along with a 50 cent tip and a note that read, "Thanks, Mom, keep up the good work!"

Early Morning Joke

My neighbor rang on my doorbell at 3:00 am... can you believe it!? Luckily I was still up playing the drums.

Shopping List Joke

My father was completely lost in the kitchen and never ate unless someone prepared a meal for him. When Mother was ill, however, he volunteered to go to the supermarket for her. She sent him off with a carefully numbered list of seven items. 

Dad returned shortly, very proud of himself, and proceeded to unpack the grocery bags. He had one bag of sugar, two dozen eggs, three hams, four boxes of detergent, five boxes of crackers, six eggplants, and seven green peppers. 

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Flirting Student Joke

A school teacher sends home a note with student. The note reads, ”Your son is an obedient and bright student, but spends too much time talking to girls.” The mother sends a note back the following day, ”Please advise a solution. His father has the same problem.”

- Today's Observation -

Refinance Your Commercial Loan Right Now!

Days Now Matter.

When banks get scared, one of the first lending spigots that they turn off is commercial mortgage lending. Banks are about to get scared again. This recovery cannot continue too much longer. It's already the longest recovery in history.

Ordinarily, a garden-variety recession is no big deal. Unfortunately, the timing of this recession may kill President Trump’s chances of reelection. We could easily elect a socialist-leaning president, like Elizabeth Warren.

Holy poop! Right or wrong, equity investors will not like that. Can you imagine the rout in the stock market once it becomes clear that Trump will lose? A 30% to 40% crash in the stock market would send our banks into survival mode. New loans will be rare, but the banks will continue to rake in their monthly payments.

Using this handy formula, your client can expect a commercial real estate loan from a bank of 4.43% to 5.18%. That’s a wonderful rate, so call up your investors and get them moving right now. If they start the process right away, they will likely close just in time.

Golf Ball Joke

A nurse noticed a golfer pacing up and down outside the operating room where another golfer who had a golf ball driven down his throat was bring treated. "Is he a relative of yours?" she asked. "No," said the golfer. "It's my ball.”

Blaring Music Joke

We were at a red light when a car pulled up, its music blasting. “He’ll be deaf before he’s 25,” I said. “That won’t help us,” my wife replied. “He’ll only turn it up.”

Have You Been Screwed Out of a Big Loan Fee Yet?

Whenever someone boasts of being a good horseman, I always ask him, “Have you ever been thrown?” The correct answer is, “Many, many times”. There is an old saying, “If you ain’t been thrown, you ain't ridden very much.” The same is unfortunately true of commercial mortgage brokerage. You will screwed out of a loan fee of $10,000 or more at least twice per year for your entire career. Now I am NOT talking about the borrower closing the loan and not paying you. That rarely happens. What these dastardly borrowers do is lie to you or cancel on you. You would be a flipping idiot not to pay a lousy $199 for my ninety-minute video training course, Fee Collection For Commercial Mortgage Brokers. It includes my famous fee agreement. Go ahead and ignore this section. You will cry, I absolutely guarantee you.

Now available online!

Two Doors Joke

A man was invited to a wedding. When he reached the hotel, he found two doors written on them… 

1.  Bride relatives 

2.  Groom relatives 

He entered the groom door and found two doors again. 

1.  Ladies 

2.  Men 

He entered men door and found two doors again. 

1.  People with gifts 

2.  People without gifts 

He entered the second door (people without gifts )… and found himself outside the hotel.

How To Earn Huge Referral Fees

Please click here after viewing the video.

Dinosaur Joke

Three dinosaurs stumble across a magic lamp. They rub it, and a genie appears. “I have three wishes, so I’ll give one to each of you,” the genie announces. The first dinosaur thinks hard. “Alright,” he says, “I’ll have a big, juicy, piece of meat.” Instantly, the biggest, juiciest piece of meat he’d ever seen appears in front of him. Not to be outdone, the second dinosaur thinks even harder. “I know! I’ll have a shower of meat!” Immediately, huge pieces of meat rain down around him.

The third dinosaur, certain not to be outdone, thinks harder than the previous dinosaurs. “I’ve got it!” he cries, “I want a MEATIER shower!"

Video - Thirty Years Ago, My Family Got to Pet Three Competing Giant Tortoises, Who Jumped Up Like Puppies

Get Four Free Training Courses

Are you desperate to learn commercial real estate finance, but you’re as poor as a church mouse? Get four training courses for free.

Final Funny

A rancher was minding his own business when a DEA agent came up up to him and said, "We got a tip that you may be growing illegal drugs on the premises. Do you mind if I take a look around?" 

The old rancher replied, "That's fine, you shouldn't go over there though."  As he pointed at one of his fields.  The arrogant DEA agent snapped at him, "I'm am a federal agent!  I can go wherever I want!”  With that he pulled out his badge and shoved it into the ranchers face. 

The rancher shrugged this off and continued with his daily chores.  About 15 minutes later he heard a loud scream from the field he had pointed out earlier.  All of a sudden he could see the DEA agent sprinting towards him with a large bull on his heels. 

The rancher rushed to the fence and yelled, "Your badge!  Show him your badge!"

NMLS #167100

CA DRE #1330173

4811 Chippendale Drive, Suite 101

Sacramento, CA 95841

P: (916) 338-3232

F: (916) 338-2328

NMLS #103430

CA DRE #829677