March 10, 2019


Volume 19, Issue 2


C-Loans Client Newsletter

You are receiving this letter because you are a commercial mortgage broker client of either Blackburne & Sons or C-Loans, Inc. Removal instructions are below. Today we’ll discuss where to go to find a construction loan. We have lots of cute, clean jokes, some funny pics, and a funny video of some drunken goats.


Joke Du Jour

My married friends have theme parties -- theme parties! And they want me, a single guy, to come and hang out. "Dude come over on Saturday, we're having a pirate party. We're all going to dress up like pirates. Doesn't matter to me -- I'm getting ‘kissed’ at the end of the night. I just wanna watch you try to score with a peg leg and an eye patch on.”


Free Commercial Loan Placement Kit

Your free commercial loan placement kit contains a list of of 200 commercial lenders, a Commercial Loan Checklist, a superb white paper on where to find commercial lenders when the market is tight, and a short video lesson explaining mezzanine loans and preferred equity. 


I Eat My Vegetables


You're Subscribed to My Blog, Right?

It’s free training in commercial mortgage brokerage. And because it's old man Blackburne writing, you just know this blog is funny.

Click HERE to subscribe


Thomas Jefferson Joke

Look at Thomas Jefferson. The guy had illegitimate kids in the 1700's, and they only caught him this last year.  If you cheat on your wife and cover it up for 200 years, you're pretty much thinking you're home free.


How C-Loans Actually Works

C-Loans Intro

Three Questions Joke

I only have three requirements when it comes to girls. Ready? One: are you a girl? Have you always been a girl? And, if not, can you keep a secret?


Place Your Loan With C-Loans is a commercial mortgage portal where you can enter a commercial loan in just four minutes and then submit it to hundreds of different commercial lenders with one click. Please pay particular attention to the word, is not just a list of lenders. You can actually submit your four-minute application to thirty or forty different lenders, until you find that one bank that is hungry to make a commercial loan right now! And is free!


Mom? Mom?! MOM!!!


Got a Slightly Flawed Commercial Loan? Call Blackburne & Sons

Apply Now! Blackburne & Sons continues to seek first mortgages between $100,000 to $2 million on standing commercial properties nationwide. We particularly like Gentlemen’s Clubs. One unusual loan product that we offer is our blanket loan against a portfolio of rental homes. We will also hypothecate notes and buy commercial loans at a discount. We also make non-owner-occupied, business purpose, residential loans in many states. Please be sure to bookmark our commercial mortgage rate sheet right now.

Call or email your favorite loan representative:

(916) 338-3232


Hello Joke

A man comes home from work early to find his wife in bed with three men. Completely shocked, he shouts, "Hello, Hello, Hello!” His wife complains, "What? No hello for me?”


CommercialMortgage . com is a Free Commercial Lender Search Engine

We own a second commercial mortgage portal, (“CMDC”). CMDC contains almost 4,000 commercial lenders, in addition to, and different from, the 750 commercial lenders on If you can’t find the right lender on C-Loans, be sure to try


Business Purpose Rental Home Loans in Twenty States

Apply Now! Please pay special attention to the following: Unlike other hard money brokers, Blackburne & Sons Realty Capital Corporation makes home loans with a 15-year term (30-year amortization), and there is NO prepayment penalty. Our competitors make just three-year or five-year bridge loans. Our loans are clearly better because you may want to hold the property. These loans are sometimes known as buy-to-rent loans.

Historically, Blackburne & Sons was mostly a commercial lender. This has now changed. We are aggressively aggressively seeking non-owner occupied home loans. We have already closed loans in the following states, and our attorney can quickly research your state to verify that we can lend there. Unfortunately, in a handful of states, an NMLS license is not enough; but we can definitely lend in the following states:

  • New Jersey
  • Missouri
  • Maryland
  • Alaska
  • Ohio
  • Florida
  • New York
  • California
  • Washington
  • Arizona
  • Texas
  • Hawaii
  • Virginia
  • Delaware
  • Indiana
  • Louisiana
  • Hawaii
  • North Carolina
  • Georgia
  • Pennsylvania

Unfortunately the following states are out:

  • Nevada
  • Minnesota
  • Idaho
  • Oregon
  • South Dakota
  • Vermont
  • North Dakota
  • Utah

What about YOUR state? If you have a real-life deal, we’ll hire our attorney to quickly research its availability.

The property has to be non-owner occupied, and the purpose of the loan must be for business. Remember, the nice thing about business purpose home loans from Blackburne & Sons is that our loans have a 30-year amortization, a 15-year term, and no prepayment penalty.

Call or email your favorite loan representative:

(916) 338-3232


Dating Game Joke

You ever see "The Dating Game?" That's a weird game show. The prize on that show: Another contestant. Talk about cheap.


Learn Commercial Real Estate Finance - 9hr Video Training

It would be a lot easier to close your commercial deals if you actually knew the subject matter. Are you finally ready to learn the financial ratios and the advanced terminology of commercial real estate finance? Just $549.


Bachelorette Joke

I hate "The Bachelor” and "The Bachelorette.” You know why? 'Cause all them women don't represent. All them women are cute, prissy, soft-spoke, little prissy girls. I can't stand it. Women like that can get married anyway, that's no challenge. I want to see a show with loud, outspoken, bossy (w)itches. Women who are stalkers. Women who be following a man home, throwing a brick in his windshield. That's my new show. Call it, "Who Wants to Marry This (W)itch?” — Retha Jones


Become a Hard Money Lender

One reason why hard money brokers make ten times more money than desk-and-a-phone mortgage brokers is that they approve their own deals!! Four-hour video course, How To Find Your Own Private Mortgage Investors. Just $549.


Gay Marriage Joke

Here's how I feel about gay marriage. I don't understand why people care whether you marry a man or a woman. 'Cause if you've ever seen a couple over 65, it can be hard to tell who is who.


Get Both Courses For Just $849

Save $249



Where to Place Commercial Construction Loans

First all, commercial banks and credit unions make 99% of all commercial construction loans, so start there. In addition, commercial construction loans are almost alway made by local lenders. A New York bank is not going to make a commercial construction loan in Florida, so go local, young man! Plot on Google Maps all of the nearby banks and credit unions and then approach them.

Match the size of your commercial construction loan to the size of the bank. Take a $1.5 million deal to a community bank. Take a $5 million deal to a regional bank. Take a $30 million commercial construction loan to a money center bank.

An easy way to find a commercial construction lender is to submit your deal using or to look up lenders on

Here is the problem that you are going to have: Your developer is not going to have enough equity in the deal - equity in his land, his prepaid costs - like architectural and engineering, and any cash he can bring to the closing table. The bank is going to demand even more skin in the game.

Blackburne & Sons does NOT make commercial construction loans; but we WILL bring in small amounts of equity into commercial construction deals that are just a little short of equity. Here are the details.


Gender Bathroom Joke

Over the years, my husband and I have usually managed to decode the cute, but confusing, gender signs sometimes put on restaurant restroom doors (Buoys and Gulls, Laddies and Lassies, etc.), but every so often we get stumped.

Recently my husband wandered off in search of the men's room and found himself confronted by two marked doors. One was labeled "Bronco," and the other was designated "Cactus.”  Completely baffled, he stopped a restaurant employee passing by.  "Excuse me. I need to use the restroom," he said.  Gesturing toward the doors, he asked, "Which one should I use?"

"Actually, we would prefer you to go there," the employee said, pointing to a door down the hall marked MEN. Bronco and Cactus are private dining rooms."


How To Generate Commercial Leads Like Turning On a Spigot

I just completed updating in 2019 my popular video course, “How to Market for Commercial Loans.” I have been marketing for commercial loans for almost 40 years. I have wasted well over $175,000 on marketing campaigns that were complete busts. Direct mail. Postcards. Classified ads. Magazine ads. Google ads. Complete busts. Here is what works.


First Breakfast Joke

"If you'll make the toast and pour the juice, Sweetheart," said the newlywed bride, "breakfast will be ready.”  "Good, what are we having for breakfast?" asked the new husband.  "Toast and juice," she replied.


Have You Been Screwed Out of a Big Loan Fee Yet?

Whenever someone boasts of being a good horseman, I always ask him, “Have you ever been thrown?” The correct answer is, “Many, many times”. There is an old saying, “If you ain’t been thrown, you ain't ridden very much.” The same is unfortunately true of commercial mortgage brokerage. You will screwed out of a loan fee of $10,000 or more at least twice per year for your entire career. Now I am NOT talking about the borrower closing the loan and not paying you. That rarely happens. What these dastardly borrowers do is lie to you or cancel on you. You would be a flipping idiot not to pay a lousy $199 for my ninety-minute video training course, Fee Collection For Commercial Mortgage Brokers. It includes my famous fee agreement. Go ahead and ignore this section. You will cry, I absolutely guarantee you.


How To Earn Huge Referral Fees

Please click here after viewing the video.

Referral Fees

Chicken Joke

Who was the first person to say, "See that chicken there? I'm gonna eat the next thing that comes outta its butt.”


Get Four Free Training Courses

Are you desperate to learn commercial real estate finance, but you’re as poor as a church mouse? Get four training courses for free.


Video - The Party Must Have Been Fun

Okay, maybe I shouldn't have had that last drink.


Final Funny

There was a gentleman in the hospital bed next to me. Every limb was in a cast, and he was covered with bandages from head to toe. I said to him, "What do you do for a living?” He said, "I'm a former window washer.” I asked, "When did you give it up?” He replied, "Halfway down.”


FREE Commercial Loan Brokerage Training

From an Industry Veteran And Attorney

The C-Loans Blog:

Every week we publish one or two new blog articles that train commercial brokers in commercial real estate finance. We try to have fun with it, including lots of funny pics. If you want access to this FREE training, subscribe to George's blog by clicking the button below.

NMLS #167100

CA DRE #1330173


4811 Chippendale Drive, Suite 101

Sacramento, CA 95841

P: (916) 338-3232

F: (916) 338-2328


NMLS #103430

CA DRE #829677