July 9, 2018



MORTGAGE STUFF

Volume 18, Issue 5


 

C-Loans Client Newsletter

You are receiving this letter because you are a commercial mortgage broker client of either Blackburne & Sons or C-Loans, Inc. Removal instructions are below.  Today we'll explain how to get the largest possible commercial loan (how to get your commercial lender to stretch). And as always, we have lots of great jokes and funny pics, plus a cool video of a mini-twister that hits a Little League game.

 

Joke Du Jour

A therapist has a theory that the more often couples make love, the happier they are. So he tests it at a seminar by asking those assembled, "How many people here make love 2 to 3 times a week?" Half the people raise their hands, each of them grinning widely. "How about once a week?" A third of the audience members raise their hands, their grins a bit less vibrant. "Once a month?" A few hands tepidly go up. Then he asks, "OK, how about once a year?"

One man in the back jumps up and down, jubilantly waving his hands. The therapist is shocked as this lone aberration disproves his theory. "If you make love only once a year," he asks the wildly grinning man, "what are you so happy about?” The man yells, “Tonight’s the night!"

 

Get Free Training In Commercial Real Estate Finance (CREF)

Eight years ago I started having serious heart problems, and I was worried that I would die before I finished training my sons, George IV and Tom, in the commercial mortgage business. I started writing a training blog, where I taught my sons all of the terminology and ratios of this business - subjects like cap rates, operating expense ratios, debt service coverage ratios, and the new ratio, the debt yield ratio. I now have written sixty articles, and most subscribers to my blog would agree that this training is wonderful. To get two free training articles each week, please click here.

 

Are Humans A Bunch of Sicko's?

 

Place Your Loan With C-Loans.com

C-Loans.com is a commercial mortgage portal where you can enter a commercial loan in just four minutes and then submit it to hundreds of different commercial lenders with one click. Please pay particular attention to the word, submit.

C-Loans.com is not just a list of lenders. You can actually submit your four-minute application to thirty or forty different lenders, until you find that one bank that is hungry to make a commercial loan right now! And C-Loans.com is free!

 

Tarot Cards Joke

A woman visited a psychic of some local repute. In a dark and gloomy room, gazing at the Tarot cards laid out before her, the Tarot reader delivered the bad news: "There is no easy way to say this so I'll just be blunt: Prepare yourself to be a widow. Your husband will die a violent death this year."

Visibly shaken, the woman stared at the psychic's lined face, then at the single flickering candle, then down at her hands. She took a few deep breaths to compose herself. She simply had to know. She met the Tarot reader's gaze, steadied her voice and asked, "Will I get away with it?”

 

Submit Your Commercial Application Today

Blackburne & Sons continues to seek first mortgages between $100,000 to $3.5 million on standing commercial properties nationwide. We have tons of money right now, so we can do some of the larger loans that in the past were too large for us. One unusual loan product that we offer is our blanket loan against a portfolio of rental homes. We will also hypothecate notes and buy commercial loans at a discount.

We also make non-owner-occupied, business purpose, residential loans in many states.

Please be sure to bookmark our commercial mortgage rate sheet right now. To apply for a private money commercial loan from Blackburne & Sons, please find your favorite loan officer below:

 

They Found a Woman's Arm in a Florida Alligator Last Month

 

Underwriting Manual, Marketing Course, Fee Agreement, List of 750+ Lenders - Choose TWO

If you register on C-Loans.com and submit a real-life deal to six of our commercial lenders, we will give you a choice of TWO of the following:

  • Commercial Mortgage Underwriting Manual (sells for $199 on our site)
  • Commercial Mortgage Marketing Course (the PDF to our $199 course)
  • Mortgage Broker Fee Agreement (our fee collection course sells for $199)
  • Regional List of 750+ Commercial Lenders (different from the 750 banks on C-Loans.com)

Don’t get confused. If you once filled out a little form to get a free list of 200 commercial lenders or a free commercial loan placement kit, then you have NOT registered on C-Loans. Submitting a commercial loan using C-Loans is a six-step process (but it still only takes about four minutes). Click here to register on C-Loans.com and to submit your commercial loan. Once you have submitted your commercial loan to six of our lenders, please email Tom Blackburne and indicate which of the two free gifts that you want.

 

Camping Tips Joke

Q. What equipment will I need to go camping?

A. You need a tent. Tent sizes are measured in units of men, as in "a three-man tent"; this tells you how many men are required to erect the tent if they are all professional tent engineers. Even then, the tent will collapse under unusual weather conditions, such as nightfall. You will also need a hatchet, for the spiders, and a credit card, for the motel.

Q. How much food should I take?

A. A lot. You'll be providing food not only for your family, but also for the entire raccoon community. When I was a boy in rural Armonk, our garbage cans were regularly terrorized by a gang of brilliant criminal raccoons. I recall being awakened at 3 a.m. by loud noises and looking out the window to see, by moonlight, my father, a peace-loving Presbyterian minister, charging around in the bushes, wildly swinging a baseball bat and saying non-Presbyterian words.

Of course, he did not get the raccoons; you NEVER get the raccoons.

 

Buy Commercial Leads For Just $1 to $9 (Plus 37.5 Bps. Per Closing)

Commercial leads for just $3? That’s amazing. The bad news? So many lead buyers cheated us on our closing fee that we were forced to raise our minimum credit score to 700 and our minimum net worth to $700,000. (And afterwards our income from closings skyrocketed!Do you qualify?  

But what if you don’t qualify? If you enter two loans in C-Loans.com, submit them to six C-Loans lenders, and close them with C-Loans lenders, we will allow you to start buying our cheap commercial leads. It’s not an exaggeration to say that getting approved to buy leads would be one of the most positive things to ever happen to you in business. Les Agisim has closed 51 commercial loans for C-Loans. Jason Bengert, Paul Elis, and Rick Gnafakis have each closed more the 40 commercial loans for C-Loans.

Let’s summarize. If you submit a commercial loan using the six-step C-Loans process, you get to choose TWO prizes from the list above. If you close a second deal, you can start to buy leads from C-Loans. If you close 5 commercial loans for C-Loans, we’ll list you on C-Loans as a Proven Broker. And if ever get listed on C-Loans as a Proven Broker, you’ll be set for the rest of your business life. Every day perfect commercial loan applications will arrive in your inbox.

 

Ice Cream Joke 

"New York's State Assembly is considering a new bill that would legalize alcoholic ice cream. 'That's great news,' said a five-year-old having a rough day. Just a little something to take the edge off, Ma.'” — Seth Meyers

 

We're Now Making Business Purpose Rental Home Loans in All But Eight States

These loans are sometimes known as buy-to-rent loans. For the past 37 years, Blackburne & Sons has exclusively been a commercial lender. This has now changed. We are aggressively seeking non-owner occupied home loans in California and most other states.

The property has to be non-owner occupied, and the purpose of the loan must be for business. The nice thing about business purpose home loans from Blackburne & Sons is that our loans have a 15-year term and no prepayment penalty.

Got a commercial deal nationwide or a business purpose, non-owner-occupied residential deal in one of the above four states? Please call your loan officer:

Alicia Gandy: (916) 338-3232 // NMLS #389678

To apply to Alicia online, please click here.

George Blackburne, IV: (916) 338-3232 // NMLS #382122

To apply to George online, please click here.

Tom Blackburne: (574) 210-6686 // NMLS #1014118

To apply to Tom online, please click here.

Michael Young : (916) 338-3232 // NMLS #1535540

To apply to Michael online, please click here.

Loans made under the California Finance Lenders Law.

 

Oh, Noooooooo!

 

CommercialMortgage.com is a Free Commercial Lender Search Engine

We have made a huge change. We have highlighted those commercial banks and credit unions who are the hungriest to make commercial loans today - CommercialMortgage.com.

 

Harmonica Joke

"Thanks for the harmonica you gave me for Christmas," little Joshua said to his uncle the first time he saw him after the holidays. "It's the best present I ever got.” "That's great," said his uncle. "Do you know how to play it?"

"Oh, I don't play it," the little fellow said. "My mom gives me a dollar a day not to play it during the day and my dad gives me five dollars a week not to play it at night.”

 

9-Hour Video Training Course, How To Broker Commercial Loans

Includes marketing, underwriting, packaging, placement, and fee collection. Just $549.

 

Flirting Joke

(This young woman tells the story.) During a conference, I was pleasantly surprised to be seated next to a very handsome man. We flirted casually through dinner, then grew restless as the dignitaries gave speeches. During one particularly long-winded lecture, my new friend drew a # sign on a cocktail napkin. Excited, I wrote down my phone number. Looking startled for a moment, he flipped the napkin over and drew another # sign, this time adding an X to the upper-left-hand corner.

 

Become a Hard Money Lender

It’s the servicing income, silly! We make more than $85,000 per month, whether we close a loan or so. Just hire a sub-servicing company to service your deals. Four-hour video course, How To Find Your Own Private Mortgage Investors. Just $549.

 

Bath Toys Joke

"I could tell that my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and a radio.”

 

Get Both Courses For Just $849

Save $249

 

Civil War Joke

"I come from a stupid family. During the Civil War, my great Uncle fought for the West!"

 

Free Mortgage Broker Fee Agreement

You probably think that fee agreements are designed for the situations where the borrower closes the deal and doesn’t pay you. This rarely happens. What happens far more often is that a borrower flat-out lies to you or he cancels on you. I have used my fee agreement to successfully obtain judgments of over $1 million in fees. I’ll trade you my famous fee agreement for a bona fide banker making commercial loans.  Hint: You are NOT a banker.

 

I Hope Her TSA Agent Has a Sense of Humor

 

Gnats Joke

Heading down the interstate, our car passed through a huge swarm of gnats so dense that their bodies made popping noises as they hit the windshield. "I can't get over how loud they are," my wife said. "Well, we are hitting them at 65 miles an hour," I pointed out. Her reply left me speechless. "There's no way bugs can fly that fast!”

 

Download Your Free Commercial Mortgage Marketing Course

We sell this course separately for $199. Click here to get your free commercial mortgage marketing course.

 

Hushers Joke

Six-year-old Angie and her four-year-old brother Joel were sitting together in church. Joel giggled, sang, and talked out loud during the service. Finally, his big sister had enough. "You're not supposed to talk out loud in church.” "Why? Who's going to stop me?" Joel asked indignantly. Angie pointed to the back of the church and said, "See those two men standing by the door? They're hushers!”

 

Free $549 Video Course

Just send us a list of ten bankers making commercial loans. Click here for more details.

 

Carbs Joke

There was a man in Rhode Island that was arrested after he tried to rob a bank using a potato shaped like a gun. I'm glad he didn't try that here in L.A. People would have freaked out. "Oh no, carbs! Back off, everybody! He's packing carbs!” — Craig Ferguson

 

- TODAY'S LESSON -

HOW TO GET YOUR COMMERCIAL LENDER TO STRETCH

The key to getting the largest possible commercial loan is to pay attention to the TOP LINE of the Pro Forma Operating Statement.  When you look at a Pro Forma Operating Statement - a projected budget for the property for the next twelve months - the very top line is typically listed as the Gross Potential Income. This line item represents the amount of rent that the property could generate if every single unit was rented.

(1) They fail to show the market rent of any vacant units. They will submit an apartment Rent Roll showing 58 units occupied, with the actual rent next to the number of the apartment; but they will leave the rent showing as zero for the two vacant units. By the way, a Rent Roll is a list of the rentable units / spaces by number or letter, the name of the tenant, the size of the unit, and the current rent.

(2) If the borrower fails to show the market rent of vacant units, the lender will often just take the Total Rent from the bottom of the Rent Roll and multiply it by twelve in order to compute the Gross Potential Income. If this happens, the borrower is screwed. He might lose ten to fifteen percent off the size of the loan that the commercial lender might have offered.

(3) Another common mistake is to fail to show the onsite manger's unit at market rent. Borrowers to often cut $500 to $1,000 off the manager's rent as compensation for his work.

(4) The reason why your Gross Potential Income line item must appear as large as possible, especially when applying for an apartment loan, is because many lenders will simply grab the Gross Potential Income and lop off 35% for Operating Expenses.  The lender will often totally disregard your projected expenses.

(5) Let's go back to the Onsite Property Manger. If the borrower had wisely shown the manager's unit at market rent and had deducted $1,000 per month down below in the "Property Management - Onsite" line item, then the lender wouldn't even have deducted the $12,000 per year ($1,000 per month) from the Gross Potential Income. He would simply have ignored this line item expense in favor of using a 35% Operating Expense Ratio. Wow, huh? This is huuuuge.

(6) When choosing the market rent of a vacant unit, be sure to use the highest rent that you have ever achieved for a unit of that size. Let's suppose you have six identical units. Five of the units are rented at $2,000 per month, and one is rented at $2,200 per month. If a seventh unit is vacant, be sure to show the market rent as $2,200.

If you want to obtain the largest possible commercial or apartment loan, pay particular attention to the top line of the Pro Forma Operating Statement - the Gross Potential Income.

 

The U.S. Needs Children. This Mother Should Be Canonized.

 

Get Your Fix and Flip Loan Here

Blackburne & Sons, my hard money shop, is hungry-hungry for fix and flip loans.

 

Video - Mini-Twister Hits Little League Game

Blankets and lawn chairs sucked into the stratosphere.

 

Final Funny

Little Johnny's father asked him what he wanted for his birthday. "A baby brother," he said. Later that year, his mother came home from the hospital with a baby boy. 

Little Johnny was delighted. "And what would you like this year for your birthday?" his father asked. He said, "If it isn't too uncomfortable for mommy, I'd like a pony."

 

NMLS #167100

CA DRE #1330173

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P: (916) 338-3232

F: (916) 338-2328

4811 Chippendale Drive, Suite 101

Sacramento, CA 95841

 

NMLS #103430

CA DRE #829677