Volume 18, Issue 5 | Newsletter Date: June 7, 2018

C-Loans Banker Letter

This letter is intended only for commercial real estate loan officers working for banks and hard money lenders. Today we'll talk about a future where deficits no longer matter.  We also have lots of cute, clean jokes, some funny pics, and a creepy video of the seven largest snakes ever found.

Hey guys, if we make you chuckle today, won't you please-please-please refer a turndown this week to CommercialMortgage.com?


Joke Du Jour

The Donald is walking out of the White House and heading toward his limo, when a possible assassin steps forward and aims a gun. A secret service agent, new on the job, shouts, "Mickey Mouse!" This startles the would-be- assassin, and he is captured. Later, the secret service agent's supervisor takes him aside and asks, "What in the heck made you shout Mickey Mouse?” Blushing, the agent replies, "I got nervous. I meant to shout, "Donald, duck!"


She's Gorgeous, But... (Read Her Shirt Carefully)


Today's Observation: When It Comes To Fiscal Deficits, We Have Broken The Seal

After my sons had reached their mid-twenties (they’re now in their early thirties and owe me more grandchildren), we would occasionally go out and have a few beers together after work. Being old, I would try to sneak to the bathroom to take a pee, but my sons would stop me. “Dad, you can’t break the seal. If you’re drinking beer, the moment you take that first pee, you are doomed to peeing every ten minutes. This is something that you learn in college. Don’t break the seal.”

With this latest tax cut and with trillion-dollar annual deficits projected far into the future, I fear the America has “broken the seal”. Deficits no longer seem to matter. Other than the potential for the destruction of the dollar, deficits arguably don’t matter going forward. The Fed can just buy up any unsold Treasuries. “Hey Melvin, we’ll need another two trillion dollars for next week’s Treasury auction. Just add the appropriate zeroes to the Fed’s account, okay?”

Other than the potential for the destruction of the dollar… aye, there’s the rub.

I like to bet on gravity. If you hold out a brick and drop it, I’ll bet you that its falls to the ground. I’ll also bet you that politicians (in this case Trump, but all politicians love power) will spend like crazy to stay in power. I could easily see the deficits getting larger and larger, until finally the world will lose confidence in the dollar. The dollar’s purchasing power will collapse, and inflation will go ballistic. Let’s call that moment - the instant that the investing world loses confidence in the dollar - The Hyper-Inflationary Moment.

Now we won’t go directly to this Hyper-Inflationary Moment. The Fed will make its courageous stand, when it raises the Federal Funds Rate to 25% or more; but interest rates at this level would (will) devastate the economy. The Fed was created by Congress, and it can be eliminated by Congress.

I have taken you down this imaginary path for a reason. I can’t help but think that if your family is not heavily invested in real estate at the Hyper-Inflationary Moment, they may never be able to afford it again.  After all, at that moment, who would want to trade valuable real estate for a currency that is plunging in value.

But you can’t just go out now and buy up lots of real estate using tons of leverage because you have to first survive the Fed’s Last Stand - when the Fed tries to rein in runaway inflation. As I think about the future, I could see countless properties coming back in foreclosure when interest rates climb over 20%. I was in the lending business when Volcker broke the back of inflation. It was a horrible time.

In the old days, I was called Chicken Little for my relentless warnings about deflation I even wrote a book about it, The Reverse Multiplier Effect, and that book is still available on Amazon. This fear of inflation is new to me. I am almost certainly early, just like I was early for the Great Recession; but Blackburne & Sons and our investors survived the deflationary collapse of 2008 because we had prepared our investors years ahead of time. I just can’t help but think that if your family is not heavily invested in real estate at the Hyper-Inflationary Moment, they may never be able to afford it again.


Trailer Park Joke

Q: What do you call a trailer park in a tornado?

A: Wind chimes.


Won't You Please-Please-Please Refer Us Your Commercial Mortgage Turndowns?

If you have to turn down a commercial loan this week, you would really be helping your customer if you referred him to CommercialMortgage.com. There are over 3,000 commercial lenders listed on this commercial lender search engine.



Just $2 to $3 Each. Plus 37.5 Bps on Closing. More details >


Memorial Day Joke

In honor of Memorial Day, the teacher I worked with read the Constitution to her third-grade class. After reading "We the people," she paused to ask the children what they thought that meant. One boy raised his hand and asked, "Is that like 'We da' bomb?"


Join C-Loans.com and Close Five More Loans Every Year, Decade After Decade

As a lender on C-Loans.com, you will receive carefully screened commercial loan applications directly to your email box. Each loan will be the right size, the right type (permanent, construction, bridge, etc.), on the right type of property, and in your exact lending area. And there will be a pretty good volume of them.

With one click you will see an Executive Loan Summary, with the debt service coverage ratio and loan-to-cost ratio already completed for you. Many Executive Summaries contain property pictures as well.

If you see a deal that you like, simply pick up the phone and call the borrower or broker directly, with no one else in your way. 

Does it work? C-Loans lenders have closed more than 1,000 commercial real estate loans totaling over one billion dollars. One of our lenders (Trevor Cole Commercial) just closed its 50th loan for C-Loans. Two other have closed 40+ loans for C-Loans.

How much does it cost for your bank to be listed on C-Loans.com? You can pay a monthly fee to be listed on C-Loans.com (see further below), but nobody does that. All 750 of our banks choose to simply bump their normal loan fee up from 1 point to 1.375 points. When the loan closes, we send you an invoice for our software licensing fee. Click here for more details.


Ever Wonder What a C-Loans Application Looks Like?

Here's a sample commercial loan application.


Turtle Joke

A baby turtle was standing at the bottom of a large tree, and, with a deep sigh, he started to climb. About an hour later, he reached a very high branch and walked along to the end. He turned and spread all four flippers and launched himself off the branch. Fortunately he landed in a pile of soft, dead leaves. The determined little turtle he shook himself off, walked back to the bottom of the tree and, with a sigh, started to climb. About an hour later, he again reached the very high branch, walked along, turned, spread his flippers and flung himself off the branch. Again, he landed on the bottom, shook himself off, went to the bottom of the tree, sighed, and started climbing. Watching sadly were two older birds. The Mommy bird turned to the Daddy bird and said, “I think its time that we tell Junior he was adopted."




Would You Please Refer Your Commercial Loan Turndowns to CommercialMortgage.com?

I apologize for the repeated begging, but C-Loans, Inc. is a tiny company - just an attorney dad, a couple of Eagle Scout sons, and nine hard-working co-workers. 

We do have a couple of claims to fame. (1) We are just about the oldest surving hard money lender in the country - since 1980; and (2) C-Loans.com has closed over 1,000 commercial real estate loans. That's a lot of loans for a company that never got venture capital.

Because we are so small, your commercial loan referral means something to us. It will also greatly help your client because he will be able to search a database of over 3,000 commercial lenders.

Commercial Mortgage Dot Com - an easy domain name to remember. Thank you!


Baby Daddy Joke

"Will the father be present during the birth?" the obstetrician asked solicitously. "Nah," replied the mother-to-be. "He and my husband don't get along."


Join CommercialMortgage.com For Free

Want to close a few more commercial loans? Your bank can now be listed on CommercialMortgage.com ("CMDC") for free.

"George, if CMDC is free to both banks and borrowers, how do you make any dough?"

Our hard money commercial mortgage company, Blackburne & Sons (est.1980), works the subprime leads generated by the site. Basically your bank is our loss leader. Your low-rate loan programs are our dirt-cheap toilet paper that brings shoppers into the store. Ha-ha! If you close a loan, we make nothing.

Click here to list your bank on CMDC and receive totally FREE commercial real estate loan leads.


Hey, I Resemble That Remark


Bankers: Get 200 Free SBA Loan Applications

Does your bank want to close more SBA loans? C-Loans.com will give you two hundred SBA loan leads for free, deals that are perfect for your bank. These loans will be the right size. They will be located only in your favorite counties of your favorite states, and these SBA loans leads will be secured by just the type of commercial real estate that you prefer - office buildings, industrial buildings, etc.

Please click here for more information about how to receive 200 free SBA loan applications. The above offer is made only to commercial banks and credit unions.


Death Penalty Joke

"A federal judge ruled yesterday that California's version of the death penalty is unconstitutional. Apparently the difference is California's version has avocado on it.” — Seth Meyers


Is Your Boss Having Trouble With the Idea of a Software Company That Only Gets Paid When Deals Close?

C-Loans, Inc. is a software company. It cost us $2 million and 18 years to develop the software for C-Loans.com. We have all of the required licenses to be a commercial mortgage broker, but we're just not in that business. We license software. Period. We never even speak with these borrowers.

If your bank wants to license our software on a flat fee basis, just as it does with their accounting software, their customer relationship manager (CRM) software, and their SBA loan origination software, this option is available.

For banks with less than $2 billion in assets, the cost is just $250 per month. For banks with more than $2 billion in assets and less than $7 billion in assets, the cost is just $350 per month. For banks with more than $7 billion in assets and less than $15 billion in assets, the cost is just $500 per month. For banks with more than $15 billion in assets, the cost is just $1,000 per month. In all of these cases, the bank owes nothing more, even if it closes a loan.


Goodwill Joke

My wife has been missing a week now. The police said to prepare for the worst, so I had to go back down to Goodwill to get all of her clothes back.


Shower Joke

Q: Why do men take showers instead of baths?

A: Because peeing in the bath is disgusting!


Would You Mind a $21,250 Referral Fee?

We once paid a $21,250 referral fee to a website owner named Alan Dunn of Spydercube.com for referring us a $17 million deal.

We've made it super-easy to refer us commercial loans and to receive big referral fees. Please click here for details.


Final Funny

I was eating lunch on the 18th of February with my 10-year-old grandson, and I asked him, "What day is tomorrow?” He said, "It's President's Day!" He is a smart kid, I thought to myself. Then I asked, "What does President's Day mean?" I was waiting for something about Washington or Lincoln, etc. He replied, "President's Day is when the President steps out of the White House. If he sees his shadow, we have one more year of unemployment.”


One Final Pathetic Plea

If you won't let us pay you a referral fee, won't you please-please refer your commercial mortgage turndowns to CommercialMortgage.com? Thanks!


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C-Loans.com® is sponsored by C-Loans, Inc. For more information, contact Tom Blackburne

4811 Chippendale Drive, Suite 101, Sacramento, CA 95841

Telephone: (574) 210-6686 | Fax: (916) 338-2328

Real Estate Broker -- California Bureau of Real Estate -- License Number 01330173 NMLS #167100

Loans made under the California Finance Lenders Law.