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September 28, 2020


Volume 20: Issue 6

C-Loans Client Newsletter

You are receiving this letter because you are a commercial mortgage broker client of either Blackburne & Sons or C-Loans, Inc. Removal instructions are below. Today we’ll discuss China’s economic distress and the possibility of war with China. We also have lots of cute, clean jokes, some funny pics, and a wonderful dog video. Sooo cute!


Joke Du Jour

An attorney was feeling deathly ill and went to the doctor. The doctor examined him and backed away, saying, "I'm sorry to tell you this, but you have an advanced case of highly-infectious rabies. You must have had it for some time. It will almost certainly be fatal."

"Could you give me a pen and paper?" asked the attorney. "Do you want to write your will?” asked the doctor. “No,” replied the attorney, "I want to make a list of all the people I’m going to bite.”


Free Commercial Loan Software

C-Loans has just developed some brand new commercial loan software that is super-easy to use, even for a complete newbie to commercial real estate finance. You just fill in the blanks. You can then take your professional-looking commercial loan package and submit it to any lender in the country. This new commercial loan software is also 100% free.


Stork Joke

A boy was assigned a paper on childbirth and asked his parents, "How was I born?” "Well, Honey..." said the boy's mom, "the stork brought you to us.” "Oh," said the boy. "Well, how did you and daddy get born?" he asked. "Oh, the stork brought us too," chimed in the dad. "Well how were grandpa and grandma born?" he persisted. "Well darling, the stork brought them too!" said the mom.

Several days later, the boy handed in his paper to the teacher, who read with confusion the opening sentence: "This report has been very difficult to write because there hasn't been a natural childbirth in my family for three generations."


Place Your Loan With C-Loans

C-Loans.com is a true commercial mortgage portal. It allows you to create, in just four minutes, a universal mini-app. You then submit this mini-app to our 750 different commercial lenders.

C-Loans acts like a giant filter that screens out the unsuitable lenders and reduces this huge, unmanageable list of lenders down to a list of just 30 banks, credit unions, and other lenders that are perfect for your deal. You put a checkmark next to six lenders and then press, “Submit.” Within minutes, hungry lenders will be contacting you with offers. And C-Loans is free! 

If you have never checked off six lenders on a list that looks like the image below, then you have never really used C-Loans.com.

Special COVID-19 Notice:  The whole concept of C-Loans.com is that banks are fickle.  They pop in and out of the commercial lending market on almost a daily basis. This is especially true during this COVID-19 crisis! We urge you to submit all of your commercial loans through C-Loans and to submit your deal to at least 24 different banks, six per use (just close out and come back in four times). Fortunately we just added several hundred new banks.


Union President Joke

A Union President was sitting at his son's bedside getting ready to read him a bedtime story. He starts out, "Once upon a time and a half…"


Got a Slightly Flawed Commercial Loan? Call Blackburne & Sons

Click HERE to Apply Now!

Blackburne & Sons continues to seek first mortgages between $100,000 to $2 million on standing commercial properties nationwide. We particularly like Gentlemen’s Clubs. One unusual loan product that we offer is our blanket loan against a portfolio of rental homes. We will also hypothecate notes and buy commercial loans at a discount. We also make non-owner-occupied, business purpose, residential loans in many states. Please be sure to bookmark our commercial mortgage rate sheet right now.

Call or click on your favorite loan representative to email:


Bank Account Joke

Mother decided that 9-year-old Cathy should get something “practical" for her birthday.  "Suppose we open a savings account for you?" mother suggested. Cathy was delighted. "It's your account, darling," mother said as they arrived at the bank, "so you fill out the application.” Cathy was doing fine until she came to the space for "Name of your former bank." After a slight hesitation, she put down “Piggy.”


Free Commercial Loan Placement Kit

Your free commercial loan placement kit contains a list of of 200 commercial lenders, a Commercial Loan Checklist, a superb white paper on where to find commercial lenders when the market is tight, and a short video lesson explaining mezzanine loans and preferred equity. 


How C-Loans Actually Works

Think of C-Loans.com as a giant filter. We start with 750 participating commercial lenders. Every time you enter more information into the application - loan amount, property type, loan type, state, credit - dozens of lenders are filtered out. Upon completion, you are left with a list of 20 to 30 perfect lenders. You put a check mark next to six lenders at a time and press submit. Soon you are receiving quotes and offers. No good offers? Come back and submit to six more lenders, then six more, and so on. And C-Loans.com is free!

C-Loans Intro

Buffalo Joke

Q: What did the buffalo say when his son left for college?

A: Bison!


Business Purpose Rental Home Loans in Most States

Click HERE to Apply Now!

Please pay special attention to the following: Unlike other hard money brokers, Blackburne & Sons Realty Capital Corporation makes home loans with a 15-year term (30-year amortization), and there is NO prepayment penalty. Our competitors make just three-year or five-year bridge loans. Our loans are clearly better because you may want to hold the property. These loans are sometimes known as buy-to-rent loans.

Historically, Blackburne & Sons was mostly a commercial lender. This has now changed. We are aggressively aggressively seeking non-owner occupied home loans. We have already closed loans in the following states, and our attorney can quickly research your state to verify that we can lend there. Unfortunately, in a handful of states, an NMLS license is not enough.

Commercial: NATIONWIDE


  • Alaska
  • Arizona
  • California
  • Delaware
  • Florida
  • Georgia
  • Hawaii
  • Hawaii
  • Indiana
  • Louisiana
  • Louisiana
  • Maryland
  • Michigan
  • Missouri
  • New Hampshire
  • New Jersey
  • New York
  • North Carolina
  • Ohio
  • Oklahoma
  • Pennsylvania
  • Rhode Island
  • South Carolina
  • Tennessee
  • Texas
  • Virginia
  • Washington
  • West Virginia
  • Wisconsin

What about YOUR state? If you have a real-life deal, we’ll hire our attorney to quickly research its availability.

The property has to be non-owner occupied, and the purpose of the loan must be for business. Remember, the nice thing about business purpose home loans from Blackburne & Sons is that our loans have a 30-year amortization, a 15-year term, and no prepayment penalty.

Call or click on your favorite loan representative to email:


Learn Commercial Real Estate Finance

9-Hour Video Training Course

It would be a lot easier to close your commercial deals if you actually knew the subject matter. Are you finally ready to learn the financial ratios and the advanced terminology of commercial real estate finance? Just $549.

Now Available Online!


Vasectomy Joke

One day, after a man had his annual physical, the doctor came out and said, "You had a great checkup. Is there anything that you'd like to talk about or ask me?” "Well," he said, "I was thinking about getting a vasectomy.” "That's a pretty big decision. Have you talked it over with your family?” "Yeah, and they're in favor 12 to 1.”


Become a Hard Money Lender

One reason why hard money brokers make ten times more money than desk-and-a-phone mortgage brokers is that they approve their own deals!! Four-hour video course, How To Find Your Own Private Mortgage Investors. Just $549.

Now Available Online!


Texting Joke

Me (texting): "Are we still on for today?"

Reply Received: "You don’t have to text me this every morning! As your boss, trust me when I say, WE ARE ‘ON' FOR WORK EVERY DAY, MON - FRI!”


Get Both Courses For Just $849

Save $249


Congress Joke

Working on Capitol Hill, my husband was under constant pressure. After one late-night session, he came home exhausted and went straight to bed. When I turned out the light, he sat up in a panic. "Is everything okay in the house?" he asked. "Yes, honey," I answered. "I locked the doors and turned down the heat.” "That's good," he said, lying back down, his eyelids heavy. "What about the Senate?”


- Today's Observation -

If China's Economy Starts to Stall,

President Xi Might Start a War

I think China has gotten massively battered in the past two years. The economic statistics coming out of China look just fine, but I don’t trust them. Just think about all of the economic body blows that China has recently absorbed.

It started with President Trump making it outright unpatriotic to move any more U.S. manufacturing plants to China. Maybe even a few manufacturing plants jobs have come home.

Then the U.S. slapped sanctions on many Chinese imports. Suddenly a few U.S. industries, like steel, could start to compete with China. 

Trump’s hammering of China has resonated in Europe and throughout the Pacific Rim. You might hate Trump’s sharp New York tongue, but he has been very influential in shaping a worldwide distrust of China. International factories that otherwise might have been constructed in China are now going to Vietnam and India. On the margin, China has surely lost a few sales, if a reasonably priced competing product was available.

And then came the Coronavirus Crisis. Was the virus really created in a Chinese lab? Who knows? But President Trump has achieved some success convincing both Democrats and Republicans that China was to blame. This could NOT have been good for business in China.

On top of that, tens of thousands of Chinese small businesses must have failed during the Coronavirus Crisis. Eighty percent of all urban Chinese workers work for private businesses.  Millions must have lost their jobs. 

I am starting to see signs that China is running out of U.S. dollars, the currency the world uses to buy raw materials and to trade. They had something like $3 trillion in currency reserves several years ago. I think they are down to just $1 trillion. Be careful here. I could be totally wrong on these numbers; but I doubt seriously whether the Chinese have been able to add to their currency reserves in the past two years.

Why should you care? I exchanged emails with a Hong King citizen a month ago, and he pointed out that in a war, the U.S. could kill one billion Chinese citizens, and they would still have more people than we have. 

President Xi of China has made himself president for life, so just one guy controls all $1.35 billion of them. The Chinese are graduating five times more engineering students than we are. In a war of attrition, we lose.

But why should you care? If the economy in China starts to suffer, and the people start to get restless, President Xi will start to lose political support. There is nothing like a war to rally the people around the flag. 

I therefore predict that China will invade Taiwan within two and a half years.

The U.S. will have no choice but to enter into a full-fledged conventional war with China. If we lose that first row of islands - Taiwan, Guam, Senkaku, Diaoyu, and Okinawa - then the Solomons, Midway, Hawaii, and possibly even California would be next. 

Imagine Chinese missile ships raining conventional but highly-accurate missiles down on California. Our military policy is to fight World War III out there, not on our own soil.

Fanciful? China now has more modern warships than the U.S. Navy. As I often tell my sons, “History doesn’t always happen to the other guy.”


How To Generate Commercial Leads Like Turning On a Spigot

I just completed updating in 2019 my popular video course, “How to Market for Commercial Loans.” I have been marketing for commercial loans for almost 40 years. I have wasted well over $175,000 on marketing campaigns that were complete busts. Direct mail. Postcards. Classified ads. Magazine ads. Google ads. Complete busts. Here is what works.


Vacation Joke

My friend Jim told me that when he asked his wife where she wanted to go on vacation, she said that being married to him was a vacation. When I commented that was a nice thing to say to him, Jim replied, "Well, actually, what she said was I was the 'last resort.'"


Have You Been Screwed Out of a Big Loan Fee Yet?

Whenever someone boasts of being a good horseman, I always ask him, “Have you ever been thrown?” The correct answer is, “Many, many times”. There is an old saying, “If you ain’t been thrown, you ain't ridden very much.” The same is unfortunately true of commercial mortgage brokerage. You will screwed out of a loan fee of $10,000 or more at least twice per year for your entire career. Now I am NOT talking about the borrower closing the loan and not paying you. That rarely happens. What these dastardly borrowers do is lie to you or cancel on you. You would be a flipping idiot not to pay a lousy $199 for my ninety-minute video training course, Fee Collection For Commercial Mortgage Brokers. It includes my famous fee agreement. Go ahead and ignore this section. You will cry, I absolutely guarantee you.

Now Available Online!


Election Fraud Joke

"An 11-year-old boy in Florida was able to hack into a state elections website and change results in under 10 minutes; so get ready to meet Florida's next governor, Fortnite McDeadpool.” — Jimmy Fallon 


Need a NMLS License? Need to Renew Your CE Hours?

This fun instructor makes these hours bearable.


Underwear Joke

Two buddies were getting dressed in the locker room after a workout, when the first man saw something that give him a bit of a shock. "How long have you been wearing that bra?" the man asked his friend. The friend replies, "Ever since my wife found it in the glove compartment of my car.” 


Still Can’t Find the Right Commercial Lender?

Try CommercialMortgage.com. This free commercial mortgage portal has almost 4,000 commercial lenders in its databank. None of these commercial lenders appear on C-Loans.


How To Earn Huge Referral Fees

Please click here after viewing the video.

Referral Fees

FREE Commercial Loan Brokerage Training

From an Attorney and Industry Veteran

The C-Loans Blog: info.c-loans.com

Every week we publish one or two new blog articles that train commercial brokers in commercial real estate finance. We try to have fun with it, including lots of funny pics. If you want access to this FREE training, subscribe to George's blog by clicking the button below. 


Video - Hilarious


Get Four Free Training Courses

Are you desperate to learn commercial real estate finance, but you’re as poor as a church mouse? Get four training courses for free.


Final Funny

The devil told the pope, "No one in the world has a better memory than I do.” The Pope responded, “Really? Well I know this Native American guy who has the best memory in the world, and I'll even prove it.” Then the devil replied, "OK, I'll take your offer and if I have a better memory I get your soul.” "It's a deal" replied the Pope. Then they shook hands to make the deal official.

They went to a remote village in North America. There they met Roaming Bull, the Native American the Pope was talking about. The devil asked him, "Do you like eggs?” The Native American replied, "Yes."

Fifty years passed. Everyone is still alive and have forgotten about the deal; however, the devil still remembered the deal. He went back to the village and greeted the Native American, saying, "How.” Roaming Bull replied, "Scrambled."


NMLS #167100

CA DRE #1330173


4811 Chippendale Drive, Suite 101

Sacramento, CA 95841

P: (916) 338-3232

F: (916) 338-2328


NMLS #103430

CA DRE #829677