December 30, 2019

MORTGAGE STUFF

Volume 19, Issue 9



C-Loans Client Newsletter

You are receiving this letter because you are a commercial mortgage broker client of either Blackburne & Sons or C-Loans, Inc. Removal instructions are below. Today we’ll discuss how to finance IRA’s that wish to buy real estate. We also have lots of cute, clean jokes, some funny pics, and a terrific Christmas video involving a cute puppy and the Budweiser Clydesdales.

Joke Du Jour

Jack Benny and George Burns (super-famous old comedians) met as young performers on the vaudeville circuit and remained friends for life. One day at lunch, Benny wrestled with the problem of whether or not to butter his bread. "I like butter on my bread," he said. "But my diet strictly forbids butter. Maybe I should call Mary and ask her what to do."

"Jack," Burns said, "don't be ridiculous. You're a grown man. You should be able to decide, without your wife's help, whether or not to butter your own bread.” "You're right," Benny said. "I'll just have the butter, that's all.” When the waiter arrived with the check, Burns pointed to Benny and said, "He's paying.” "What?" Benny said. "Why should I have to pay the whole bill?” "Because if you don't," Burns said, "I'll tell Mary about the butter.”

Forgetfulness Joke

Three sisters, ages 92, 94 and 96, live in a house together. One night the 96-year-old draws a bath. She puts her foot in and pauses. She yells to the other sisters, "Was I getting in or out of the bath?” The 94-year-old yells back, "I don't know. I'll come up and see." She starts up the stairs and pauses "Was I going up the stairs or down?” The 92-year-old is sitting at the kitchen table having tea listening to her sisters, she shakes her head and says, "I sure hope I never get that forgetful, knock on wood..." She then yells, "I'll come up and help both of you as soon as I see who's at the door.”

Poor Santa Joke

What do you call a bankrupt Santa?

Saint Nickel-less…

Got a Slightly Flawed Commercial Loan? Call Blackburne & Sons

Click HERE to Apply Now!

Blackburne & Sons continues to seek first mortgages between $100,000 to $2 million on standing commercial properties nationwide. We particularly like Gentlemen’s Clubs. One unusual loan product that we offer is our blanket loan against a portfolio of rental homes. We will also hypothecate notes and buy commercial loans at a discount. We also make non-owner-occupied, business purpose, residential loans in many states. Please be sure to bookmark our commercial mortgage rate sheet right now.

Call or email your favorite loan representative to email:



City Official Joke

Q: What do you call the horse the runs the city?

A: The mare.

Q: What do you call an Eskimo cow?

A: An Eskimoo!

How C-Loans Actually Works

Think of C-Loans.com as a giant filter. We start with 750 participating commercial lenders. Every time you enter more information into the application - loan amount, property type, loan type, state, credit - dozens of lenders are filtered out. Upon completion, you are left with a list of 20 to 30 perfect lenders. You put a check mark next to six lenders at a time and press submit. Soon you are receiving quotes and offers. No good offers? Come back and submit to six more lenders, then six more, and so on. And C-Loans.com is free!

Racing Joke

Her: What do you do?

Me: I race cars. 

Her: Do you win many races? 

Me: Not really. The cars are much faster.

Business Purpose Rental Home Loans in Most States

Click HERE to Apply Now!

Please pay special attention to the following: Unlike other hard money brokers, Blackburne & Sons Realty Capital Corporation makes home loans with a 15-year term (30-year amortization), and there is NO prepayment penalty. Our competitors make just three-year or five-year bridge loans. Our loans are clearly better because you may want to hold the property. These loans are sometimes known as buy-to-rent loans.

Historically, Blackburne & Sons was mostly a commercial lender. This has now changed. We are aggressively aggressively seeking non-owner occupied home loans. We have already closed loans in the following states, and our attorney can quickly research your state to verify that we can lend there. Unfortunately, in a handful of states, an NMLS license is not enough.

What about YOUR state? If you have a real-life deal, we’ll hire our attorney to quickly research its availability.

The property has to be non-owner occupied, and the purpose of the loan must be for business. Remember, the nice thing about business purpose home loans from Blackburne & Sons is that our loans have a 30-year amortization, a 15-year term, and no prepayment penalty.

Call or click on your favorite loan representative to email:

Vampire Joke

Patient: Doctor I think I've been bitten by a vampire.

Doctor: Drink this water.

Patient: Will this help me?

Doctor: No, but I'll be able to see any leaks.

Starboard Joke

A young man who wants to see the world signs on to a steamship to be trained as a helmsman. He masters the classroom instruction, then starts his practical training on the wheel of the vessel. In his first lesson, the mate gives him a heading, and the young fellow holds to it. Then the mate orders, "Come starboard.” Pleased at knowing immediately which way starboard is, the young man leaves the helm and walks over to his instructor.  The kindly old mate, with a chuckle, politely asks, "Could you bring the ship with you?”

Get Both Courses For Just $849

Save $249

Rocket Joke

A couple of birds were watching a rocket take off from Kennedy Space Center. "Wow," said one, "look how fast he flies.” The other replied, "You'd fly fast too if your tail was on fire.”

- Today's Training Lesson -

Non-Recourse Loans For Your IRA To Buy Property

Did you know that you can buy real estate - rental homes, apartment buildings, and commercial buildings - using your IRA? You can even use leverage; i.e., your IRA can obtain a mortgage to buy the property. The only thing is that the loan must be a non-recourse mortgage. You cannot personally guaranty the loan.

Why? The personal guaranty of a very high-net-worth individual, in the eyes of the IRS, makes the loan much less risky to the bank. Therefore, in theory, you could negotiate a much lower interest rate on the loan. This lower interest rate benefits the IRA, which would be an unlawful contribution to the IRA.

Before the Great Recession, banks made lots of non-recourse loans; but after the tremendous drubbing taken by the banks during the slump, Federal regulators have put the kibosh on almost all non-recourse loans from banks. Therefore, how can you now get a non-recourse loan for your IRA to buy property? The answer is private lenders, like  Blackburne & Sons.

How To Generate Commercial Leads Like Turning On a Spigot

I just completed updating in 2019 my popular video course, “How to Market for Commercial Loans.” I have been marketing for commercial loans for almost 40 years. I have wasted well over $175,000 on marketing campaigns that were complete busts. Direct mail. Postcards. Classified ads. Magazine ads. Google ads. Complete busts. Here is what works.

Business Book Joke

I'd been working on my business degree for about a year when I finally got to take a popular finance course. I went to the bookstore to buy the text and was shocked to find out that it would cost me $96. I asked how much it was worth if I sold it back at the end of the semester. 

"You'll get $24," said the clerk. "This is insane," I protested as I wrote out the check. "I know," replied the clerk sympathetically. "I've always thought that a person who buys a book for $96 and then sells it back for $24 should fail the course."

Have You Been Screwed Out of a Big Loan Fee Yet?

Whenever someone boasts of being a good horseman, I always ask him, “Have you ever been thrown?” The correct answer is, “Many, many times”. There is an old saying, “If you ain’t been thrown, you ain't ridden very much.” The same is unfortunately true of commercial mortgage brokerage. You will screwed out of a loan fee of $10,000 or more at least twice per year for your entire career. Now I am NOT talking about the borrower closing the loan and not paying you. That rarely happens. What these dastardly borrowers do is lie to you or cancel on you. You would be a flipping idiot not to pay a lousy $199 for my ninety-minute video training course, Fee Collection For Commercial Mortgage Brokers. It includes my famous fee agreement. Go ahead and ignore this section. You will cry, I absolutely guarantee you.

Now available online!

Last Night Joke

I don’t remember much from last night; but the fact I needed sunglasses to open the refrigerator door tells me it was awesome.

This Weekend Joke

Whenever someone asks what I did this weekend, I squint and ask, “Why, what did you hear?”

Arguing Joke

I hate when a couple is arguing in public, and I missed the beginning. I don’t know whose side I’m on.

Still Can’t Find the Right Commercial Lender?

Try CommercialMortgage.com. This free commercial mortgage portal has almost 4,000 commercial lenders in its databank. None of these commercial lenders appear on C-Loans.

Sleep Joke

I finally got eight hours of sleep. It took me three nights; but whatever…

How To Earn Huge Referral Fees

Please click here after viewing the video.

Donut Joke

Why did the donut visit the dentist?

To get a new filling.

Video - Latest Budweiser Clydesdales Commercial

Get Four Free Training Courses

Are you desperate to learn commercial real estate finance, but you’re as poor as a church mouse? Get four training courses for free.

Final Funny - An Oldie But Goodie

Cletus is passing by Billy Bob's hay barn one day when, through a gap in the door, he sees Billy Bob doing a striptease in front of an old John Deere tractor. Butt clenched, he performs a slow pirouette, and gently slides off the right strap of his overalls, followed by the left. He then hunches his shoulders forward and in a classic striptease move, lets his overalls fall down to his hips, revealing a torn and frayed plaid shirt. Then, grabbing both sides of his shirt, he rips it apart to reveal his stained T-shirt underneath. With a final flourish, he tears the T-shirt from his body, and hurls his baseball cap onto a pile of hay.

Having seen enough, Cletus rushes in and says, "What in the world are ya' doing, Billy Bob?” "Good grief, Cletus, ya scared the bejeebers out of me," says an obviously embarrassed Billy Bob. "But me 'n the wife been havin' trouble lately in the bedroom d'partment, and the therapist suggested I do something sexy to a tractor."

NMLS #167100

CA DRE #1330173

4811 Chippendale Drive, Suite 101

Sacramento, CA 95841

P: (916) 338-3232

F: (916) 338-2328

NMLS #103430

CA DRE #829677