C-LOANS BANKER LETTER
This letter is intended only for commercial mortgage loan officers working for banks and hard money lenders. Today we'll provide a quick refresher course on the importance of the CV. And, of course, because this is C-Loans (the jokesters), we have lots of cute, clean jokes, some funny pics, and a Saturday Night Live skit that will greatly impress you.
Joke Du Jour - OMGoodness, So Funny!
Our teacher asked what my favorite animal was, and I said, "Fried chicken." She said I wasn't funny, but she couldn't have been right, because everyone else laughed. My parents told me to always tell the truth. I did. Fried chicken is my favorite animal. I told my dad what happened, and he said my teacher was probably a member of PETA. He said they love animals very much. I do, too. Especially chicken, pork and beef. Anyway, my teacher sent me to the principal's office. I told him what happened, and he laughed, too. Then he told me not to do it again. The next day in class my teacher asked me what my favorite live animal was. I told her it was chicken. She asked me why, so I told her it was because you could make them into fried chicken. She sent me back to the principal's office. He laughed and told me not to do it again. I don't understand. My parents taught me to be honest, but my teacher doesn’t like it when I am. Today, my teacher asked me to tell her what famous military person I admired most. I told her, "Colonel Sanders." Guess where the hell I am now…
What Is It About Boxes?
Why CommercialMortgage.com Really Is Free For Banks To Join
Stop! This has nothing to do with joining C-Loans.com. This is a totally different portal with totally different rules.
You can list your bank on CommercialMortgage.com in just four minutes for free. There is no set-up charge. There is no monthly fee. You don't even owe a fee if you close a deal. Unlike C-Loans.com, your listing is truly 100% free.
Your bank could surely stand to make a few more commercial loans. You would be absolutely nuts (or incredibly lazy) not to add your bank to this very active new portal (1,100 commercial loan app's in the first three weeks). Please click here to add your bank to CommercialMortgage.com.
Are you confused as to how C-Loans, Inc. could afford to spend $250,000 creating a new commercial mortgage portal that competes against its own flagship site, C-Loans.com? How can we afford to provide this site for free to both the borrowers and bankers?
The Blackburne family of commercial mortgage companies (est. 1980) also includes Blackburne & Sons Realty Capital Corporation. This hard money commercial mortgage company makes 15 year commercial loans nationwide using the funds of our 1,500 private investors. We earn a 2% loan servicing fee (200 bps!) on these loans, so if a loan stays outstanding for 15 years, we earn 33 points, including our typical 3-point origination fee. That's $330,000 in gross profit on a hard money loan of just $1 million.
By creating this free new portal, we get to look at every commercial loan that enters CommercialMortgage.com. Picture us as a grizzly bear, knee deep in the river, during salmon spawning season. So take your free listing on CommercialMortgage.com and run. Our new portal really is 100% free to your bank.
Patient: "Doctor, my wife thinks I'm crazy because I like sausages."
Psychiatrist: "Nonsense! I like sausages too."
Patient: "Good, you should come and see my collection. I've got hundreds of them."
Ever Wonder What a C-Loans Application Looks Like?
Here's a sample commercial loan application.
Big Drop Joke
"A tech blogger in California used a weather balloon to drop an iPhone from the edge of space, at 100,000 feet in the air, to see what would happen — and still, somehow, the phone landed in the guy’s toilet." -- Jimmy Fallon
Please Refer Your Commercial Loan Turndowns to Either CommercialMortgage.com or C-Loans.com
If you turn down a commercial real estate loan this week, would you kindly refer the borrower to CommercialMortgage.com (easier to remember) or C-Loans.com? CommercialMortgage.com better be easy to remember. We paid $100,000 just for that domain name, CommercialMortgage.com. If none of our 4,000 different commercial lenders can help him, the deal probably isn't do-able. Thanks so much!
Fishing Bait Joke
I went fishing this morning. After a short time I ran out of worms. Then I saw a cottonmouth with a frog in his mouth. Frogs are good bass bait. Knowing the snake couldn't bite me with the frog in his mouth, I grabbed him right behind the head, took the frog, and put it in my bait bucket. Now the dilemma was how to release the snake without getting bit. So I grabbed my bottle of Jack Daniels and poured a little whiskey in its mouth. His eyes rolled back, he went limp. I released him into the lake without incident and carried on fishing using the frog. A little later, I felt a nudge on my foot. There was that same snake, with two frogs in his mouth. Life is good in the South.
What is a CV?
CV is short for curriculum vitae, which is Latin for "course of one's life." Google defines it as, “a short account of one's career and qualifications prepared typically by an applicant for a position.” Gee, George, that just sounds like a fancy way of saying, "resume." That's right.
In commercial real estate construction lending, however, a CV has a special meaning. A CV includes a summary of all the borrower's development experience, construction experience, and commercial property management experience. For example, I recently worked on a large hotel construction loan, and the fact that the developer already owned and managed an existing hotel was a huge plus in the developer's favor.
When I screen large commercial construction loans, I ask brokers and developers three questions:
- What is the net worth of the developer? Remember, the net worth of the borrower must equal or exceed the loan amount.
- How much equity - skin in the game - does the developer have in the deal? Historically the developer needs to contribute at least 20% of the total cost of the project. In the wake of the Great Recession, at a time when lenders are still nervous, 25% to 35% is more often required.
- What are the highlights of the developer's CV that would give me confidence in the sponsor's development, construction, and property management experience in developing a project of this size.
- I also inquire as to whether or not the developer has an architect's rendering of the project. Without one, I know that the developer lacks sufficient experience.
As a lender, should you join C-Loans.com or the faster, easier portal, CommercialMortgage.com? It depends. If you'd like to close an extra couple of commercial loans every year, you should probably just join CommercialMortgage.com. If you are serious about expanding your commercial lending division, however, you should definitely join C-Loans.com. You will get far more applications
"Every day, we get another revelation about Clinton from WikiLeaks. Any more, and we’re going to need WikiDepends." -- Stephen Colbert
Free Commercial Mortgage Marketing Course
You've got a buddy who works as a commercial loan officer at a neighboring bank, right? We'll trade you the contents of one of his or her business cards for a free commercial mortgage marketing course. We sell this popular course separately on C-Loans.com for $199. Learn how to turn on a flow of SBA and conventional commercial mortgage leads as easily as turning on a spigot.
Important note: This has nothing to do with joining C-Loans as a lender. For more information, please click here.
Muncher of Dragons
Bankers: Get 200 Free SBA Loan Applications
Does your bank want to close more SBA loans? C-Loans.com will give you two hundred SBA loan leads for free, deals that are perfect for your bank. These loans will be the right size. They will be located only in your favorite counties of your favorite states, and these SBA loans leads will be secured by just the type of commercial real estate that you prefer - office buildings, industrial buildings, etc.
Please click here for more information about how to receive 200 free SBA loan applications. The above offer is made only to commercial banks and credit unions.
What if you don't work for a bank or credit union, but your commercial mortgage company services more than $20 million in commercial real estate loans? We have a fine program for you too. Please call Mick Carlson at (574) 855-6292 or click here for more details.
Happy Ending Joke
Once upon a time, a handsome prince asked a beautiful princess, "Will you marry me?" The Princess said, "No!" And the Prince lived happily ever after and rode motorcycles and went fishing and hunting and played golf and dated women half his age and drank beer and scotch and had tons of money in the bank and left the toilet seat up. The End.
Join C-Loans For a Flat Fee
Most banks that join C-Loans take advantage of our free guaranteed success program; but a bank can now join C-Loans, get listed on our Suggested Lender Lists, and receive tons of commercial mortgage loan applications for a small monthly fee:
For banks with less than $2 billion in assets, the cost is just $250 per month, and up to three loan officers can receive our SBA and commercial real estate loan leads.
For banks with more than $2 billion in assets and less than $7 billion in assets, the cost is just $350 per month, and up to four loan officers can receive our SBA and commercial real estate loan leads.
For banks with more than $7 billion in assets and less than $15 billion in assets, the cost is just $500 per month, and up to five loan officers can receive our SBA and commercial real estate loan leads.
For banks with more than $15 billion in assets, the cost is just $1,000 per month, and up to ten loan officers can receive our SBA and commercial real estate loan leads.
Important note: In all of these cases, the bank owes nothing more, even if it closes a loan.
To join C-Loans using our new flat-fee program, please email Mick Carlson, General Manager, or call him at 574-855-6292.
But, once again, most banks joining C-Loans, take advantage of our free guaranteed success program, where the bank only pays C-Loans, Inc. a software licensing fee of 0.375 points (just 25 bps. on deals over $5MM) if it closes a commercial loan from C-Loans. Most banks simply increase their normal loan origination fee from 1.0 point to 1.375 points to cover the cost of using our software and receiving our leads. This makes C-Loans effectively free to the bank.
To join using our guaranteed success program - effectively free to the bank - simply use this super-easy form to join C-Loans as a lender.
Q: What do you call a fat vampire slayer?
Referring Your Turndowns to C-Loans.com (or CommercialMortgage.com) Gives Your Customers a Good Place to Look
If you have to turn down a bank customer's request for a commercial loan, it will help him if you could suggest a place for him to look elsewhere. With 750 different commercial real estate lenders participating on C-Loans.com, if your customer can't qualify for a commercial mortgage from us, he probably won't qualify anywhere. Thank you so much!
"Samsung announced recently that people who turn in their recalled Galaxy Note 7 phones will be eligible for a free Note 8 next year when it debuts. Said customers, 'I'm not falling for it. I've been burned by Samsung before.'" -- Seth Meyers
How To Close Investor Commercial Loans When Your Loan Committee Won't Exceed 62% LTV
Suppose one of your better bank customers wants to buy a commercial building, not for his company, but rather just for investment. The deal cash flows perfectly at 75% LTV, but your nervous Loan Committee cuts the deal back to just 62% LTV. "Gosh, I have been a good bank customer for decades. I thought my own bank would take better care of me."
The sister company of C-Loans, Blackburne & Sons, raises small balance JV equity for such deals, and we'll raise as little as $100,000. We'll add our equity to your customer's down payment to create a down payment large enough to satisfy your Loan Committee.
Got a potential deal? Please complete this simple preferred equity application or call Angela Vannucci at 916-338-3232.
He's a Rebel, and He Never Does What He Should
"Sources say that Trump is already finalizing his cabinet. Rudy Giuliani would be Attorney General, Newt Gingrich would be Secretary of State, and Chris Christie would be the Wall." -- Jimmy Fallon
Would You Mind a $21,250 Referral Fee?
We once paid a $21,250 referral fee to a website owner named Alan Dunn of Spydercube.com for referring us a $17 million deal. Not long ago we paid our friends at RealWebFunds.com an $11,000 referral fee.
We've made it super-easy to refer us commercial loans and to receive big referral fees. Please click here for details.
Video - Arianna Grande Impersonations
In this SNL skit, about three minutes into the video, Arianna Grande impersonates seven female vocalists and nails it.
Airborne School Joke
After enlisting in the 82nd Airborne Division, I eagerly asked my recruiter what I could expect from jump training. "Well," he said, "it's three weeks long." "What else?" I asked. "The first week they separate the men from the boys," he said. "The second week, they separate the men from the fools." "And the third week?" I asked. "The third week, the fools jump."
This is old man Blackburne (George III): In 1975, I went through Airborne School. On our second jump, my roommate, Steve Bitner, jumped out of the plane too soon after I had jumped. In those days, parachutes were huge, and my canvas took all of the nearby air away from him. His chute failed to open, and he found himself walking on top of my parachute at just 1,800 feet off the ground. Even though the situation was gravely dangerous - had our chutes become entangled we both would have died - I found myself laughing and yelling, "Hey Bitner, get off my chute!" Steve was able to gather up his chute, waddle to the edge of my chute, toss his chute into the air, and then jump off. Blessedly his chute finally opened, and we both landed safely. Yikes!
One Final Pathetic Plea
If you won't let us pay you a referral fee, won't you please-please refer your commercial mortgage turndowns to C-Loans.com or to CommercialMortgage.com? Thanks!
A long black hearse was followed by a second long black hearse about 50 feet behind the first one. Behind the second hearse was a solitary woman walking a pit bull on a leash. Behind her, a short distance back, were about 200 women walking single file. A woman, walking out of a nearby pharmacy, was so curious that she respectfully approached the woman walking the dog and said, "I am so sorry for your loss, and I know now is a bad time to disturb you, but I have never seen a funeral like this. Whose funeral is it?" "My husband's," replied the widow. "What happened to him?" asked the shopper. The widow replied, "My dog attacked and killed him." The shopper inquired further, "Well, who is in the second hearse?" The widow answered, "My mother-in-law. She was trying to help my husband, when the dog turned on her." A poignant and thoughtful moment of silence passed between the two women. "Can I borrow the dog?" asked the shopper. "Get in line," replied the widow.