C-LOANS BANKER LETTER
This letter is intended only for commercial mortgage loan officers working for banks and hard money lenders. Today we'll talk about how your bank can get a free* listing on our brand new portal, CommercialMortgage.com. And, of course, because this is C-Loans (the jokesters), we have lots of cute, clean jokes, some funny pics, and a hilarious Saturday Night Live spoof of the Clinton-Trump debate.
*Completely free. You don't even owe us a fee if you close a deal.
Joke Du Jour
A seven-year-old boy is sitting at the dinner table with his parents. Suddenly he announces, "Me and Janie next door are gonna get married!" "Oh?" says the mother, amused. "And how old is Janie?" "Six," replies the boy. "Well," says the father, "what are you going to do for money?" "I get 5 dollars a week allowance," says the son, "and Janie gets 2. We figured that if we put them together, we'll be okay." "I see," says the father. "But what are you going to do if you have any children?" "Well," says the boy, "so far we've been lucky."
I'm Not Listening
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Get a Free Listing on CommercialMortgage.com
Three weeks ago, at the Western States CREF Conference in Las Vegas, C-Loans, Inc. released its newest commercial real estate finance portal, CommercialMortgage.com. This new portal is a smash hit. Since opening the site less than a month ago, users have already entered over 1,100 commercial loan applications!
Do you need a few more commercial loan applications? You can list your bank on CommercialMortgage.com in just four minutes for free. There is no set-up charge. There is no monthly fee. You don't even owe a fee if you close a deal. Your listing is truly 100% free. Add your bank to CommercialMortgage.com here.
Bob Dylan Joke
"Bob Dylan was awarded the Nobel Prize for literature today. Dylan was like, 'This is the greatest honor I've ever received.' Or he might have said, 'Misses gravy's on her ivory steed.' It's impossible to tell.” -- Seth Meyers (Confused? Bob Dylan mumbles horribly.)
Ever Wonder What a C-Loans Application Looks Like?
Here's a sample commercial loan application.
Taxation With Representation Isn't So Hot Either
Please Refer Your Commercial Loan Turndowns to Either CommercialMortgage.com or C-Loans.com
If you turn down a commercial real estate loan this week, would you kindly refer the borrower to CommercialMortgage.com (easier to remember) or C-Loans.com? CommercialMortgage.com better be easy to remember. We paid $100,000 just for that domain name, CommercialMortgage.com. If none of our 4,000 different commercial lenders can help him, the deal probably isn't do-able. Thanks so much!
Stop and Frisk Joke
"The NYPD is apparently teaching its officers how to be more polite. It's true. The last time I got frisked, the cop was like, 'Have you lost weight?'” -- Jimmy Fallon
Difference Between CommercialMortgage.com
"I'm confused, George. Why would you build a new commercial mortgage portal to compete with C-Loans.com? Don't you own both of these portals?"
C-Loans, Inc. (I'm the 100% stockholder) owns both C-Loans.com and CommercialMortgage.com. The two portals are designed to complement each other. Think of CommercialMortgage.com ("CMDC") as C-Loans Lite.
CMDC is much easier to use. We ask the user just six quick questions, and then we give him a list of 30 suitable commercial lenders. Because all the questions can be answered using a drop-down menu, the site works great on a smart phone. It's basically an app.
C-Loans.com is the site that is wildly popular on Google. Our flagship site has several hundred pages of superb content. A new mortgage broker can learn the entire profession of commercial real estate finance by studying its pages, including structured finance and such advanced ratios as the debt yield ratio.
C-Loans users can dial down to the county level to find the best commercial lender for their deal, and they can actually submit their commercial loan applications to lenders online.
As a lender, should you join C-Loans.com or the faster, easier portal, CommercialMortgage.com? It depends. If you'd like to close an extra couple of commercial loans every year, you should probably just join CommercialMortgage.com. If you are serious about expanding your commercial lending division, however, you should definitely join C-Loans.com. You will get far more applications
E. Coli Joke
"A woman in Oregon who was hospitalized for E. Coli after eating Chipotle is suing the company for free Chipotle. It’s all part of Oregon’s Right to Die Law." -- Conan O'Brien
Free Commercial Mortgage Marketing Course
You've got a buddy who works as a commercial loan officer at a neighboring bank, right? We'll trade you the contents of one of his or her business cards for a free commercial mortgage marketing course. We sell this popular course separately on C-Loans.com for $199. Learn how to turn on a flow of SBA and conventional commercial mortgage leads as easily as turning on a spigot.
Important note: This has nothing to do with joining C-Loans as a lender. For more information, please click here.
I Am Buzzing
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Bankers: Get 200 Free SBA Loan Applications
Does your bank want to close more SBA loans? C-Loans.com will give you two hundred SBA loan leads for free, deals that are perfect for your bank. These loans will be the right size. They will be located only in your favorite counties of your favorite states, and these SBA loans leads will be secured by just the type of commercial real estate that you prefer - office buildings, industrial buildings, etc.
Please click here for more information about how to receive 200 free SBA loan applications. The above offer is made only to commercial banks and credit unions.
What if you don't work for a bank or credit union, but your commercial mortgage company services more than $20 million in commercial real estate loans? We have a fine program for you too. Please call Mick Carlson at (574) 855-6292 or click here for more details.
A Naval officer was cutting through the crew's quarters of his ship one day and happened upon a sailor reading a magazine with his feet up on the small table in front of him. "Sailor! Do you put your feet up on the furniture at home?" the officer demanded. "No, sir, but we don't land airplanes on the roof either."
Join C-Loans For a Flat Fee
Most banks that join C-Loans take advantage of our free guaranteed success program; but a bank can now join C-Loans, get listed on our Suggested Lender Lists, and receive tons of commercial mortgage loan applications for a small monthly fee:
For banks with less than $2 billion in assets, the cost is just $250 per month, and up to three loan officers can receive our SBA and commercial real estate loan leads.
For banks with more than $2 billion in assets and less than $7 billion in assets, the cost is just $350 per month, and up to four loan officers can receive our SBA and commercial real estate loan leads.
For banks with more than $7 billion in assets and less than $15 billion in assets, the cost is just $500 per month, and up to five loan officers can receive our SBA and commercial real estate loan leads.
For banks with more than $15 billion in assets, the cost is just $1,000 per month, and up to ten loan officers can receive our SBA and commercial real estate loan leads.
Important note: In all of these cases, the bank owes nothing more, even if it closes a loan.
To join C-Loans using our new flat-fee program, please email Mick Carlson, General Manager, or call him at 574-855-6292.
But, once again, most banks joining C-Loans, take advantage of our free guaranteed success program, where the bank only pays C-Loans, Inc. a software licensing fee of 0.375 points (just 25 bps. on deals over $5MM) if it closes a commercial loan from C-Loans. Most banks simply increase their normal loan origination fee from 1.0 point to 1.375 points to cover the cost of using our software and receiving our leads. This makes C-Loans effectively free to the bank.
To join using our guaranteed success program - effectively free to the bank - simply use this super-easy form to join C-Loans as a lender.
"I've never been to a hotel with a rotating restaurant on top, but one time I took my girlfriend to a merry-go-round, and I gave her a burrito." -- Mitch Hedberg
Referring Your Turndowns to C-Loans.com (or CommercialMortgage.com) Gives Your Customers a Good Place to Look
If you have to turn down a bank customer's request for a commercial loan, it will help him if you could suggest a place for him to look elsewhere. With 750 different commercial real estate lenders participating on C-Loans.com, if your customer can't qualify for a commercial mortgage from us, he probably won't qualify anywhere. Thank you so much!
Q: What do you call a peanut in a spacesuit?
A: An astronut!
How To Close Investor Commercial Loans When Your Loan Committee Won't Exceed 62% LTV
Suppose one of your better bank customers wants to buy a commercial building, not for his company, but rather just for investment. The deal cash flows perfectly at 75% LTV, but your nervous Loan Committee cuts the deal back to just 62% LTV. "Gosh, I have been a good bank customer for decades. I thought my own bank would take better care of me."
The sister company of C-Loans, Blackburne & Sons, raises small balance JV equity for such deals, and we'll raise as little as $100,000. We'll add our equity to your customer's down payment to create a down payment large enough to satisfy your Loan Committee.
Got a potential deal? Please complete this simple preferred equity application or call Angela Vannucci at 916-338-3232.
He Can Now Check "Petting an Alligator" Off of His Bucket List
Please insert Alligator Attack Pic here
"It’s come out that Hillary Clinton is having a hard time connecting with millennial voters. So now she’s saying that last week’s coughing spell was actually due to a massive bong hit." -- Conan O'Brien
Would You Mind a $21,250 Referral Fee?
We once paid a $21,250 referral fee to a website owner named Alan Dunn of Spydercube.com for referring us a $17 million deal. Not long ago we paid our friends at RealWebFunds.com an $11,000 referral fee.
We've made it super-easy to refer us commercial loans and to receive big referral fees. Please click here for details.
Video - SNL Lampoons Clinton and Trump
This is one of the funniest videos I've seen in awhile.
"In California, two women have been arrested for holding a group of men hostage and making them work for several months on a marijuana farm. The men said they wanted to escape, but they never got around to it." -- Conan O'Brien
One Final Pathetic Plea
If you won't let us pay you a referral fee, won't you please-please refer your commercial mortgage turndowns to C-Loans.com or to CommercialMortgage.com? Thanks!
If you can keep your head when all about you are losing theirs... you're probably the executioner.