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Volume 7: Issue 8 | Date: August 12, 2019

This letter is intended only for commercial real estate loan officers working for banks, credit unions, conduits, and hard money lenders. Today we’ll discuss the frightening reality that China and Russia are getting ready to go to war against us. In a recent Pentagon war planning simulation against China and Russia, the U.S. got its butt handed to it. We also have lots of cute, clean jokes, some funny pics, and a video of a really cool dad using a laundry basket to thrill his daughter.

Hey guys, if we make you chuckle today, won't you please-please-please refer a turndown this week to CommercialMortgage.com? Seriously, guys, this searchable portal is free, and it contains thousands of commercial lenders. You really are doing them a favor.


Joke Du Jour

After putting her children to bed, a mother changed into old slacks and a droopy blouse and proceeded to wash her hair. She then carefully applied cold cream all over her face except her eyes, which she outlined with a different cream. She then proceeded to put her hair in high rollers. As she heard the children getting more and more rambunctious, her patience grew thin. At last she threw a towel around her head and stormed into their room, putting them back to bed with stern warnings. As she left the room, she heard her three-year-old say with a trembling voice, "Who was that?”


Why Aren't You Personally Investing in Our First Trust Deeds?

Blackburne & Sons Realty Capital Corporation has been selling 7% to 12% first trust deed investments for almost forty years. That’s longer than a great many banks have been in business.

Do you know a trust deed investor or an accredited investor who should be investing in first trust deeds? We’ll pay you a $250 referral fee the first time he invests. Go ahead and refer three or four different guys. Refer an investor here.


Free Commercial Leads

Handled properly, our carefully-filtered commercial leads cost your bank nothing. Simply bump your normal loan fee quote by 37.5 bps. Banks, credit unions, CMBS lenders, and life company correspondents pay just 25 bps. on loans over $5MM. 


First Airplane Ride Joke

I was six years old when my daddy took me for my first airplane ride. We boarded the plane and I got the window seat. After a short while, I turned to daddy and exclaimed, "Daddy! We're so high up all the cars on the freeway down there look like ants." Daddy moved over and looked out the window. After a moment he smiled and said, "Those are ants, my dear. We haven't taken off yet."


- Today's Observation -

China & Russia Are Preparing to Attack Us

The Winds of War are blowing. I am convinced that China and Russia are preparing for another World War that may begin in as short as four years. "Wait a minute, George. If we had another World War, the nuclear exchange would exterminate life on earth."

No, neither side will use nukes, just like neither side used poison gas during World War II. Even with the vengeful Russians (they were really pissed) closing in on Berlin, the Germans didn't use poison gas.

I suspect that World War III will be fought instead with smart hypersonic missiles and space-based weapons. Imagine waking up to find smart hypersonic missiles slamming into our missile manufacturing plants, our chip manufacturing facilities (Intel and Micron); into the launchpads and engineering buildings of Space X (slows down our ability to launch new satellites); into our power plants and dams; into our oil refining plants; into the engineering buildings containing our brightest technological minds at Google, Microsoft and Intel; and into every one of our aircraft carriers.

"Generals always fight the last war." Cavalry worked well during the Civil War and the Crimean War, so old French, British, and Russian generals sent their cavalry against emplaced German machine guns in World War I. British dreadnoughts (battleships) won the big sea battle at Jutland during World War I, so the old U.S. admirals maintained a dozen battleships in 1941, many of which were easily sunk during the war by dive bombers taking off from Japanese aircraft carriers.

Today America projects its might in the Pacific Ocean with aircraft carriers, but in the coming war, we could easily lose most of our carriers in the first two days, as they are easily spotted from space by Russian and Chinese spy satellites. Smart hypersonic missiles can be directed from space right down their "smokestacks”.

President Trump had it right when he created our new Space Force two years ago. If we can keep the Chinese and Russians blind in space, perhaps war can be discouraged.

It seems to me that the behavior of China recently is that of a belligerent who thinks that he can win. Feel the winds.

Click here for free training in commercial real estate finance.


Boat Captain Joke

A local laboratory employed a licensed boat captain to man its research vessel.  Reportedly, the captain couldn't swim.  A newcomer, learning of this, approached him about it.  "Is it true?" the newcomer asked incredulously. "You, a boat captain, can't swim?”  "No I can't," the captain replied. "Can pilots fly?”


Free Commercial Loan Leads

C-Loans.com, is our original portal. C-Loans.com has been phenomenally successful, boasting over 1,000 commercial loan closings totaling over $1 billion. We will list banks on C-Loans.com for free, and they will receive free leads by email, as well as calls and emails directly from borrowers.

If the bank closes a commercial loan, however, the bank owes to C-Loans.com a software licensing fee of between 25 to 50 bps (usually 37.5 bps.) In real life, all of our banks simply bump their normal loan fee from 1.0 points to 1.375 points, so C-Loans.com effectively costs the bank nothingPlease click here to get listed on C-Loans for free. (You must be a bona fide direct commercial lender servicing at least $20 million in commercial loans.)


Obituary Joke

One morning at our small-town newspaper office, one of the editors was struggling to write a headline for the obituary of a woman who was noted for little besides a fondness for crossword puzzles.  "What am I supposed to write?" the editor whined. "She liked puzzles?”  Just then one of our copy editors piped up, "How about, 'Crossword fan is now six down.’"


Ever Wonder What a C-Loans Application Looks Like?

Here's a sample loan application.


Egg Joke

Little Johnny walked into his classroom with a fried egg on his head.  The teacher asked, "Why do you have a fried egg on your head?”  Little Johnny responded, "Because a hard boiled egg rolls off.”


Get Four Training Courses for FREE

Are you desperate to learn commercial real estate finance, but you’re as poor as a church mouse? Get four training courses for free.


Suspense Joke

Q: How do you keep an idiot in suspense?


Won't You Please-Please-Please Refer Us Your Commercial Mortgage Turndowns?

If you have to turn down a commercial loan this week, you would really be helping your customer if you referred him to CommercialMortgage.com. The domain name is easy to remember.


Mystic Joke

An engineer, a physicist, a mathematician, and a mystic were asked to name the greatest invention of all times.  The engineer chose fire, which gave humanity power over matter.  The physicist chose the wheel, which gave humanity the power over space.  The mathematician chose the alphabet, which gave humanity power over symbols.  The mystic chose the thermos bottle.  "Why a thermos bottle?" the others asked.  "Because the thermos keeps hot liquids hot in winter and cold liquids cold in summer.”  “Yes… so what?”  "Think about it," said the mystic reverently. "That little bottle -- how does it know?”


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London Bus Joke

Heard on a London bus:  "When you exit this vehicle, please be sure to lower your head and watch your step.  If you fail to do so, please lower your voice and watch your language.  Thank you.” 


Would You Mind a $21,250 Referral Fee?

We once paid a $21,250 referral fee to a website owner named Alan Dunn for referring us a $17 million deal. Please click here for details.


Video - This Dad is the Absolute Best


FREE CRE Finance Training

From an Industry Veteran and Attorney

The C-Loans Blog: info.c-loans.com

Every week we publish one or two new blog articles that train commercial brokers in commercial real estate finance. We try to have fun with it, including lots of funny pics. If you want access to this FREE training, subscribe to George's blog by clicking the button below.


Final Funny

One day Al was driving to the lake for a swim when he noticed a man on the side of the highway dressed all in red.  “Who are you?” asked Al as he pulled up to the stranger.  “I’m the Man in Red and I’m very hungry,” said the man.   Reaching into his lunch sack, Al pulled out a sandwich, handed it to the man, then sped off down the road.  A few miles later, Al spotted another man, this time dressed all in yellow.   “What can I do for you?” asked Al.  “I’m the Man in Yellow and I’m very thirsty.”  Pulling out a can of soda, Al handed the Coke to the man , then resumed his journey. 

Anxious to get to the lake before sunset, Al put his foot to the pedal and roamed off down the road, only to spot yet another man, dressed all in blue, signaling for Al to stop.  “Don’t tell me!” said Al impatiently. “You’re the Man in Blue, right?”  ”That's right!” replied the man.  ”Well, what do you want?”  ”Driver’s license and registration, please.”

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Tom Blackburne

General Manager

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