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Volume 7: Issue 3 | Date: March 14, 2019

This letter is intended only for commercial real estate loan officers working for banks, credit unions, conduits, and hard money lenders. Today we’ll discuss how Blackburne & Sons can save your close commercial construction loans by brining in extra equity dollars to the table. We have lots of cute, clean jokes, some funny pics, and a funny video of some drunken goats.

Hey guys, if we make you chuckle today, won't you please-please-please refer a turndown this week to CommercialMortgage.com?


Joke Du Jour

My married friends have theme parties -- theme parties! And they want me, a single guy, to come and hang out. "Dude come over on Saturday, we're having a pirate party. We're all going to dress up like pirates. Doesn't matter to me -- I'm getting ‘kissed’ at the end of the night. I just wanna watch you try to score with a peg leg and an eye patch on.”


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It's free training in commercial real estate finance. And because it's old man Blackburne writing, you just know this blog is funny.

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Which Came First?


Cheap Commercial Mortgage Leads

This section should make you bridge lenders sit up and pay attention. There is no cheaper way for your hard money mortgage company to close more bridge loans than to buy leads and a listing on CommercialMortgage.com. You pay just $1,000 per year (not per month!), and the designated loan officer will receive, on average, one to five commercial leads per day. Each lead will be exactly what your company wants to see - the right loan type (bridge loan or construction loan, etc.), the right loan amount, the right property type (apartment building or office building, etc.), in the right state, and with the right credit score.

Click HERE for details.


Hello Joke

A man comes home from work early to find his wife in bed with three men. Completely shocked, he shouts, "Hello, Hello, Hello!” His wife complains, "What? No hello for me?”


Or You Can Get Commercial Loan Leads For Free!

It’s important that you guys don’t get confused here. C-Loans, Inc. owns TWO different commercial mortgage portals that actually compete against each other. I often joke that it is my dream is to own every horse in the Kentucky Derby. Haha!

We’ve already talked about CommercialMortgage.com (“CMDC”) above. CMDC is our latest portal, and it uses an advertising model. A bank pays $1,000 per year to be listed on CMDC and to receive leads, and if the bank closes a deal, the bank does NOT owe C-Loans, Inc. even one penny.

Our second portal, C-Loans.com, is our original portal. C-Loans.com has been phenomenally successful, boasting over 1,000 commercial loan closings totaling over $1 billion. We will list banks on C-Loans.com for free, and they will receive free leads by email, as well as calls and emails directly from borrowers.

If the bank closes a commercial loan, however, the bank owes to C-Loans.com a software licensing fee of between 25 to 50 bps (usually 37.5 bps.) In real life, all of our banks simply bump their normal loan fee from 1.0 points to 1.375 points, so C-Loans.com effectively costs the bank nothingPlease click here to get listed on C-Loans for free. (You must be a bona fide direct commercial lender servicing at least $20 million in commercial loans.)


Thomas Jefferson Joke

Look at Thomas Jefferson. The guy had illegitimate kids in the 1700's, and they caught him last year. Geesch, if you cheat on your wife and cover it up for 200 years, you're pretty much thinking you're home free.


- Today's Observation -

We'll Bring Equity to Your Developer's Construction Loan

Suppose one of your best developers brings you a construction loan request to build an industrial building. He can contribute 20% of the total cost, but because he got beat up during the Great Recession, he cannot contribute any more. Loan Committee likes the deal, but it wants the developer to contribute another 10% of the total cost.

Blackburne & Sons, our sister company, will bring in small amounts of equity into commercial construction deals that are just a little short of equity. 

Click HERE for the details.


Bachelorette Joke

I hate "The Bachelor” and "The Bachelorette.” You know why? 'Cause all them women don't represent. All them women are cute, prissy, soft-spoke, little prissy girls. I can't stand it. Women like that can get married anyway, that's no challenge. I want to see a show with loud, outspoken, bossy (w)itches. Women who are stalkers. Women who be following a man home, throwing a brick in his windshield. That's my new show. Call it, "Who Wants to Marry This (W)itch?” — Retha Jones


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It would be a lot easier to close your commercial deals if you actually knew the subject matter. Are you finally ready to learn the financial ratios and the advanced terminology of commercial real estate finance? Just $549.


Husband Joke

I accompanied my husband to get a haircut. While flipping through a magazine I found a hairstyle that would look good on me. I asked the receptionist if I could take the magazine next door to make a copy of the hairstyle photo. 

"Well, okay," she replied, "but leave some ID--a driver's license or credit card." 

"But my husband is here getting his hair cut," I explained. 

"Yeah... but we need something you'll come back for."


Won't You Please-Please-Please Refer Us Your Commercial Mortgage Turndowns?

If you have to turn down a commercial loan this week, you would really be helping your customer if you referred him to CommercialMortgage.com. There are over 3,000 commercial lenders listed on this commercial lender search engine.


Gay Marriage Joke

Here's how I feel about gay marriage. I don't understand why people care whether you marry a man or a woman. 'Cause if you've ever seen a couple over 65, it can be hard to tell who is who.


Ever Wonder What a C-Loans Application Looks Like?

Here's a sample loan application.


Dating Game Joke

You ever see "The Dating Game?" That's a weird game show. The prize on that show: Another contestant. Talk about cheap.


Would You Mind a $21,250 Referral Fee?

We once paid a $21,250 referral fee to a website owner named Alan Dunn for referring us a $17 million deal. Please click here for details.


Mom? Mom?! MOM!!!


Get Four Training Course for FREE

Are you desperate to learn commercial real estate finance, but you’re as poor as a church mouse? Get four training courses for free.


Video - The Party Must Have Been Fun

Okay, maybe I shouldn't have had that last drink.


Final Funny

There was a gentleman in the hospital bed next to me. Every limb was in a cast, and he was covered with bandages from head to toe. I said to him, "What do you do for a living?” He said, "I'm a former window washer.” I asked, "When did you give it up?” He replied, "Halfway down.”


FREE Commercial Loan Brokerage Training

From an Industry Veteran and Attorney

The C-Loans Blog: info.c-loans.com

Every week we publish one or two new blog articles that train commercial brokers in commercial real estate finance. We try to have fun with it, including lots of funny pics. If you want access to this FREE training, subscribe to George's blog by clicking the button below.



4811 Chippendale Drive

Suite 101

Sacramento, CA 95841

P: (574) 210-6686

F: (916) 338-2328

CA DRE #1330173

NMLS #167100


Tom Blackburne

General Manager

Have questions? Email me.

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