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Volume 7: Issue 1 | Date: January 8, 2019

This letter is intended only for commercial real estate loan officers working for banks, credit unions, conduits, and hard money lenders. Today we’ll discuss how bankers determine their commercial loan quotes. We have lots of cute, clean jokes, some funny pics, and a hilarious video of a guy trying to throw out his Christmas tree. If you do nothing else, guys, you’ve GOT to scroll down to the bottom and watch this funny video.

Hey guys, if we make you chuckle today, won't you please-please-please refer a turndown this week to CommercialMortgage.com?


Joke Du Jour

Oliver Purblicoff was teeing off from the men's tee. On his downswing, he realized that his wife, Maureen, was teeing up on the woman's tee directly in front of him. Unable to stop his swing, he nailed it, and hit her directly in the temple, killing her instantly. A few days later, Oliver got a call from the coroner regarding her autopsy.


Coroner: "Oliver, your wife seemed to have died from blunt force-trauma to the head. You said you hit a golf ball and hit her in the temple, is that correct?”

Oliver: "Yes, sir, that's correct.”

Coroner: "Well, inexplicably, I found a golf ball wedged up her butt."

Oliver: "Was it a Titleist 3?”

Coroner: "Yes, it was."

Oliver: "That was my mulligan.”


Dirt Cheap Commercial Mortgage Leads

There is no cheaper way for your bank to close more commercial mortgage loans than to buy leads and a listing on CommercialMortgage.com. The bank pays just $1,000 per year (not per month!), and the designated loan officer will receive, on average, one to five commercial leads per day. Each lead will be exactly what the banks wants to see - the right loan type (permanent loan or construction loan or SBA loan, etc.), the right loan amount, the right property type (apartment building or office building, etc.), in the right state, and with the right credit score. Click here for details.


What is Your Password?


Or You Can Get Commercial Loan Leads For Free!

It’s important that you guys don’t get confused here. C-Loans, Inc. owns TWO different commercial mortgage portals that actually compete against each other. I often joke that it is my dream is to own every horse in the Kentucky Derby. Haha!

We’ve already talked about CommercialMortgage.com (“CMDC”) above. CMDC is our latest portal, and it uses an advertising model. A bank pays $1,000 per year to be listed on CMDC and to receive leads, and if the bank closes a deal, the bank does NOT owe C-Loans, Inc. even one penny.

Our second portal, C-Loans.com, is our original portal. C-Loans.com has been phenomenally successful, boasting over 1,000 commercial loan closings totaling over $1 billion. We will list banks on C-Loans.com for free, and they will receive free leads by email, as well as calls and emails directly from borrowers.

If the bank closes a commercial loan, however, the bank owes to C-Loans.com a software licensing fee of between 25 to 50 bps (usually 37.5 bps.) In real life, all of our banks simply bump their normal loan fee from 1.0 points to 1.375 points, so C-Loans.com effectively costs the bank nothingPlease click here to get listed on C-Loans for free. (You must be a bona fide direct commercial lender servicing at least $20 million in commercial loans.)


Postman Joke

I scared the postman today by going to the door completely naked. I'm not sure what scared him more, my naked body or the fact I knew where he lived.


- Today's Lesson -

How Bankers Quote Commercial Loans

After reading this lesson, you will be able to know precisely what banks are quoting for commercial permanent loans without the need to call anyone. A banker is sitting a his desk, and he gets a call for a commercial permanent loan of $1.25 million on a strip center.

When it comes time to quote an interest rate, he doesn’t have to look at a rate sheet. Instead, he merely Googles “5-year Treasuries”. Then he adds between 2.75% and 3.5% to today’s value of 5-year Treasuries. 

Example: As of January 2, 2018, five-year (constant maturity) Treasuries are 2.51%. Adding 2.75% to 3.50% to five-year Treasuries gives 5.26% to 6.01%.

So who gets 5.26% and who has to be satisfied with 6.01%? It depends on the beauty of the property, its location, the liquidity of the borrower, the quality of tenants, the net worth of the borrower, his income, and his credit. Basically Ginger gets 5.26%, and Mary Ann gets 6.01%.


Won't You Please-Please-Please Refer Us Your Commercial Mortgage Turndowns?

If you have to turn down a commercial loan this week, you would really be helping your customer if you referred him to CommercialMortgage.com. (We paid $100,000 for the domain name, CommercialMortgage.com.) There are over 3,000 commercial lenders listed on this commercial lender search engine.


Barber Joke

A local barber in my area just got arrested for selling drugs. It blew my mind because I’ve been his customer for years. I had no idea he was a barber.


Ever Wonder What a C-Loans Application Looks Like?

Here's a sample commercial loan application.


The Man Had a Sense of Destiny


Would You Mind a $21,250 Referral Fee?

We once paid a $21,250 referral fee to a website owner named Alan Dunn of Spydercube.com for referring us a $17 million deal.

We've made it super-easy to refer us commercial loans and to receive big referral fees. Please click here for details.


Video - Guy Trying to Throw His Christmas Tree Away

This is hysterical.


Final Funny

Father buys a lie detector that makes a loud beep whenever somebody lies around it. The son comes home in the afternoon. Father asks him, “So, you were at school today, right?”

Son: “Yeah.”

Detector: “Beep.”

Son: “Okay, okay, I went to a movie.”

Detector: “Beep.”

Son: “Alright, I went for a beer with my friends.”

Father: “What?! At your age, I wouldn’t touch alcohol!”

Detector: “Beep.”

Mother laughs: “Ha-ha-ha! Well, he really is your son!”

Detector: “Beep.”


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Sacramento, CA 95841

P: (574) 210-6686

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Tom Blackburne

General Manager

Have questions? Email me.