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Volume 7: Issue 7 | Date: August 19, 2019

COMMERCIAL BROKER NEWSLETTER

You are receiving this letter because you either wrote to us or you are a commercial real estate broker client of either Blackburne & Sons or C-Loans, Inc. Today we’ll discuss the frightening reality that China and Russia are getting ready to go to war against us. In a recent Pentagon war planning simulation against China and Russia, the U.S. got its butt handed to it. We also have lots of cute, clean jokes, some funny pics, and a video of a really cool dad using a laundry basket to thrill his daughter.

Joke Du Jour

After putting her children to bed, a mother changed into old slacks and a droopy blouse and proceeded to wash her hair. She then carefully applied cold cream all over her face except her eyes, which she outlined with a different cream. She then proceeded to put her hair in high rollers. As she heard the children getting more and more rambunctious, her patience grew thin. At last she threw a towel around her head and stormed into their room, putting them back to bed with stern warnings. As she left the room, she heard her three-year-old say with a trembling voice, "Who was that?”

Private Money Commercial Permanent Loans

From $100K to $3.5M Nationwide

Apply Now! Do you need a commercial lender who will actually lend up to 75% LTV? Blackburne & Sons has decided to compete against banks by offering a higher LTV.

Do you need a lender who will also look at the borrower's global income - income from salaries, other investments, etc.? Do you need a lender who will allow the seller to carry back a second mortgage? Does your client have a balloon payment coming due on his commercial property? Has your bank offered him a discounted pay-off? Does your borrower have less-than-stellar credit? Is your client's company losing money? Is your borrower a foreign national? Do you need a non-recourse loan? Do you need a commercial loan with no prepayment penalty?

Is your client's commercial property partially vacant? Do all of your commercial leases run out in the next 18 months? Do you need a lender who will allow a negative cash flow? Do you need a loan against a portfolio of rental houses?

And don't forget, we will quickly and happily issue you a written Loan Approval Letter - at no charge - that you can use as a fallback and to lure cheaper lenders. After all, everyone wants to lend to you if you already have a commitment. Here is our latest rate sheet.

Blackburne & Sons is looking for commercial real estate loans that are not quite clean enough for a bank. Please click here to submit a hard money commercial loan or call me, George IV, at (916) 338-3232 Ext. 314.

- Today's Observation -

China And Russia Are Preparing to Attack Us

The Winds of War are blowing. I am convinced that China and Russia are preparing for another World War that may begin in as short as four years. "Wait a minute, George. If we had another World War, the nuclear exchange would exterminate life on earth."

Correct. Experts have predicted that a nuclear exchange between just India and Pakistan would create a nuclear winter so horrific that it would cause the starvation death of 2 billion people. No, neither side will use nukes, just like neither side used poison gas during World War II. Even with the vengeful Russians (they were really pissed) closing in on Berlin, the Germans didn't use poison gas.

I suspect that World War III will be fought instead with smart hypersonic missiles and space-based weapons. Imagine waking up to find smart hypersonic missiles slamming into our missile manufacturing plants, our chip manufacturing facilities (Intel and Micron); into the launchpads and engineering buildings of Space X (slows down our ability to launch new satellites); into our power plants and dams; into our oil refining plants; into the engineering buildings containing our brightest technological minds at Google, Microsoft and Intel; and into every one of our aircraft carriers.

"Generals always fight the last war." Cavalry worked well during the Civil War and the Crimean War, so old French, British, and Russian generals sent their cavalry against emplaced German machine guns in World War I. British dreadnoughts (battleships) won the big sea battle at Jutland during World War I, so the old U.S. admirals maintained a dozen battleships in 1941, many of which were easily sunk during the war by dive bombers taking off from Japanese aircraft carriers.

First Airplane Ride Joke

I was six years old when my daddy took me for my first airplane ride.  We boarded the plane and I got the window seat.  After a short while, I turned to daddy and exclaimed, "Daddy!  We're so high up all the cars on the freeway down there look like ants."  Daddy moved over and looked out the window.  After a moment he smiled and said, "Those are ants, my dear.  We haven't taken off yet."

Business Purpose Rental Home Loans in Most States

Apply Now! Please pay special attention to the following: Unlike other hard money brokers, Blackburne & Sons Realty Capital Corporation makes home loans with a 15-year term (30-year amortization), and there is NO prepayment penalty. Our competitors make just three-year or five-year bridge loans. Our loans are clearly better because you may want to hold the property. These loans are sometimes known as buy-to-rent loans.

Historically, Blackburne & Sons was mostly a commercial lender. This has now changed. We are aggressively aggressively seeking non-owner occupied home loans. We have already closed loans in the following states, and our attorney can quickly research your state to verify that we can lend there. Unfortunately, in a handful of states, an NMLS license is not enough.

Boat Captain Joke

A local laboratory employed a licensed boat captain to man its research vessel.  Reportedly, the captain couldn't swim.  A newcomer, learning of this, approached him about it.  "Is it true?" the newcomer asked incredulously. "You, a boat captain, can't swim?”  "No I can't," the captain replied. "Can pilots fly?”

Submit Your “A” Quality Commercial Loans Using C-Loans

Hot-To-Trot To Make Fix and Flip Loans

Blackburne & Sons is making a huge push into fix and flip lending. Of course we will still make our private money permanent loans on commercial properties nationwide; but we are now also making fix and flip loans across the country.

Please click here to submit a fix and flip loan or a hard money commercial loan or call me, George IV, at (916) 338-3232.

Obituary Joke

One morning at our small-town newspaper office, one of the editors was struggling to write a headline for the obituary of a woman who was noted for little besides a fondness for crossword puzzles.  "What am I supposed to write?" the editor whined. "She liked puzzles?”  Just then one of our copy editors piped up, "How about, 'Crossword fan is now six down.’"

Egg Joke

Little Johnny walked into his classroom with a fried egg on his head.  The teacher asked, "Why do you have a fried egg on your head?”  Little Johnny responded, "Because a hard boiled egg rolls off.”

Free Copy of The Blackburne List

Only Blackburne & Sons Can Do This

Blackburne & Sons has some truly unique and super cool programs:

• We'll give you a bridge loan on your commercial property for only one point! There is no prepayment penalty.
• We allow sellers to carry back a second mortgage behind our first mortgage.
• We will actually lend up to a 75% loan-to-value ration. Banks claim they will lend up to 75% LTV, but in real life they will only go 68% LTV.
• We offer private money (loose-goosey underwriting) commercial loans with 30-year payments and a 15-year term. Our competitors offer 2 to 3-year bridge loans. We offer 15-year permanent loans with no prepayment penalty. Never again will you have a balloon payment come due during a recession.
• We buy commercial first mortgages (usually at a discount).
• Instead of discounting your wonderful commercial first mortgage, consider pledging it as collateral for a smaller loan. This is called a hypothecation. We make loans secured by mortgage notes owned by the borrower.

Suspense Joke

Q: How do you keep an idiot in suspense?

London Bus Joke

Heard on a London bus:  "When you exit this vehicle, please be sure to lower your head and watch your step.  If you fail to do so, please lower your voice and watch your language.  Thank you.”

Platypus Joke

Q: Did you hear about the unique platypus? 

A: He was unlike all the otters.

Two Ways To Earn Referral Fees for Commercial Loans

We Once Paid $21,250

This is an absolute no-brainer. You simply put a link to C-Loans.com on your real estate website. We once paid a $21,250 referral fee to a guy who was asleep when the lead came in! Here are the details.

You can also refer commercial loans by hand. Simply insert your referrals here.

Video - This Dad is the Absolute Best

On a Personal Note

Have you ever seen the movie Shooter? It came out in the mid-2000s, and was about an Army sniper who was framed for an assassination attempt. Not the deepest movie ever, but there was a line in there that always stuck with me. The main character was teaching someone how to shoot and he told the student “Slow is smooth, smooth is fast”. That line always stuck out to me, especially because of how relevant it is in business. 

Final Funny

One day Al was driving to the lake for a swim when he noticed a man on the side of the highway dressed all in red. “Who are you?” asked Al as he pulled up to the stranger. “I’m the Man in Red and I’m very hungry,” said the man. Reaching into his lunch sack, Al pulled out a sandwich, handed it to the man, then sped off down the road. A few miles later, Al spotted another man, this time dressed all in yellow. “What can I do for you?” asked Al. “I’m the Man in Yellow and I’m very thirsty.” Pulling out a can of soda, Al handed the Coke to the man , then resumed his journey. 

Anxious to get to the lake before sunset, Al put his foot to the pedal and roamed off down the road, only to spot yet another man, dressed all in blue, signaling for Al to stop. “Don’t tell me!” said Al impatiently. “You’re the Man in Blue, right?” ”That's right!” replied the man. ”Well, what do you want?” ”Driver’s license and registration, please.”

Members of the Blackburne Family of Companies

CA DRE #829677

NMLS #103430

P: (916) 338-3232

F: (916) 338-2328

4811 Chippendale Dr, Ste. 101

Sacramento, CA 95841

CA DRE #1330173

NMLS #167100