You are receiving this letter because you are a commercial mortgage broker client of either Blackburne & Sons or C-Loans, Inc. Removal instructions are below. Today we'll talk about how banks do everything they can to make it difficult to get a commercial loan. And as always, we have lots of great jokes, funny pics, and a clever and funny video of a car purchase.

Joke Du Jour

A couple with three children waited in line at San Francisco's Pier 41 to purchase tickets for a boat trip to Alcatraz. Others watched with varying degrees of sympathy and irritation as the young children fidgeted, whined, and punched one another. The frazzled parents reprimanded them to no avail. Finally they reached the ticket window. "Five tickets, please," the father said. "Two round trip, three one-way."

My Wife Can Sometimes Be So Endearing

Get Your Fix and Flip Loan Here

Blackburne & Sons, my hard money shop, is hungry-hungry for fix and flip loans.

Salad Joke

Child at dinner table: "Are caterpillars good to eat?"
Parent: "No. Why would you ask a question like that?"
Child: "Well, there was one in your salad, but it's gone now."

Place Your Commercial Loans With C-Loans.com

C-Loans.com is a commercial mortgage portal where you can enter a commercial loan in just four minutes and then submit it to hundreds of different commercial lenders with one click. Please pay particular attention to the word, submit.

C-Loans.com is not just a list of lenders. You can actually submit your four-minute application to thirty or forty different lenders, until you find that one bank that is hungry to make a commercial loan right now! And C-Loans.com is free!

Diet Joke

Mary and Jill decided to split a can of Diet Pepsi during a break. Mary opened the can and poured half the contents into her own glass and half into Jill's glass. Before tossing the can, she stopped to read the nutritional information on the side. "Only one calorie per can," she read aloud. "Hmm," murmured Jill. "I wonder which glass has the calorie?"

Download Your Free Commercial Mortgage Marketing Course

We are giving away a free commercial mortgage marketing course, a course that we sell elsewhere on C-Loans.com for $199. Download it here.

Communion Joke

This young mother tells the story: To prepare for my daughter's First Communion, I called the church in the town where we used to live to get a copy of her baptismal certificate. We lived there for only a short while, so I didn't know the clergy well. When the secretary asked me the name of the father, I told her that I couldn't remember. After a brief silence, she said, "Ma'am, I'm talking about the name of the baby's father."

Submit Your Commercial Mortgage App Today

Blackburne & Sons, our private money commercial lending company, continues to seek slightly-flawed first mortgages between $100,000 to $1.5 million on standing commercial properties nationwide. We have tons of money right now, so we can do some of the larger loans that in the past were too large for us. We will now even consider land loans.

One unusual loan product that we offer is our blanket loan against a portfolio of rental homes. We will also hypothecate notes and buy commercial loans at a discount. And, as indicated above, we are very hungry to make fix and flip loans.

Please be sure to bookmark our commercial mortgage rate sheet right now. To apply for a private money commercial loan from Blackburne & Sons, please find your favorite loan officer below:

Alicia Gandy: 916-338-3232 Ext. 310
To apply to Alicia online, please click here.

George Blackburne IV: 916-338-3232 Ext. 314
To apply to George IV online, please click here.

Tom Blackburne: 574-210-6686
To apply to Tom online, please click here.

Michael Young: 916-338-3232 Ext. 312
To apply to Mike online, please click here.

Blood Donor Joke

Chuck Norris frequently donates blood to the Red Crossb& it's never his own.

Yeah, I've Often Wondered This Myself

CommercialMortgage.com ("CMDC") is a Free Commercial Lender Search Engine

We have added a ton of new banks to CMDC this past week. There are over 3,000 commercial lenders on CMDC. CommercialMortgage.com.

Wealth Joke

"If you don't know what it is, the World Economic Forum is an annual gathering of the super rich. It's funny how super rich people hang out together. You don't see that at other income levels. 'You make 80 grand a year? Me too! Well, let's go do something, take a trip.'" -- Jimmy Kimmel

Today's Training Lesson: Banks Make It So Hard To Get a Commercial Loan

The Blackburne family owns both C-Loans.com and CommercialMortgage.com. As a result, we see a ton of "A" quality commercial loans that are too good for our private money loans.

My son, Tom, was trying to place a bankable deal this week, so he was calling bank after bank. We sit close, so I heard the whole ordeal. I was absolutely stunned at how difficult it was for him to reach a commercial real estate loan officer at the typical bank.

First you have the automated receptionists. What a nightmare it often was to negotiate through the typical phone system. Many of these automated systems did their absolute best to prevent a potential customer from ever reaching a human. Even when there was an option to reach a receptionist, she was never at her desk. You had to leave a message

Bankers are such dummies. They no doubt lose a dozen major commercial loans every year - deals on which they might have made millions of dollars in interest - just to save the $40,000 cost of a human receptionist. Bankers shouldn't be allowed to breed.

Even when you do reach a receptionist, she treats you like a copy paper salesman, doing her best to make sure that no commercial borrower ever reaches a loan officer. "Hey, lady, commercial loans are the most profitable kind of loan in a bank's whole portfolio. If the bank doesn't make any loans, it won't have any dough with which to pay your salary. Geesch."

And the commercial real estate loan officer at the typical bank is never at his desk. You always have to leave a number. Half the time the guy is out of pocket for days at a time, and these commercial loan officers never arrange for another loan officer to handle the incoming business. How do they ever close a deal?

"Tom, have you tried CommercialMortgage.com?" I finally asked. No more automated receptionists. No more receptionists "loyally" guarding the bank from pesky commercial loan borrowers. Ha-ha! At least Tom could leave his phone number with the actual banker, even if it took a day and half to get a return call.

Today's comments really highlight the difference between C-Loans.com and CommercialMortgage.com. With C-Loans.com, you can submit your commercial loan application to six hungry bank loan officers instantly.

Want to really learn this profession? Then be SURE to subscribe to my free commercial real estate finance (CREF) training blog. I write these training articles (two per week) to train my staff and my two wonderful sons. You get to audit this training for free.

Bull Fighting Joke

"A matador in Spain is under investigation after a video surfaced of him bullfighting while holding his 5-month-old baby girl in his arms. But to be fair, it was Take Your Daughter to Work Day." -- Seth Meyers

Be Sure to Read the Second Line. Ha-ha!

Download and Print Out a Free Written Directory of 750 Commercial Lenders

Please notice I said 750 commercial lenders, not just 200. Imagine if you had scores and scores of commercial lenders for every deal. And did I mention it was free? Click to get your free list.

Korea Joke

"In the news yesterday, North Korea suggested that it would like to reunite with South Korea. I think something's up because today South Korea gave North Korea its Netflix password." -- Conan O'Brien

Nine-Hour Video Course on How to Broker Commercial Mortgage Loans

This 9-hour video course is my bread-and-butter course that teaches you how to market for commercial loans, how to underwrite them (the ratios), how to package them, where to place them, and how to collect your fee. Thousands of very happy commercial mortgage brokers have taken this course. Details.

Banana Joke

The banana loaf that I was making was in the oven when my 16-year-old came into the kitchen where the family had gathered. "That bread smells about done, don't you think, Mom?" he asked. I told him I had set the timer, and it still had five minutes. A little later he repeated his suggestion. "Mom, I really think that loaf is done. Maybe you should check it." Always quick to come to my defense, my 13-year-old son said, "Eddie, Mom's been burning that banana bread for 20 years now. I think she knows when to take it out.

Four-Hour Video Course on How to Find Your Own Private Mortgage Investors

There has never been a better time to become a hard money lender yourself. Banks are paying 1%. Trust deeds are paying 10%. A blind cripple could raise private money today.

Want some motivation? Every month my family firm earns $91,000 in loan servicing fees, whether we close any new loans that month or not. This is how we survived the S&L Crisis, the Dot Com Crisis, and the Great Recession. Scared of servicing loans? Bah. Just hire a sub-servicing firm to service your loans for $30 per month per loan.

But even a blind cripple needs to know the law about selling securities. This four-hour video training course will set you on your way. Details.

Do We Need a Northern Wall?

Get Both Video Programs For $849

Details

Body Joke

The body is consisted into 3 parts - the brainium, the borax and the abdominal cavity. The brainium contains the brain, the borax contains the heart and lungs, and the abdominal cavity contains the five bowels: A,E,I,O,U.

Business Loans Not Secured By Real Estate

I'm talking here about unsecured business loans, equipment loans, leases, inventory loans, factoring, accounts receivable financing, asset-backed lines of credit, etc. The reason you want to get into the business of brokering business loans is because such loans close in 10 to 14 days, NOT three months.

C-Loans.com is now offering business financing. Please click here if you are trying to place a business loan not secured by real estate.

Answering Machine Joke

A literature buff, my friend Larry installed an answering machine on his telephone. Instead of the usual instructions about leaving a message, Larry recorded a parody of Hamlet's famous soliloquy: "To speak, or not to speak, that is the question. Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to leave a message after the beep, or to take arms against a sea of answering machines, and by opposing, end them. To dial, to speak, no more. Thus answering machines do make cowards of us all."

Can't Afford Our Nine-Hour Training Course? Lust To Own Our Finding Investors Course?

Let's suppose you are a starving commercial mortgage broker. You would love-love-love to own one of my video courses, but you don't have $549. I will give you this course - either our 9-hour commercial mortgage brokerage training course course or our finding investors training course - for free, if you will compile a list for me of ten bankers making commercial loans.

This list must include the name of the commercial loan officer, the name of the bank, the street address, the phone number, and most importantly, the banker's email address. These bankers must work for a FDIC-insured bank or a NCUSIF-insured credit union. I will not accept commercial real estate loan officers working for any other type of commercial lender. I just want bankers.

These training programs are on DVD's, so you will have to pay $30 or so for the shipping. Please send your list to me by email. Please insert in the subject line, "Trade for 10 Bankers." Of course, I'll need your address and phone number. Obviously this is George Blackburne III (the old man) at george@blackburne.com. Guys, I get 1,300 emails every single day, so it is very easy for me to miss your email. Right after emailing me your list, please send a text to 574-360-2486, "George, I just sent you a list of 10 bankers."

Legos Joke

"A man broke a Guinness world record by walking barefoot on a 120-foot path of loose Legos. This beats the old record set by every dad getting up to use the bathroom at night." -- Jimmy Fallon

We're Now Making Business Purpose Rental Home Loans in All But Five States

The property has to be non-owner-occupied, and the purpose of the loan must be for business. The nice thing about business purpose home loans from Blackburne & Sons is that our loans have a 15-year term and no prepayment penalty.

Got a commercial deal nationwide or a business purpose, non-owner-occupied residential deal? Please call your loan officer:

Tom Blackburne at 574-210-6686
NMLS # 1014118

George Blackburne IV at 916-338-3232 Ext. 314
NMLS # 382122

Alicia Gandy at 916-338-3232 Ext. 310
NMLS # 389678

Michael Young at 916-338-3232 Ext. 312
NMLS # 1535540

Loans Made Under the California Finance Lenders Law.

Car Salesman Joke

After shopping for weeks, I finally found the car of my dreams. It was only two years old and in beautiful condition. The salesman asked if I would like to take it for a test drive. We had traveled no more than two miles when the car broke down. The salesman called for a tow truck. When it arrived, we climbed into the front seat. While the driver was hooking up the car, the salesman turned to me with a smile and said, "Well, now, what is it going to take to put you behind the wheel of that beauty today?"

Great Apartment Loan Program

You're probably used to thinking of Blackburne & Sons as a subprime commercial lender, but since our acquisition of CommercialMortgage.com (I paid more than a house), some of the nation's largest commercial mortgage investors are giving us wonderful opportunities. Please be sure to check out our great new apartment program.

To apply for an apartment loan from Blackburne & Sons, please find your favorite loan officer below:

Tom Blackburne: 574-210-6686
To apply to Tom online, please click here.

Alicia Gandy: 916-338-3232 Ext. 310
To apply to Alicia online, please click here.

George Blackburne IV: 916-338-3232 Ext. 314
To apply to George IV online, please click here.

Michael Young: 916-338-3232 Ext. 312
To apply to Mike online, please click here.

Video - How To Buy a Car

Sweet victory

Earn Big Referral Fees. We've Made It Really Easy.

Blackburne & Sons will pay you a referral fee of 20% of our loan fee, just for providing us with the name and the phone number of a prospective commercial mortgage borrower. We once paid a referral fee of $21,250 to a guy named Alan Dunn.

Just click here to refer us a commercial loan.

Final Funny (R)

A young couple honeymooning in Las Vegas were down to their last two dollars. The groom told the bride that he had a feeling that he could turn the two bucks into a fortune if he went down to the casino alone. Once in the casino, he put one dollar each into two slot machines and won Jackpots on both totaling $10,000. He then played blackjack for an hour until he had $50,000 in chips. Next, he played poker and upped his winnings to $100,000.

He was about to cash in his chips when he got a hunch that his luck hadn't run out. So he took all his money and placed it on Black at the roulette table, hoping to double his money. But the ball came up Red. He returned to his hotel room. "How did you do?" asked the bride. The groom shrugged and said, "I lost two dollars."

Buy Commercial Leads

You can buy commercial leads from C-Loans for just $1 to $9, plus 37.5 bps. when the deal closes.

Here's the most important reason why you want to buy leads from C-Loans. Once you close five loans for us, we will list you on our Suggested Lender List as a Proven Broker. If you ever achieve this distinction, the rest of your career will be a breeze. Three or four perfect commercial leads will appear in your email box daily until you retire.

Get a Free e-Book on CREF

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