C-LOANS BANKER LETTER
This letter is intended only for commercial mortgage loan officers working for banks and hard money lenders. Today we'll explain why inflation is about to soar. And, of course, because this is C-Loans (the jokesters), we have lots of cute, clean jokes, some funny pics, and a wonderful movie video that I guarantee will bring a smile to your face.
Joke Du Jour
My mother says she never holds grudges, but then she will blind-side you with something that happened years ago. Last week she said, "You know, you really hurt me on your birthday." And I was like, "Which birthday was that?" So she replied, "The first one. You have a really big head, you know."
Panda Fail
Please insert Panda Fail Pic here
Ever Wonder What a C-Loans Application Looks Like?
Here's a sample commercial loan application.
Biting Nails Joke
When I was around 4 years old, I was biting my nails pretty badly. My mother showed me a picture of a child with a very swollen belly due to malnutrition. "That will happen to you if you keep biting your nails," she told me. Later that week we were in the supermarket standing in line at the checkout counter behind a lady who was obviously 9-months pregnant. I pointed to her and, in a very loud voice, I said, "We know what she's been doing, don't we Mommy?" Have you ever seen your mother try to crawl under a cash register and hide?
Please Refer Your Commercial Loan Turndowns to Either CommercialMortgage.com or C-Loans.com
If you turn down a commercial real estate loan this week, would you kindly refer the borrower to CommercialMortgage.com (probably an easier web site name to remember) or C-Loans.com? CommercialMortgage.com sure better be easier to remember! We paid $100,000 just for that domain name. If none of our 4,000 different commercial lenders can help him, the deal probably isn't do-able. Thanks so much!
Caterpillar Joke
Q: What's a caterpillar's worst enemy?
A: A dogerpillar!
Why Inflation is About to Accelerate
In addition to owning Blackburne & Sons, I also own C-Loans.com, a commercial mortgage portal. With almost 1,500 commercial loan closings under our belt, C-Loans is a serious player in the commercial mortgage industry. C-Loans, Inc. has developed software that we license to banks that allows them to receive pre-screened commercial loan applications over the internet.
During the Great Recession, we lost 75% of our lenders. Ouch! And it has been a battle to “sell” (license) our software ever since. Banks had just lost a fortune making commercial loans during the slump, and they certainly didn't want to make any more.
Something has changed. We have “sold” our software to at least one or two new banks every business day for the past three-and-a-half weeks. And we didn't even call them. There was zero salesmanship involved. These banks came to us and asked to “buy” it. (Actually the word "buy" is misleading because our software doesn't cost the bank a cent.)
Okay, lots of banks are joining C-Loans. [Yawn. Stretch.] Why should I care? The reason all of these banks are suddenly licensing our software again is because they have finally shaken off their fears from the Great Recession. They are anxious to start lending again. It's difficult to overstate the importance of this. Banks are anxious to start lending again.
Remember, when a bank makes a new loan, the proceeds of that loan eventually end up in someone else’s bank. This second bank keeps 5% in reserve and re-lends 95%. This 95% eventually ends up in a third bank. The third bank keeps 5% of that 95% in reserve, and then re-lends 95% of that 95%. The process continues until the original loan amount from the first bank has been lent out twenty times. If the original loan was $1, the U.S. money supply grows by $20. This is called the multiplier effect.
Is an increasing money supply good for business? You betcha! When banks are lending aggressively, consumers have more money (and the confidence) to spend on homes, cars, furniture, and the like. Factory production increases, and these factories hire more workers. As demand for workers increases, eventually wages start to increase. With the country already close to full employment, wages are bound to increase, which gives workers even more money.
Anecdotal: Last week Cisca, my bride of 34 years, and I saw a local cable TV advertisement that lasted an entire minute from a factory in South Bend desperate for workers – one full minute! Around our small town we now see dozens of Help Wanted signs. We were doing a loan in Michigan last month, and I wanted to reassure our private investors that Michigan was an economically healthy state. When I looked up the unemployment rate, it was a mere 5.0%. And on top of this strong economy, the banks are finally now starting to lend? Can you spell b.o.o.m.?
What about inflation? Yup, it’s coming. Look for wage push inflation, as labor costs rise. Wage push inflation is a general increase in the cost of goods that is preceded by, and results from, an increase in wages. To maintain corporate profits after an increase in wages, employers must increase the prices they charge for the goods and services they provide.
We are going to see some inflation, but definitely not runaway inflation. Don’t forget that the Federal Reserve, in order to re-inflate the money supply during the Great Recession, bought on the order of $4.5 trillion (with a "T") worth of bonds, including Treasury bonds, corporate bonds, and mortgage-backed securities. When the Fed finally wants the money supply growth to slow down, all it has to do is to start selling off these bonds. This is called open market operations. My $10 K-Mart crystal ball is predicting that inflation will reach 3.5% annually before the Fed seriously starts to put on the brakes.
Diet Joke
Patient: "My stomach is getting awfully big, doctor."
Doctor: "You should diet."
Patient: "Really? What color?"
Getting Hungry For Commercial Loans Again?
As a lender, should you join C-Loans.com or the faster, easier portal, CommercialMortgage.com? It depends. If you'd like to close an extra couple of commercial loans every year, you should probably just join CommercialMortgage.com. If you are serious about expanding your commercial lending division, however, you should definitely join C-Loans.com. You will get far more applications.
Egg Rolls Joke
Q: How do you make an egg roll?
A: You push it!
Free Commercial Mortgage Marketing Course
You've got a buddy who works as a commercial loan officer at a neighboring bank, right? We'll trade you the contents of one of his or her business cards for a free commercial mortgage marketing course. We sell this popular course separately on C-Loans.com for $199. Learn how to turn on a flow of SBA and conventional commercial mortgage leads as easily as turning on a spigot.
Important note: This has nothing to do with joining C-Loans as a lender. For more information, please click here.
Nice Try, Though
Please insert Jesus Pic here
Bankers: Get 200 Free SBA Loan Applications
Does your bank want to close more SBA loans? C-Loans.com will give you two hundred SBA loan leads for free, deals that are perfect for your bank. These loans will be the right size. They will be located only in your favorite counties of your favorite states, and these SBA loans leads will be secured by just the type of commercial real estate that you prefer - office buildings, industrial buildings, etc.
Please click here for more information about how to receive 200 free SBA loan applications. The above offer is made only to commercial banks and credit unions.
What if you don't work for a bank or credit union, but your commercial mortgage company services more than $20 million in commercial real estate loans? We have a fine program for you too. Please call Mick Carlson at (574) 855-6292 or click here for more details.
Old is...
...your friends compliment you on your new alligator shoes, and you’re barefoot.
...a hot babe walks by, and your pacemaker opens your garage door.
...you remember when the Dead Sea was only sick.
Join C-Loans For a Flat Fee
Most banks that join C-Loans take advantage of our free guaranteed success program; but a bank can now join C-Loans, get listed on our Suggested Lender Lists, and receive tons of commercial mortgage loan applications for a small monthly fee:
For banks with less than $2 billion in assets, the cost is just $250 per month, and up to three loan officers can receive our SBA and commercial real estate loan leads.
For banks with more than $2 billion in assets and less than $7 billion in assets, the cost is just $350 per month, and up to four loan officers can receive our SBA and commercial real estate loan leads.
For banks with more than $7 billion in assets and less than $15 billion in assets, the cost is just $500 per month, and up to five loan officers can receive our SBA and commercial real estate loan leads.
For banks with more than $15 billion in assets, the cost is just $1,000 per month, and up to ten loan officers can receive our SBA and commercial real estate loan leads.
Important note: In all of these cases, the bank owes nothing more, even if it closes a loan.
To join C-Loans using our new flat-fee program, please email Mick Carlson, General Manager, or call him at 574-855-6292.
But, once again, most banks joining C-Loans, take advantage of our free guaranteed success program, where the bank only pays C-Loans, Inc. a software licensing fee of 0.375 points (just 25 bps. on deals over $5MM) if it closes a commercial loan from C-Loans. Most banks simply increase their normal loan origination fee from 1.0 point to 1.375 points to cover the cost of using our software and receiving our leads. This makes C-Loans effectively free to the bank.
To join using our guaranteed success program - effectively free to the bank - simply use this super-easy form to join C-Loans as a lender.
Sugar Joke
"A fellow nurse at my hospital received a call from an anxious patient. "I'm diabetic and I'm afraid I've had too much sugar today." the caller said. "Are you light-headed?" my colleague asked. "No," the caller answered, "I'm a brunette.” (In the perennial battle between the blondes and the brunettes, score one for the blondes. Ha-ha!)
Referring Your Turndowns to C-Loans.com (or CommercialMortgage.com) Gives Your Customers a Good Place to Look
If you have to turn down a bank customer's request for a commercial loan, it will help him if you could suggest a place for him to look elsewhere. With 750 different commercial real estate lenders participating on C-Loans.com, if your customer can't qualify for a commercial mortgage from us, he probably won't qualify anywhere. Thank you so much!
10 Rabbits Joke
Q: What do you call 10 rabbits walking backwards?
A: A receding hare line.
How To Close Investor Commercial Loans When Your Loan Committee Won't Exceed 62% LTV
Suppose one of your better bank customers wants to buy a commercial building, not for his company, but rather just for investment. The deal cash flows perfectly at 75% LTV, but your nervous Loan Committee cuts the deal back to just 62% LTV. "Gosh, I have been a good bank customer for decades. I thought my own bank would take better care of me."
The sister company of C-Loans, Blackburne & Sons, raises small balance JV equity for such deals, and we'll raise as little as $100,000. We'll add our equity to your customer's down payment to create a down payment large enough to satisfy your Loan Committee.
Got a potential deal? Please complete this simple preferred equity application or call Angela Vannucci at 916-338-3232.
Lightning Struck This Grass
Please insert Lightning Grass Pic here
Car Crashes Joke
"A recent report shows that pot smokers get into fewer car crashers than drunk people. Then again, it's easier to see what is coming when you're driving only 11 miles-an-hour." -- Conan O'Brien
Would You Mind a $21,250 Referral Fee?
We once paid a $21,250 referral fee to a website owner named Alan Dunn of Spydercube.com for referring us a $17 million deal. Not long ago we paid our friends at RealWebFunds.com an $11,000 referral fee.
We've made it super-easy to refer us commercial loans and to receive big referral fees. Please click here for details.
Video - Nobody Gets Out of Here Without Singing the Blues
I recently flashed on an old movie starring Elizabeth Shue when she was young, Adventures in Babysitting. Elizabeth is babysitting three young people, when she is forced to drag them into the big city. Stuff happens, and soon she and the kids finds themselves being chased by two killers. Fleeing through a less-affluent part of town, she and the kids run into a jazz club. The people there are kind, but when she tries to leave, several big men stand over her and say, “Nobody gets out of here without singing the blues.” Elizabeth is forced onto to the stage and made to compose a brand new jazz song on the spot. To the delight of the jazz club crowd, and the theater audience, this lovely, terrified young woman nails it. Ha-ha!
Guaranteed to put a smile on your face.
Coffin Joke
A man was walking home alone one night when he heard a "BUMP....BUMP....BUMP..." behind him. Walking faster, he looked back, making out an image of an upright coffin banging its way down the middle of the street towards him... BUMP... BUMP... BUMP.
The man began to run toward his home, and the coffin bounced after him faster....faster...BUMP BUMP BUMP! He ran up to his door, fumbled with his keys, opened the door, rushed in, and locked it behind him. The coffin crashed through his door, with the lid of the coffin clapping BUMP...BUMP...BUMP... on the heels of the terrified man.
The man rushed upstairs to the bathroom and locked himself in, heart pounding. With a CRASH, the coffin broke down the door, coming slowly toward him. The man, while screaming, reached for something, anything. All he can find was a box of cough drops, which he hurled at the coffin. ... and suddenly "the coffin stops!”
CommercialMortgage.com Really Is Free For Banks To Join
Stop! This has nothing to do with joining C-Loans.com. This is a totally different portal with totally different rules.
You can list your bank on CommercialMortgage.com in just four minutes for free. There is no set-up charge. There is no monthly fee. You don't even owe a fee if you close a deal. Unlike C-Loans.com, your listing is truly 100% free.
Your bank could surely stand to make a few more commercial loans. You would be absolutely nuts not to add your bank to this very active new portal (1,100 commercial loan app's in the first three weeks). Please click here to add your bank to CommercialMortgage.com.
Are you confused as to how C-Loans, Inc. could afford to spend $250,000 creating a new commercial mortgage portal that competes against its own flagship site, C-Loans.com? How can we afford to provide this site for free to both the borrowers and bankers?
The Blackburne family of commercial mortgage companies (est. 1980) also includes Blackburne & Sons Realty Capital Corporation. This hard money commercial mortgage company makes 15 year commercial loans nationwide using the funds of our 1,500 private investors. We earn a 2% loan servicing fee (200 bps!) on these loans, so if a loan stays outstanding for 15 years, we earn 33 points, including our typical 3-point origination fee. That's $330,000 in gross profit on a hard money loan of just $1 million.
By creating this free new portal, we get to look at every commercial loan that enters CommercialMortgage.com. Picture us as a grizzly bear, knee deep in the river, during salmon spawning season. So take your free listing on CommercialMortgage.com and run. Our new portal really is 100% free to your bank.
Final Funny
A contestant on "Who Wants to be a Millionaire?" had reached the final plateau. If she answered the next question correctly, she would win $1,000,000. If she answered incorrectly, she would pocket only the $32,000 milestone money. And as she suspected it would be, the million-dollar question was no pushover. It was, "Which of the following species of birds does not build its own nest, but instead lays its eggs in the nests of other birds? Is it A) the condor; B) the buzzard; C) the cuckoo; or D) the vulture?"
The woman was on the spot. She did not know the answer. And she was doubly on the spot because she had used up her 50/50 Lifeline and her Audience Poll Lifeline. All that remained was her Phone-a-Friend Lifeline. The woman hoped she would not have to use it because... her friend was, well... blonde. She had no alternative. She called her friend and gave her the question and the four choices. The blonde responded unhesitatingly: "That's easy. The answer is C: The cuckoo."
The contestant had to make a decision and make it fast. She considered employing a reverse strategy and giving Regis any answer except the one that her friend had given her. And considering that her friend was a blonde, that would seem to be the logical thing to do. On the other hand - the blonde had responded with such confidence, such certitude, that the contestant could not help but be persuaded. I need an answer," said Regis
Crossing her fingers, the contestant said, "C: The cuckoo." "Is that your final answer?" asked Regis. "Yes, that is my final answer." Two minutes later, Regis said, "That answer is ... absolutely correct! You are now a millionaire!" Three days later, the contestant hosted a party for her family and friends including the blonde who had helped her win the million dollars. "Jenny, I just do not know how to thank you! ," said the contestant. "How did you happen to know the right answer?" "Oh, come on," said the blonde. "Everybody knows that cuckoos don't build nests. They live in clocks."
One Final Pathetic Plea
If you won't let us pay you a referral fee, won't you please-please refer your commercial mortgage turndowns to C-Loans.com or to CommercialMortgage.com? Thanks!
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