C-LOANS BANKER LETTER
This letter is intended only for commercial mortgage loan officers working for banks and hard money lenders. Today we are going to talk about new competitors to banks for commercial loans.
And of course, because this is C-Loans (the jokesters), we have lots
of cute, clean jokes, some funny pics, and a very funny video taken on Southwest Airlines.
Hey guys, if we make you chuckle today, won't you please-please-please refer a turndown this week to CommercialMortgage.com?
Joke Du Jour
Recently, I called to make reservations on a small charter plane that departs from Teterboro Airport in New Jersey. I knew that I would be flying in a very small plane, so I was not surprised when the clerk said, "The plane is very full with baggage and passengers." Then she asked, "How much do you weigh, sir?" Not thinking clearly, I answered, "With or without clothes?" "Well," said the clerk, "how do you intend to travel?"
Meet Mrs. Captain Jack Sparrow
Ever Wonder What a C-Loans Application Looks Like?
Here's a sample commercial loan application.
Einstein Joke
"I saw that one hundred years ago this month, Albert Einstein presented his theory of General Relativity, which explains how gravity works. And it also marks the last time someone actually meant it when they said, 'Way to go, Einstein.'" -- Jimmy Fallon
Won't You Please-Please-Please Refer Us Your Commercial Mortgage Turndowns?
If you have to turn down a commercial loan this week, you would really be helping your customer if you referred him to CommercialMortgage.com. There are over 3,000 commercial lenders listed on this commercial lender search engine.
Commercial Mortgage Dot Com - that should be an easy domain name to remember.
New Competitors For Commercial Loans
In the past two years, three new classes of competitors to banks have arisen f or commercial loans. Bankers can no longer be complacent.
- Credit unions entered the commercial real estate lending market in force about three years, and they are direct competitors to banks for "A" quality deals. Their rates are every bit as low as those offered by commercial banks, and credit unions are more aggressive in their underwriting. Credit unions are a serious threat. There are 7,762 credit unions in the U.S.
- Wall Street has figured out how to securitize non-prime commercial loans. They bundle them, get the traunches rated by Fitch, and then securitize them. Wall Street non-prime lenders are bringing money to the commercial mortgage market at rates in the mid-7% range. There are four major players - Velocity Mortgage Capital, Silver Hill Funding, Cherrywood Commercial Lending, ReadyCap Commercial.
- Then there is a brand new player in town - the secondary market from Wall Street for subprime commercial loans. Players include ROC Capital (spinoff of Deutsche Bank), Fortress Financial, PeerStreet (backed by Michael Bury from The Big Short), and many others. These Wall Street guys are cruising the hard money conventions and signing up brokers to bring them commercial loans.
A bankers would be foolish to be complacent about meeting his commercial loan production target. The really smart banker joins C-Loans and has pre-qualified deals delivered to his email box.
Wedding Cake Joke
"A piece of wedding cake from Donald and Melania Trump's wedding is currently up for auction. The 12-year-old piece of cake is being marketed as a rare collector's item. This piece of cake is expected to go for over $1,000. What a rip-off. If I want to eat a 12-year-old piece of cake, I'll go to the liquor store and buy some Twinkies, like a normal person." -- James Corden
Hey There, Big Boy. Do You Come Here Often?
Turkey Joke
Some people really love Christmas, but I love Thanksgiving. Last year, I had my chance to do the traditional thing of shooting my own turkey for Thanksgiving. Man, you should have seen the people scatter in the meat department!
Join CommercialMortgage.com For Free
Want to close a few more commercial loans? Your bank can now be listed on CommercialMortgage.com ("CMDC") for free.
"George,
if CMDC is free to both banks and borrowers, how do you make any
dough?"
Our hard money commercial mortgage company, Blackburne & Sons (est. 1980), works the subprime leads generated by the site. Basically your bank is our loss leader. Your low-rate loan programs are our dirt-cheap toilet paper that brings shoppers into the store. Ha-ha! If you close a loan, we make nothing.
Click here to list your bank on CMDC and receive totally FREE commercial real estate loan leads.
Aspirin Joke
A man brings his wife a glass of water and two aspirins. She
looks surprised and says, "I don't have a headache!"
He says, "Aha!"
Would You Please Refer Your Commercial Loan Turndowns to CommercialMortgage.com?
I apologize for the repeated begging, but C-Loans, Inc. is a tiny company - just an attorney dad, a couple of Eagle Scout sons, and nine hard-working co-workers.
We do have a couple of claims to fame. (1) We are just about the oldest surving hard money lender in the country - since 1980; and (2) C-Loans.com has closed over 1,000 commercial real estate loans. That's a lot of loans for a company that never got venture capital.
Because we are so small, your commercial loan referral means something to us. It will also greatly help your client because he will be able to search a database of over 3,000 commercial lenders.
Commercial Mortgage Dot Com - an easy domain name to remember. Thank you!
Kindergarten Joke
On the first day of school, the kindergarten teacher said, "If anyone has to go to the bathroom, hold up one or two fingers." A little voice from the back of the room asked, "How will that help?"
Join C-Loans.com and Close Five More Loans Every Year, Decade After Decade
As a lender on C-Loans.com, you will receive carefully screened commercial loan applications directly to your email box. Each loan will be the right size, the right type (permanent, construction, bridge, etc.), on the right type of property, and in your exact lending area. And there will be a pretty good volume of them.
With one click, you will see an Executive Loan Summary with the debt service coverage ratio and loan-to-cost ratio already completed for you. Many Executive Summaries contain property pictures as well.
If you see a deal that you like, simply pick up the phone and call the borrower or broker directly, with no one else in your way.
Does it work? C-Loans lenders have closed more than 1,000 commercial real estate loans totaling over one billion dollars. One of our lenders (Trevor Cole Commercial) just closed its 50th loan for C-Loans. Two other have closed 40+ loans for C-Loans.
How much does it cost for your bank to be listed on C-Loans.com? You can pay a monthly fee to be listed on C-Loans.com (see further below), but nobody does that. All 750 of our banks choose to simply bump their normal loan fee up from 1 point to 1.375 points. When the loan closes, we send you an invoice for our software licensing fee. Click here for more details.
Stikkup Story (True)
In San Francisco, a man, wanting to rob a downtown Bank of America, walked into a local branch and wrote, "this iz a stikkup. Put all your muny in this bag." While standing in line, waiting to give his note to the teller, he began to worry that someone had seen him write the note and that they might call the police before he even reached the teller window. So he left the Bank of America and crossed the street to Wells Fargo.
After waiting a few minutes in line, he handed his note to the Wells Fargo teller. She read it, noticing all of his spelling errors. She quickly surmised that he wasn't the brightest light in the harbor. Then she told him that she could not accept his stickup note because it was written on a Bank of America deposit slip, and that he would either have to fill out a Wells Fargo deposit slip or go back to Bank of America.
Looking somewhat defeated, the man said "OK" and left. The Wells Fargo teller then called the police who arrested the man a few minutes later, as he was waiting in line back at Bank of America.
Bankers: Get 200 Free SBA Loan Applications
Does your bank want to close more SBA loans? C-Loans.com will give you two hundred SBA loan leads for free,
deals that are perfect for your bank. These loans will be the right
size. They will be located only in your favorite counties of your
favorite states, and these SBA loans leads will be secured by just the
type of commercial real estate that you prefer - office buildings,
industrial buildings, etc.
Please click here for more information about how to receive 200 free SBA loan applications. The above offer is made only to commercial banks and credit unions.
Beer Run Story (True)
Arkansas: Seems this guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided that he'd just throw a cinder block through a liquor store window, grab some booze, and run. So he lifted the cinder block and heaved it over his head at the window. The cinder block bounced back and hit the would-be thief on the head, knocking him unconscious. Seems the liquor store window was made of Plexi-Glass. The whole event was caught on videotape.
When a Recession Hits, the First Thing That Banks Do Is To Lay Off Their Commercial Loan Officers
During the 37 years since I first founded my commercial mortgage company, I have seen more than 3,000 S&L's, banks, Wall Street subprime commercial lenders (think Lehman Brothers), hard money commercial lenders, and other commercial lenders go bankrupt.
And during recessions, fuhgetaboutit. Even if the bank doesn't fail, bank commercial loan officers get laid off in droves. It's like the St. Valentine's Day Massacre. Bang-bang-bank. Your job at the bank may not be as secure as you think.
However, if you close five commercial loans for C-Loans while you're still working at the bank, we will list your brand new, one-man, commercial mortgage company as if it was a lender on C-Loans. More precisely, we list you on C-Loans as a Proven Broker - an old pro who has proven himself.
Now the question is: Are you 100% convinced that your bank will keep paying your $100,000 per year salary when your bank has a zero appetite for making new commercial loans?
Moral of the story: Join C-Loans and work hard to close five deals while you are still working for the bank.
Dear Abby
"I have a man I never could trust. He cheats so much, I'm not even sure this baby I'm carrying is his."
Join C-Loans For a Flat Fee
Is your boss having trouble with the idea of a software company that only gets paid when deals close? If so, just license our software on a flat fee basis.
For
banks with less than $2 billion in assets, the cost is just $250 per
month.
For
banks with more than $2 billion in assets and less than $7 billion in
assets, the cost is just $350 per month.
For
banks with more than $7 billion in assets and less than $15 billion in
assets, the cost is just $500 per month.
For
banks with more than $15 billion in assets, the cost is just $1,000 per
month.
Important note: In all of these cases, the bank owes nothing more, even if it closes a loan. To join C-Loans using our flat-fee program, please email Tom Blackburne, General Manager, or call him at 574-210-6686.
Moth Joke (PG-13)
A woman was having a passionate affair with an inspector from a pest-control company. One afternoon, they were carrying on in the bedroom together when her husband arrived home unexpectedly. "Quick," said the woman to her lover, "into the closet!" and she pushed him in the closet, stark naked.
The husband, however, became suspicious and after a search of the bedroom discovered the man in the closet. "Who are you?" he asked. "I'm an inspector from Termite Busters," said the exterminator. "What are you doing in there?" the husband asked. "I'm investigating a complaint about an infestation of moths," the man replied. "And where are your clothes?" asked the husband. The man looked down at himself and said, "Those little bastards."
Oh, Won't You Please-Please-Please Refer Your Turndowns to CommercialMortgage.com?
If you have to turn down a bank customer's request for a commercial real estate loan this week,
it will help him immensely if you would please suggest a place for him to look elsewhere. With over 3,000 listed commercial real estate lenders, CommercialMortgage.com is the place to send him. If none of our 3,000+ commercial lenders will finance his deal, then his request simply isn't do-able.
Slinkies Joke
Some people are like Slinkies . . . not really good for anything, but you still can't help but smile when you see one tumble down the stairs.
I'm Not a Wino, I'm Not!
Would You Mind a $21,250 Referral Fee?
We
once paid a $21,250 referral fee to a website owner named Alan Dunn of
Spydercube.com for referring us a $17 million deal.
We've made it super-easy to refer us commercial loans and to receive big referral fees. Please click here for details.
Funny Video
Flight attendants for Southwest Airlines really have fun with their pre-flight safety annoucements.
Final Funny - An Oldie But Still Pretty Funny
"A professor from U.C. Berkeley said we are on track for having the worst drought in 500 years. You can tell this drought is getting really bad. Today at lunch, my waiter asked if I wanted a glass of water or a future for my children. I took the water." -- Conan O'Brien
One Final Pathetic Plea
If you won't let us pay you a referral fee, won't you please-please refer your commercial mortgage turndowns to CommercialMortgage.com? Thanks!
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