C-LOANS BANKER LETTER
This letter is intended only for commercial mortgage loan officers working for banks and hard money lenders. Today we'll talk about bankruptcy issues that arise when making commercial loans. And, of course, because this is C-Loans (the jokesters), we have lots of cute, clean jokes, some funny pics, and a wonderful video for you.
Joke Du Jour
My friend Nancy and I decided to introduce her elderly mother to the magic of the Internet. Our first move was to access Google, and we told her it could answer any question she had. Nancy's mother was very skeptical, until Nancy said, "It's true, Mom. Think of something to ask it." As I sat with fingers poised over the keyboard, Nancy's mother thought for a moment and then responded, "How is Aunt Helen feeling?"
This is Just Mean-Spirited
Please insert Peyton and Brady Pic here
In truth Tom Brady showed some real toughness in that game.
Would You Please Refer Your Commercial Loan Turndowns to C-Loans.com?
If you have to turn down a commercial real estate loan this week, would you kindly refer the borrower (or broker) to C-Loans.com? If none of our 750 different commercial lenders can help him, the deal probably isn't do-able. Thanks so much!
Giraffe Joke
"A rare white giraffe has been spotted in Africa. The white giraffe was immediately captured and nominated for an Oscar. -- Conan O'Brien
(A famous black actress recently complained that every Oscar nominee this year was white.)
Get Paid $250 Each To Close Commercial Loans For C-Loans
We need more new banks to join C-Loans.com, so if you are a commercial real estate loan officer working for either an FDIC-insured commercial bank or a credit union, C-Loans, Inc. will pay you $250 every time you close a commercial loan for us.
Important note: You must join C-Loans.com for the first time after February 3rd, 2016, and you must join using this special link: Bankers, Join C-Loans.com and Get Paid to Close Commercial Loans.
It's a Girl Joke
Stationed in Okinawa, Japan, my son and his wife were expecting their first baby. I was elated when he called me at work with the news of my grandchild's birth. I took down all the statistics and turned to relate it all to my co-workers. "I'm a grandmother!" I declared. "It's a baby girl, and she weighs five pounds." "When was she born?" someone asked. Recalling the date my son told me, I stopped, looked at the calendar, and said in amazement, "Tomorrow!"
Bankruptcy Rules You Need To Know
You have been trying to land this business owner's accounts for years. When he finally does give you a chance to become his bank, it is to refinance his offfice building. He has a balloon payment that is past due, and his foreclosing lender is being a jerk. He just came to you too late.
At the advice of his attorney, the future customer files a Chapter 11 Bankruptcy. The moment he does this, the foreclosing lender becomes subject to an automatic stay. In other words, the foreclosing lender must immediately freeze in his tracks. "Sit, Oboo. Stay!" He can't call and harangue the borrower, and he cannot continue his foreclosure until a bankruptcy judge grants his Motion for Relief From the Automatic Stay. (C'mon, Judge, please-please let me finish off this foreclosure.)
If this was a Chapter 7 Bankruptcy - a liquidation of the debtor's assets in order to partially repay his creditors - a bankruptcy trustee will be appointed to marshal the assets. Liquidation is merely a fancy legal terms that means "sell the assets and convert them into cash". A bankruptcy trustee is typically an attorney paid by the court out of the assets of the debtor's estate (and who almost never returns phone calls). To marshal the assets means "to gather up the assets", like a French general assembling his troops before he attacks.
In this case, it is not necessary to sell everything that the debtor owns in order to satisfy his creditors. His company is making plenty of dough, and he has a high net worth. That's why you want him as a customer. He just needs some time to reorganize his assets - to either to sell off some assets or to refinance his building. That's why the debtor just filed a Chapter 11 Reorganization. A trustee is even appointed in Chapter 11 Bankruptcies to be the eyes and ears of the court.
Continuing our example, the debtor client is now in bankruptcy. Your Loan Committee definitely wants this customer's business, so they approve the refinance. Can you now simply trot the customer down to closing and sign off?
No! If a borrower is in bankruptcy, the new lender needs the bankruptcy court's permission to make the debtor a new loan. "But the bankruptcy trustee said it was okay!" The bankruptcy trustee's permission is not enough. The bankuptcy judge must sign off on the new loan. The debtor's bankruptcy attorney will handle this in a motion format that includes a copy of your term sheet.
Does your bank or credit union need more commercial real estate loans? Please call Mick Carlson at (574) 855-6292 or click here for more details.
Too Helpful Joke
Working for a judge in a common pleas court, I saw many criminal defendants. One man facing drug charges proved unusually helpful. To determine the exact quantity of the illegal substance allegedly sold, the judge asked the prosecutor how many grams there are in an ounce. As both attorneys checked their notes, the defendant, who had not yet entered his plea, proudly announced, "There are 28.3 grams in an ounce, Your Honor."
Oops. His attorney advised him to plead guilty.
Need a Funny Headline Here
Please insert 5 Minutes Pic here
We've Made It Easy to Join C-Loans
It's very possible that your boss may soon come to you and say, "The Board is feeling a little more confident about the future. We'd like you to make a few more commercial loans." When this happens, please remember that C-Loans can quickly deliver attractive commercial loan applications directly to your inbox.
C-Loans has designed a super-easy form to join C-Loans as a lender.
Surgery Joke
Things you don’t want to hear during your surgery:
- You know, there's big money in kidneys. Heck, the guy's got two of them.
- What do you mean he wasn't in for a sex change?
- Accept this sacrifice, O Great Lord of Darkness!
Referring Your Turndowns to C-Loans.com Gives Your Customers a Good Place to Look
If you have to turn down a bank customer's request for a commercial loan, it will help him if you could suggest a place for him to look elsewhere. With 750 different commercial real estate lenders participating on C-Loans.com, if your customer can't qualify for a commercial mortgage from us, he probably won't qualify anywhere. Thank you so much!
Another Mean-Spirited Joke
A guy walks into a bar with a dachshund under his arm. The dog is wearing a Jets jersey and a Jets helmet, and he is holding a set of Jets pom poms. The bartender says,"Hey! No pets allowed in here! You'll have to leave!" The man begs, "Look, I'm desperate. We're both big fans, my TV is broken, and this is the only place we can see the game!" After securing a promise that the dog will behave and warning him that if there is any trouble they will be thrown out, the bartender relents and allows them to stay in the bar and watch the game.
The game begins with the Jets receiving the opening kickoff. They march down field, stop at the 30, and kick a field goal. With that the dog jumps up on the bar and begins walking up and down the bar giving everyone a high-five. The bartender says,"Wow that is the most amazing thing I've ever seen! What does the dog do if they score a touchdown?" "I don't know," replies the owner, "I've only had him for four years."
How To Close Investor Commercial Loans When Your Loan Committee Won't Exceed 62% LTV
Suppose one of your better bank customers wants to buy a commercial building, not for his company, but rather just for investment. The deal cash flows perfectly at 75% LTV, but your nervous Loan Committee cuts the deal back to just 62% LTV. "Gosh, I have been a good bank customer for decades. I thought my own bank would take better care of me."
The sister company of C-Loans, Blackburne & Sons, raises small balance JV equity for such deals, and we'll raise as little as $100,000. We'll add our equity to your customer's down payment to create a down payment large enough to satisfy your Loan Committee.
Got a potential deal? Please complete this simple preferred equity application or call Angela Vannucci at 916-338-3232.
The Blackburne Family Feeds Half the Stray Cats and Raccoons in the Neighborhood
Please insert Bird Feeder Pic here
What is C-Loans 2.0?
Let's suppose you've heard about all of the hundreds and hundreds of commercial real estate loans being closed by C-Loans.com, and you want your bank to join. Unfortunately your boss is adamant, "We will not pay a fee to C-Loans!"
Now its no longer a problem. C-Loans, Inc. is pleased to announce C-Loans 2.0, a new program where we collect our own 37.5 bps. software licensing fee directly from the borrower. Here are the details on the brand, new C-Loans 2.0.
To join C-Loans.com and to receive custom-fitted commercial real estate loan applications from high-net-worth individuals located close to your branch, please call Mick Carlson at 574-855-6292.
Sarah Palin Joke
"At a Donald Trump rally in Oklahoma, Sarah Palin called President Obama a weak-kneed capitulator in chief. When asked if she knows what a capitulator is, she said, 'Of course I do — it's one of those worms that turns into a butterfly!'" -- Jimmy Fallon
Would You Mind a $21,250 Referral Fee?
We once paid a $21,250 referral fee to a website owner named Alan Dunn of Spydercube.com for referring us a $17 million deal. Not long ago we paid our friends at RealWebFunds.com an $11,000 referral fee.
We've made it super-easy to refer us commercial loans and to receive big referral fees. Please click here for details.
Wonderful Video
The ending will really touch you.
Wall Joke
"A researcher found lyrics to a song that Woody Guthrie wrote over 50 years ago about Donald Trump's father, Fred Trump. I believe it was called, 'This Land is My Land and This Land is My Land, and This Land is Also My Land'. Donald was like, 'Big deal - Pink Floyd did an entire album about me called, 'The Wall', and I made them pay for it.'" -- Jimmy Fallon
Hear Woody Guthrie's famous 1956 folk song.
One Final Pathetic Plea
If you won't let us pay you a referral fee, won't you please-please refer your commercial mortgage turndowns to C-Loans.com? Thanks!
Final Funny
Three bulls heard via the grapevine that the rancher was going to bring another bull onto the ranch. The prospect raised a discussion among them. The first bull says, "Boys, we all know I've been here 5 years. Once we settled our differences, we agreed on which 100 of the cows would be mine. Now, I don't know where this newcomer is going to get his cows, but I ain't givin' him any of mine."
The second bull says, "That pretty much says it for me too. I've been here 3 years and have earned my right to the 30 cows we've agreed are mine. I'll fight 'im till I run him off or kill 'im; but I'm keepin' all of my cows." The third bull says, "I've only been here a year, and so far you guys have only let me have 10 cows to take care of. I may not be as big as you fellows yet, but I am young and virile, so I simply MUST keep all my cows."
They had just finished their big talk when a black, shiny eighteen-wheeler pulls up in the middle of the pasture. This evil-looking tractor trailor looks like Darth Vador on wheels. Bam! The heavy steel ramp booms when it hits the ground. As they watched in terror, the biggest, baddest Son-of-Another-Bull strode down ramp. He must have been 4,700 pounds, and with each step the solid steel ramp bent and groaned in protest.
The first bull says, "Ahem...you know, it's actually been some time since I really felt I was doing all of my cows justice. I think I can spare a few for our new friend." The second bull says, "I'll have plenty of cows to take care of if I just stay on the opposite end of the pasture from him. I'm certainly not looking for an argument." They look over at their young friend, the third bull, and find him pawing the dirt, shaking his horns, and snorting up a storm. The first bull says, "Son, let me give you some advice real quick. Let him have some of your cows and live to tell about it."
The third bull says, "Heck, he can have all of my cows. I'm just making sure he knows I'm a bull!"
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