MORTGAGE STUFF (C-Loans Client Letter)
You are receiving this letter because you are a commercial mortgage broker client of either Blackburne & Sons or C-Loans, Inc. Removal instructions are below. Today we'll talk about how capitalism (greed) has finally returned to real estate - and why you should care. It's all good. And of course we have lots of great jokes, gags, and funny pictures too.
Joke Du Jour
My wife and I were browsing in a crafts store when I noticed a display of country-style musical instruments. After looking over the flutes, dulcimers and recorders, I picked up a shiny, one-stringed instrument I took to be a mouth harp. I put it to my lips and, much to the amusement of other shoppers, twanged a few notes on it. After watching from a distance, my wife came up and whispered in my ear, "I hate to tell you this, honey, but you're trying to play a cheese slicer."
Insert small funny picture here, including click to enlarge.
Blackburne & Sons Is Closing Commercial Loans Like Gangbusters
I often teach my trainees that one of the best ways to understand a commercial lender's sweet spot is to study their tombstones (public annoucements about loan closings). Here is just a few of our recent loan closings.
Blackburne & Sons continues to seek first mortgages between $100,000 to $2.5 million on standing commercial properties nationwide.
Here is our promised, long-delayed commercial mortgage rate sheet.
To apply for a private money commercial loan from Blackburne & Sons, please find your favorite loan officer below:
Alicia Gandy: 916-338-3232
To apply to Alicia online, please click here.
Desmond Stoll: 916-338-3232
Mick Carlson: 574-855-6292
To apply to Mick online, please click here.
Heart Trouble Joke
"I'm so worried," the nervous patient said as the nurse plumped up his pillows. "Last week, I read about a man who was in the hospital because of heart trouble, and he died of malaria." "Relax," the nurse said smiling. "This is a first-rate hospital. When we treat someone for heart trouble, he dies of heart trouble."
The Return of Capitalism to Real Estate
It has been said that fear is a three times stronger emotion than greed. Therefore you should find it greatly reassuring that greed has finally returned to real estate. It means that fear is retreating. Here are some wonderful signs of greed:
Billion dollar hedge funds are buying up rental houses by the hundreds. In many markets, there is a dearth of inventory. Sacramento, for example, is down to a 45-day inventory.
Four, large, Asset-Backed Securitizations ("ABS"), secured by commercial real estate loans (hard money loans) totaling over $1 billion, were successfully issued in the 4th quarter of 2012. These securities fetched even higher prices than the investment banks projected.
Real estate is roaring back folks!
Nervous Flyer Joke
During a trip from California to Indiana, it didn't help that my connecting flight from Denver was delayed twice because of mechanical problems. Then, after we were aloft, I noticed the lights began flickering. I mentioned this to a flight attendant. "I'll take care of it," she said. Moments later the lights went out. Clearly she had solved the problem by turning off all the lights. A passenger across the aisle who had been watching me leaned over and said, "Whatever you do, please don't ask about the engines."
Place Your Commercial Loans With C-Loans.com
C-Loans.com is a commercial mortgage portal where you can enter a commercial loan in just four minutes and then submit it to hundreds of different commercial lenders with one click. And C-Loans is free!
A little girl is sitting on her grandpa's lap and studying the wrinkles on his old face. She gets up the nerve to rub her fingers over the wrinkles. Then she touches her own face and looks more puzzled. Finally the little girl asks, "Grandpa, did God make you?" "He sure did honey, a long time ago," replies her grandpa. "Well, did God make me?" asks the little girl. "Yes, He did, and that wasn't too long ago," answers her grandpa. "Boy," says the little girl, "He's sure doing a lot better job these days, isn't He?"
We're Now Making Home Loans in California
For the past 32 years Blackburne & Sons has exclusively been a commercial lender. That has now changed. We are now aggressively seeking non-owner-occupied home loans in California. (Sorry, folks, we are ONLY licensed to make non-owner-occupied home loans in California. We cannot make home loans in any other state; but we will make commercial loans nationwide.)
Got a nationwide commercial deal or a California non-owner-occupied residential deal? Please call your California Loan Officer:
Alicia Gandy at 916-338-3232
Last Mortgage Payment Joke
Finally, our last mortgage payment. To make a ceremony of it, we went to the bank and paid in person. The teller processed everything and handed me the closing papers. Heading for the door, I suddenly remembered a rebate check I'd brought along to cash. I went back to the same teller. "Sorry, we can't do that," she explained. "You don't have an account here."
Nine-Hour Video Course on How to Broker Commercial Mortgage Loans
This is my bread-and-butter course that teaches you how to market for commercial loans, how to underwrite them (the ratios), how to place them, and how to collect your fee. Thousands of very happy commercial mortgage brokers have taken this course. Details.
Mother of Six Joke
Joe was proud of his family of six children. He frequently referred to his wife as "Mother of Six," much to her annoyance. Finally, she cured him of his habit. At the end of a big party, Joe called out loud enough for everyone to hear: "Ready to go, Mother of Six?" "Any time you are," she replied, "Father of Four."
Now Is the Time to Jump Into Hard Money!
Four-hour training course, How to Find Your Own Private Mortgage Investors. $499. Please click here for details.
You can buy both of my famous training courses, How to Broker Commercial Mortgage Loans and How to Find Your Own Private Mortgage Investors, for just $799. Please call Tom Blackburne at 916-338-3232.
Another Funny Picture
Insert small version here, with click to enlarge
Earn Big Referral Fees. We've Made It Really Easy.
Blackburne & Sons will pay you a referral fee of 20% of our loan fee, just for providing us with the name and the phone number of a prospective commercial mortgage borrower. We once paid a referral fee of $21,250 to a guy named Alan Dunn.
Just click here to refer us a commercial loan.
Buy Commercial Leads
You can buy commercial leads from C-Loans for just $1 to $9 apiece, plus 37.5 bps. when the deal closes.
Final Funny (Long But VERY Cute)
A Canadian customer was calling to find out if there was a faster way to trigger menu commands than mousing up to the menus.
Agent: Certainly, sir. There are keyboard shortcuts for many of those commands. For example, suppose you want to trigger the Select All command...
Caller: Yes, I use that one all the time! How do I do it?
Agent: Well, you just press Control-A.
Caller (after a pause): Well, that's not working for me.
Agent: Do you have a text document open in front of you?
Caller: Yes, I sure do.
Agent: OK, now press Control-A.
Caller: I am, but nothing happens.
Agent: The text isn't highlighted?
Caller: No, there's no change at all.
Agent: That's odd. If you press Control-A the whole document should be highlighted. Try it again. Press Control-A. Tell me exactly what's happening.
Caller (nearing his Canadian breaking point): Listen. I'm pressing Control, eh? And nothing's happening, eh?