MORTGAGE STUFF (C-Loans Client Letter)
You are receiving this letter because you are a commercial mortgage broker client of either Blackburne & Sons or C-Loans, Inc. Removal instructions are below. George is giving his first live training class in three years for commercial mortgage brokers who just aren't making any money. And of course we have lots of great jokes, gags, and funny pictures too.
Joke Du Jour
Hostess Brands, the makers of Twinkies and Ding Dongs, has filed bankruptcy after its labor unions refused to make pay concessions. Here's what one late night comedian had to say.
"Colorado and Washington just legalized marijuana. If Hostess can't figure out a way to make money off of that, then maybe they shouldn't be in the snack cake industry. I guess I'll just have to take my business to Little Debbie." -- Jimmy Kimmel
Are You Struggling as a Commercial Mortgage Broker?
George Blackburne III (the old man) is giving his first (and only) live training class in three years, The Practice of Commercial Mortgage Brokerage - How to Fix Your Commercial Mortgage Brokerage Business If You're Not Making Any Money.
George intends to stay after the class and answer individual questions for at least an hour and a half. This is a rare opportunity to pick the brain of this 32-year veteran of the commercial mortgage wars, so bring your deals and your hot leads. George is the owner and founder of both Blackburne & Sons and CommercialMortgage.com (C-Loans.com).
The class will be held at 10:00 am on Tuesday, December 11th, at the Crowne Plaza Hotel in downtown Denver. Please click here for more details.
"The federal government has a new plan that will let people send texts to 911. Yeah, it's a little frustrating when you try to text, 'Burglar! Please hurry!,' and it auto-corrects to, 'Burger, please. Hungry.'" -- Jimmy Fallon
Blackburne & Sons is Still Hot to Make Commercial Loans. New Rate Sheet Now Available.
Blackburne & Sons makes hard money commercial loans on multifamily properties, office building, retail buildings, industrial buildings, self storage projects, mobile home parks, restaurants, and bars nationwide.
Here is our latest rate sheet.
Our absolute favorite property type will surprise you - farmland. Did you know that farmland is the only property type to appreciate during the Great Recession?
To apply for a private money commercial loan from Blackburne & Sons, please find your favorite loan officer below:
Alicia Gandy: 916-338-3232
To apply to Alicia online, please click here.
Tom Blackburne: 916-338-3232
Mick Carlson: 574-855-6292
To apply to Mick online, please click here.
Sure-Fire Method to Predict the Election
"I knew Obama was going to win. I knew this little secret. Use it next time there is an election and see if it doesn't work out. The guy who wins the presidential election is usually the guy who kills Osama bin Laden." --David Letterman
We're Now Making Home Loans in California
For the past 31 years Blackburne & Sons has exclusively been a commercial lender. That has now changed. We are now aggressively seeking non-owner-occupied home loans in California. (Sorry, folks, we are ONLY licensed to make non-owner-occupied home loans in California. We cannot make home loans in any other state; but we will make commercial loans nationwide.)
Got a nationwide commercial deal or a California non-owner-occupied residential deal? Please call your California Loan Officer:
Alicia Gandy at 916-338-3232
Chicago Politics Joke
"President Obama easily won his home state of Illinois. In fact, in Chicago Obama got 120 percent of the vote. -- Jay Leno
Close Your Commercial Loans Using C-Loans.com
Brokers just like you have closed over 1,000 commercial loans totaling over $1 billion. And C-Loans.com is free!
(click to enlarge)
Earn Big Referral Fees. We've Made It Really Easy.
Blackburne & Sons will pay you a referral fee of 20% of our loan fee, just for providing us with the name and the phone number of a prospective commercial mortgage borrower. We once paid a referral fee of $21,250 to a guy named Alan Dunn.
Just click here to refer us a commercial loan.
Hilarious Practical Joke
One year at Thanksgiving, my mom went to my sister's house for the traditional feast. Knowing how gullible my sister is, my mom decided to play a trick. She told my sister that she needed something from the store. When my sister left, my mom took the turkey out of the oven, removed the stuffing, stuffed a Cornish hen,and inserted it into the turkey, and re-stuffed the turkey. She then placed the bird(s) back in the oven. When it was time for dinner, my sister pulled the turkey out of the oven and proceeded to remove the stuffing. When her serving spoon hit something, she reached in and pulled out the little bird. With a look of total shock on her face, my mother exclaimed, "Patricia, you've cooked a pregnant bird!" At the reality of this horrifying news, my sister started to cry. It took the family two hours to convince her that turkeys lay eggs!
Nine-Hour Video Course on How to Broker Commercial Mortgage Loans
This is George's bread-and-butter course that teaches you how to market for commercial loans, how to underwrite them (the ratios), how to place them, and how to collect your fee. Thousands of very happy commercial mortgage brokers have taken this course. This course is different from George's new Practice Course. Details.
Mars Curiosity Update
This is NOT a joke. Scientists at NASA stated this week that the Mars Rover has made an immense discovery, one large enough "for the history books." They are double-checking their numbers right now before they formally make the announcement. Have they discovered life on Mars? It sure sounds like it.
Now Is the Time to Jump Into Hard Money!
Four-hour training course, How to Find Your Own Private Mortgage Investors. $499. Please click here for details.
Buy Commercial Leads
You can buy commercial leads from C-Loans for just $1 to $9 apiece, plus 37.5 bps. when the deal closes.
A lawyer and two friends, a rabbi and a Hindu holy man, had car trouble in the countryside and asked to spend the night with a farmer. The farmer said, "There might be a problem; you see, I only have room for two to sleep, so one of you must sleep in the barn." "No problem," chimed the rabbi. "My people wandered in the desert for forty years. I am humble enough to sleep in the barn for an evening." With that, he departed to the barn and the others bedded down for the night.
Moments later, a knock was heard at the door, and the farmer opened it. There stood the rabbi from the barn. "What's wrong?" asked the farmer. He replied, "I'm grateful to you, but I can't sleep in the barn. There is a pig in the barn, and my faith believes that is an unclean animal." His Hindu friend agreed to swap places with him.
But a few minutes later, the same scene recurred. There was a knock on the door. "What's wrong now?" the farmer asked. The Hindu holy man replied, "I too am grateful for your helping us out, but there is a cow in the barn, and in my country cows are considered sacred. I can't sleep on holy ground!" Well, that left only the lawyer to make the change. He grumbled and complained, but he went out to the barn.
Moments later, there was another knock on the farmer's door. Frustrated and tired, the farmer opened the door, and there stood ... the pig and the cow.