MORTGAGE STUFF (C-Loans Client Letter)
You are receiving this letter because you are a commercial mortgage broker client of either Blackburne & Sons or C-Loans, Inc. Removal instructions are below. Today George will explain in plain English what Bernanke is trying to do with Quantitative Easing III. And of course we have lots of great jokes, gags, and fun pictures too.
Joke Du Jour
I was driving when I saw the flash of a traffic camera. I figured that my picture had been taken for speeding, even though I knew I wasn’t. Just to be sure, I went around the block and passed the same spot, driving even more slowly. But again the camera flashed. Thinking this was pretty funny, I drove past even slower three more times, laughing as the camera snapped away each time while I drove by it at a snail’s pace. Two weeks later, I got five tickets in the mail for driving without a seat belt.
Blackburne & Sons Just Had the Best Month in Its 32-Year History
Blackburne & Sons makes hard money commercial loans on multifamily properties, office building, retail buldings, industrial buildings, self storage projects, mobile home parks, restaurants, and bars. Last month was our best month ever.
Our absolute favorite property type will surprise you - farmland. Did you know that farmland is the only property type to appreciate during the Great Recession?
To apply for a private money commercial loan from Blackburne & Sons, please find your favorite loan officer below:
Alicia Gandy: 916-338-3232
To apply to Alicia online, please click here.
Tim Brannan: 916-338-3232
To apply to Tim online, please click here.
Mick Carlson: 574-855-6292
To apply to Mick online, please click here.
When our client’s dog lapped up some anti-freeze, the veterinarian I work for ordered a unique treatment: an IV drip mixing fluids with vodka. "Go buy the cheapest bottle you can find," he told me. At the liquor store, I was uneasy buying cheap booze so early in the day, and I felt compelled to explain things to the clerk. "Believe it or not," I said, "this is for a sick dog." As I was leaving, the next customer plunked down two bottles of muscatel and announced, "These are for my cats."
Bernanke and the Fed Just Announced Quantitative Easing III. What Are They Doing?
Last week, the Federal Reserve adopted an open-ended bond-buying program of $40 billion a month to goad the economy into faster growth. At a news conference, Fed Chairman Ben Bernanke explained what the Fed hopes will happen.
By buying mortgages, the Fed would push interest rates down. They're already low and would fall further. Lower rates would stimulate more homebuying and construction. Greater housing demand would raise home prices. Fewer homeowners would be "underwater". Banks would refinance more existing mortgages at lower rates because the collateral - the homes - would be worth more.
Feeling wealthier, homeowners would spend more and cause businesses to hire more. Good news would feed on itself. The brighter outlook would boost stock prices (the Dow jumped 206.5 points the day of the Fed's announcement). This rebuilds Americans' depleted wealth. Optimism, consumer spending and hiring would revive even more.
Will it work? I dunno, but there is an old saying, "Don't fight the Fed." If the Fed wants higher stock prices, it will probably get them.
Michelle Obama's Arms
Those of you who watched Michelle Obama's speech at the Democratic National Convention may have noticed that her arms were buff, toned, and quite frankly, very attractive. Even the late-night talk show hosts noticed:
"Today, the Democrats added the word ‘God’ to the official party platform. It’s in the part that reads, ‘Did you see Michelle Obama’s biceps? Oh, my God!’" -- Conan O'Brien
We're Now Making Home Loans in California
For the past 31 years Blackburne & Sons has exclusively been a commercial lender. That has now changed. We are now aggressively seeking non-owner-occupied home loans in California. (Sorry, folks, we are ONLY licensed to make non-owner-occupied home loans in California. We cannot make home loans in any other state; but we will make commercial loans nationwide.)
Got a nationwide commercial deal or a California non-owner-occupied residential deal? Please call your California Loan Officer:
Alicia Gandy at 916-338-3232
Tim Brannan at 916-338-3232
"It is day two of the Democratic convention, and apparently they had a huge lighting problem in the convention hall today. They worked all day on it. They still couldn’t get President Obama out of Bill Clinton’s shadow." -- Jay Leno
Apparently former President Clinton did such a great job explaining the Great Recession that one political analyst joked in a tweet, "Obama should appoint Bill Clinton Secretary of Explaining Stuff (although in the real tweet the pundit used a different word than stuff)."
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Look Carefully At This Picture
(click to enlarge)
Earn Big Referral Fees. We've Made It Really Easy.
Blackburne & Sons will pay you a referral fee of 20% of our loan fee, just for providing us with the name and the phone number of a prospective commercial mortgage borrower. We once paid a referral fee of $21,250 to a guy named Alan Dunn.
Just click here to refer us a commercial loan.
A daffy girl was hunched over the bar, toothpick in hand, spearing futilely at the olive in her drink. A dozen times the olive eluded her. Finally, another patron, who had been watching intently from the next stool, became exasperated and grabbed the toothpick. "Here, this is how you do it." he said, as he easily skewered the olive. "Big deal," muttered the daffy girl. "I already had him so tired out, he couldn't get away."
Nine-Hour Video Course on How to Broker Commercial Mortgage Loans
I've been originating commercial loans for 32 years now. You will find this training to be very practical. It's all about making money. Details.
Mars Curiosity Update
The rover, Curiosity, has successfully landed on Mars. It has surveyed the surface of the planet, taken soils samples, and provided magnificent photos. However, the rover has been unable to detect any signs of ESPN, beer, or football - definitively proving, once and for all, that men are not from Mars!
Now Is the Time to Jump Into Hard Money!
Four-hour training course, How to Find Your Own Private Mortgage Investors. $499. Please click here for details.
Buy Commercial Leads
You can buy commercial leads from C-Loans for just $1 to $9 apiece, plus 37.5 bps. when the deal closes.
Final Funny (PG-13)
This joke is pretty funny, but its also a little racy. Read on at your own risk.
After a long night of making love, the young guy rolled over, pulled out a cigarette from his jeans and searched for his lighter. Unable to find it, he asked the girl if she had one at hand. "There might be some matches in the top drawer," she replied. He opened the drawer of the bedside table and found a box of matches sitting neatly on top of a framed picture of another man. Naturally, the guy began to worry. "Is this your husband?" he inquired nervously. "No, silly," she replied, snuggling up to him. "Your boyfriend then?" he asked. "No, not at all," she said, nibbling away at his ear. "Well, who is he then?" demanded the bewildered guy. Calmly, the girl replied, "That's me before the operation."