MORTGAGE STUFF (C-Loans Client Letter)
You are receiving this letter because you are a commercial mortgage broker client of either Blackburne & Sons or C-Loans, Inc. Removal instructions are below. Today C-Loans announces that we will pay mortgage brokers big money to introduce us to bankers.
Joke Du Jour
Diane buys a hundred goldfish. There are so many of them that she decides to keep them in her bathtub. One day she invites her friend, Lauren, over to see all her beautiful goldfish. Lauren is impressed, and remarks, "They surely are beautiful, but what do you do when you want to take a bath?" Diane replies, "I blindfold them."
Blackburne & Sons is Now Making Home Loans (Non-Owner in California Only)
For the past 31 years Blackburne & Sons has exclusively been a commercial lender. That has now changed. We are now aggressively seeking non-owner residential loans in California. (Sorry, folks, we are ONLY licensed to make non-owner-occupied home loans in California. We cannot make home loans in any other state; but we will make commercial loans nationwide.)
The reason you should bring your non-owner-occupied home loans in California to us is because we only charge two points! And if the deal needs it and deserves it, we might even make the loan at par - no points! On par deals, the mortgage broker is limited to a maximum of 1/2 point. On normal two-point deals, there is no limit.
Got a deal? Please call Alicia Gandy at 916-338-3232.
Old Testament Joke
A pastor was giving a lesson to a group of children on the 23rd Psalm. He noticed that one of the little boys seemed disquieted by the phrase "Surely, goodness and mercy will follow me all the days of my life..." "What's wrong with that, Johnny?" the pastor asked. "Well," answered Johnny, "I understand about having goodness and mercy, for God is good; but I'm not sure I'd like Shirley following me around all the time."
Meet George in Las Vegas
Four months ago I accepted an invitation from Leonard Rosen to be a panelist at his hard money lending seminar in Las Vegas. Folks, I was immensely impressed. Leonard Rosen is a warm, generous man; and more importantly, his training course is the real deal. If you have ever dreamed of becoming a hard money lender yourself, you simply must attend.
You should come and meet me personally on July 28th at the Monte Carlo Resort and Casino at Leonard Rosen's next 8-hour seminar. At this conference, you'll learn how to become a hard money lender and earn residual income, in addition to just loan origination fees. You'll learn how to become the banker and to finally have control over your deals. You'll learn the hidden secrets of the hard money industry.
For more information, please click here.
Tom Jones Joke
"Doc," explained the patient, "I can't stop singing, What's New Pussycat?" "That sounds like Tom Jones Syndrome," replied the doctor. "Is it common?" asked the patient. "Well," replied the the doctor, "It's Not Unusual."
Anyone notice that clever segue ... Las Vegas right into a Tom Jones joke?
Here's a Totally New Source of Income for You
You probably know some bank loan officers who are making commercial real estate loans. If you sell them on joining C-Loans as a lender (which is easy because it costs them nothing), we will pay you $500 every time they close a commercial loan for a C-Loans user.
Got a banker in mind? Please call Tom Blackburne at 574-210-6686 or click here for more information.
But you better hurry. It's a race to sign up loan officers. One commercial loan officer has closed over 50 loans for us, and he has only been on C-Loans for 8 years. He probably won't retire for another 15 years. You could have gotten paid $500 on 125 different closings!
I was walking down an alley last night, when I heard, "Help! Help!" coming from behind a dumpster. Two thugs were trying to steal an old lady's handbag, but she was putting up a heck of a fight and wouldn't let go. I wondered if I should get involved or keep walking and pretend I didn't see anything. I finally decided that I should help. She was a tough old bird, but the three of us finally got that handbag.
The Year of the DPO?
It seems like every other loan that Blackburne & Sons does this year involves a bank taking a discounted pay-off ("DPO"). We love these deals.
Blackburne & Sons is a private money lender that is looking for permanent loans, or discounted notes to purchase, on standing commercial properties nationwide, up to a maximum of $1.5 million. Sorry, no construction loans or land loans.
Got a deal? Please call Alicia Gandy at 916-338-3232.
Cowboy: "Well, I suppose you've been all right. You've been a decent horse, I guess. A bit slow sometimes, but a decent horse, and..."
Horse: "No, you idiot! I didn't ask you for FEEDBACK! I said I wanted my FEEDBAG!"
Free Tool to Place Commercial Loans
If you are trying to place a commercial loan, my advice is to always input your deal into C-Loans.com first. Once you have invested four minutes to input your loan, you can quickly and easily submit your commercial loan to 750 different commercial mortgage lenders, six lenders at a time.
Does it work? C-Loans has already closed over 1,000 different commercial loans totaling over $1 billion. And best of all, C-Loans is free!
Memory Problem Joke
Patient: "Doctor, I have a serious memory problem. I can't remember anything!"
Doctor: "So, how long have you had this problem?"
Patient: "What problem?"
Different List of 1,200 Commercial Lenders
Every day our staff attorney solicits at least a half-dozen different commercial lenders to join C-Loans.com. Not every commercial mortgage lender signs up. Over the past three years we have compiled a list of over 1,200 commercial lenders - a totally different set of the lenders than the 750 commercial lenders on C-Loans.
You can now buy this entire list of 1,200 commercial lenders (all different from those on C-Loans) for just $39.95. Just go to CommercialLenders.com.
When I asked my friend if she was planning to attend church, she just shook her head. "I haven't gone in a long time," she said. "Besides, it's too late for me. I've probably already broken all seven commandments."
Line of Credit for Property Flippers in California
Are you buying California foreclosures and then flipping them? If so, please call me, George Blackburne, at 574-360-2486. I have a special line of credit program that you'll love.
We can go up to 60% loan-to-value on purchases of foreclosed property without appraisals. The rate is 8.9% and the fee is 3.5 points. These are 1-year loans, with the option of extending, for an additional fee, for one more year.
The minimum loan is $500,000, and the maximum loan is $10 million. These bridge loans can be used to either buy homes or commercial property. There is no prepayment penalty.
Remember, the property must be located in California. (This line of credit product is NOT available in other states.) If you have a deal in California, please call me, George Blackburne, on my cell phone at 574-360-2486. Did I mention California only?
Two missionaries were apprehended by a tribe of very hostile cannibals, who put them in a large pot of water, built a huge fire under it, and left them there. A few minutes later, one of the missionaries started to laugh uncontrollably. The other missionary couldn't believe it! He said, "What's wrong with you? We're being boiled alive! They're gonna eat us! What could possibly be funny at a time like this?" The other missionary replied, "I just peed in the soup!"
Follow the Old Man on Twitter
You can follow George Blackburne III on Twitter and keep abreast of developments in commercial real estate finance and the economy.
Auto Insurance Joke
Recently launched into the "real world" and shocked by the expenses that came with it, my brother was complaining about the high cost of auto insurance. "If you got married," teased my dad, "the premium would be much lower." My brother smiled and said, "Dad, that would be like buying an airline just to get free peanuts."
Really Learn Commercial Mortgage Finance
Every time I speak or exhibit at a trade show, grateful commercial mortgage brokers come up to me and pump my hand. "George," they tell me, "several years ago I bought your commercial mortgage brokering course, and it was fantastic!"
This really happens. Honest. Nine-hour video training course, How to Broker Commercial Mortgage Loans. $499. For more details, please call my son, Tom Blackburne, at 574- 210-6686.
Extra Mile Joke
Driving down the highway, I saw this slogan on the back of a well-known trucking company's vehicle: "We Always Go the Extra Mile." In the grime beneath it, someone had scrawled, "That's Because We Missed the Last Exit."
You Need Loan Servicing Income
The fastest and easiest way to build a loan servicing portfolio is to become a hard money lender. Our four-hour video course, How to Find Your Own Private Mortgage Investors, is just $499.
Dairy Queen Joke
"A Dairy Queen in Canada broke a world record this week by creating a 10-ton ice cream dessert. Or as we call that in America, 'a medium.'" -- Jimmy Fallon
Breaking My Heart
My younger son, Tommy, is not moving to Plymouth when his lady graduates from Purdue in August. They have decided to take my granddaughter to Sacramento, California; to be close to the office there and to his older brother and best friend, George. One of the great joys of my life is the close relationship between my two sons.
Unfortunately for Cisca and me, we will now only get to see them on Skype. [Sob] What does a guy do when all he ever wanted to do was be a dad?
Sounds like RV time to me! "Hello, sons! Your mother and I have decided to stay for seven months." :-)
Home Schooling Joke
"I was home schooled, which meant that I had to bully myself." -- Dave Letterman
Buy Commercial Leads for Just $1 to $2 Each
Most lead sellers want $20 to $50 apiece for commercial leads. C-Loans sells them for just $1 to $2 each - plus 37.5 basis points if you close the loan. Call Tom Blackburne at 574-936-6814 or click here for more details.
"Anybody who doesn't know what soap tastes like never washed a dog." -- Franklin P. Jones
Consult with George for Just $375/Hour
With just a 30 to 60 minute consultation I may be able to help you with your commercial mortgage marketing, your underwriting, your placement of a particular commercial deal, or your fee collection problems. Click here for details.
Final Funny (Long But Very Cute)
Jimmy: "Hey, Mike! How's your new pet fish doing? You told me he was really something special."
Mike: "To tell the truth, I'm really disappointed in him. The guy who sold him to me said I could teach him to sing like a bird."
Jimmy: "What? Let me get this straight... You bought a fish because you thought you could teach him to sing like a bird?"
Mike: "Well, yeah. After all, you know, he's a parrot fish."
Jimmy: "Now listen, Mike, while you might be able to teach a parrot to sing, you're never going to get anywhere with a parrot fish."
Mike: "That's what you think! It just so happens this fish CAN sing. The thing is, he's terribly off-key, and it's driving me crazy. Do you know how hard it is to tuna fish?"