MORTGAGE STUFF (C-Loans Client Letter)
You are receiving this letter because you are a commercial mortgage broker client of either Blackburne & Sons or C-Loans, Inc. Removal instructions are below. Today we'll talk about the Year of the Hard Money Lender.
Joke Du Jour
A small boy is sent to bed by his father. Five minutes later: "Da-ad..." "What?" "I'm thirsty. Can you bring a drink of water?" "No, you had your chance. Lights out." Five minutes later: "Da-aaaad..." "WHAT?" "I'm THIRSTY. Can I have a drink of water?" "I told you NO! If you ask again, I'll have to spank you!" Five minutes later: "Daaaa-aaaad..." "WHAT!" "When you come in to spank me, can you bring a drink of water?"
George Interviewed By The Real Estate Guys Radio
The Real Estate Guys have a radio program that is downloaded weekly by tens of thousands of listeners as a free podcast from iTunes. This week George Blackburne III (the old man - in other words, me) was the guest speaker on the show entitled, Commercial Lending Challenges and Opportunities. Click here to listen to the show. It's worth a listen because it will tell you where to focus your mortgage brokerage efforts in 2011.
Funny Pickup Line
The guy walks over to the girl and says, "Fat penguin." She says, "Whaaat?" He smiles modestly and says, "I just wanted to say something that would break the ice..."
The Year of the Hard Money Lender
It is a fundamental tenet of economics that outrageous profits breeds competition. And this is exactly what we need in commercial real estate finance right now. We need for private commercial lenders to make immense returns for the next year or two so that the banks will be enticed by envy and greed to return to the market.
Until banks are drooling over the fortunes amassed by private lenders from freshly made commercial loans, don't try to place your commercial loans with banks. You are just doomed to frustration. Instead, bring your commercial loans to hard money lenders like Blackburne & Sons.
"ABC did a big report on 'ginger abuse,' a form of bullying aimed at people with red hair. Unfortunately, I missed it because my cameramen were giving me a wedgie." -- Conan O'Brien
Blackburne & Sons is Hungry for Hard Money Commercial Loans
The absolute best way to understand what kind of deals a commercial lender is looking for is to look at some of the deals they have recently funded. Here is a list of some of the loans that Blackburne & Sons is currently syndicating.
Got a hard money commercial loan? Please call Alicia Gandy at 916-338-3232 or email her at email@example.com.
Precious Little Tot Joke
Pajama-clad tot calling out to family, "I'm going upstairs to say my prayers now. Anyone want anything?"
Lots of New Hard Money Lenders Join C-Loans
Earlier I mentioned that this is the Year of the Hard Money Lender. Lots of new hard money lending companies are forming, and over 50 of them have now joined C-Loans.com. And unlike the banks, these hard money lenders actually want to close loans. Remember, our commercial mortgage portal, known as C-Loans.com, is free!
Special Day Joke
Over breakfast one morning, a woman said to her husband, "I'll bet you don't know what day this is." "Of course I do," he answered, as if he was offended, and left for the office. At 10:00 a.m., the doorbell rang and when the woman opened the door, she was handed a box of a dozen long stemmed red roses. At 1:00 p.m., a foil-wrapped, two-pound box of her favorite chocolates was delivered. Later, a boutique delivered a designer dress. The woman couldn't wait for her husband to come home. "First the flowers, then the chocolates and then the dress!" she exclaimed. "I've never had a more wonderful Groundhog Day in my life!"
Line of Credit for Property Flippers in California
Are you buying California foreclosures and then flipping them? If so, please call me, George Blackburne, at 574-360-2486. I have a special line of credit program that you'll love.
We can go up to 60% loan-to-value on purchases of foreclosed property without appraisals. The rate is 8.9% and the fee is 3.5 points. These are 1-year loans, with the option of extending, for an additional fee, for one more year.
The minimum loan is $500,000, and the maximum loan is $10 million. These bridge loans can be used to either buy homes or commercial property. There is no prepayment penalty.
Remember, the property must be located in California. (This line of credit product is NOT available in other states.) If you have a deal in California, please call me, George Blackburne, on my cell phone at 574-360-2486. Did I mention California only?
Bachelor Party Joke
Q: How do you know you're at a bulimic bachelor party? A: When the cake jumps out of the girl!
Follow the Old Man on Twitter
You can follow George Blackburne III on Twitter and keep abreast of developments in commercial real estate finance and the economy.
Drunk Elephants Joke
Q: Why do elephants drink so much? A: To try to forget.
They Actually Discovered the Lost City of Atlantis
I'm not joking. The announcement was made today. They found it buried under an immense layer of mud in some salt flats on the coast of Spain. Just like in Japan, Atlantis was suddenly buried by a tsunami and a 30-foot wave of water, mud, and debris, caused by an immense earthquake 2,600 years ago.
Reuse Our Video Training Course Over and Over
If you order our famous 9-hour video course, How to Broker Commercial Mortgage Loans, you can use this training course again and again to train new loan agents in your office. The cost is still only $499.
This wife tells the story: When the icemaker in our new refrigerator broke, my husband dropped by the store to arrange for repairs. Because the sun was bright, my husband's eyes hadn't adjusted to the dim light inside in time to see a woman sitting on the floor examining carpet samples. He stepped on her leg, and she screamed, causing him to jump into a display of fireplace tools that went crashing in every direction. Unnerved, my husband stumbled over to the service desk, and as he went to rest his hands on the counter, he flipped over a bowl full of little mints, scattering them everywhere. After taking a deep breath to calm himself, he announced to the wide-eyed woman working there, "My refrigerator doesn't work." "I don't doubt it," she replied.
You Need Loan Servicing Income
The fastest and easiest way to build a loan servicing portfolio is to become a hard money lender. Our four-hour video course, How to Find Your Own Private Mortgage Investors, is just $499.
In a grocery store a cashier held up a small dairy carton and yelled to a co-worker, "How much is half-and-half?" Without a moment's hesitation the other cashier replied, "One."
Buy Commercial Leads for Just $1 to $2 Each
Most lead sellers want $20 to $50 apiece for commercial leads. C-Loans sells them for just $1 to $2 each - plus 37.5 basis points if you close the loan. Click here for more details.
One day at the veterinarian's office where I take my cat, a man and the receptionist were verbally sparring. After a few moments a technician came to her co-worker's defense. "Sir," she interjected, "do you know what happens to aggressive males in this office?"
Consult with George for Just $375/Hour
With just a 30 to 60 minute consultation I may be able to help you with your commercial mortgage marketing, your underwriting, your placement of a particular commercial deal, or your fee collection problems. Click here for details.
Disturbing Blog Article
I blogged recently on how as many as 35% of all commercial properties may never find tenants again.
Warning: This last joke might be rated PG-13; but its pretty funny.
A bear walks into a bar in Billings, Montana and sits down. He bangs on the bar with his paw and demands a beer. The bartender approaches and says, "We don't serve beer to bears in bars in Billings." The bear, becoming angry, demands again that he be served a beer. The bartender tells him again, more forcefully, "We don't serve beer to belligerent bears in bars in Billings." The bear, very angry now, says, "If you don't serve me a beer, I'm going to eat that lady sitting at the end of the bar." The bartender then says, "Sorry, we don't serve beer to belligerent, bully bears in bars in Billings" The bear goes to the end of the bar, and, as promised, eats the woman. He comes back to his seat and again demands a beer. The bartender states, "Sorry, we don't serve beer to belligerent, bully bears in bars in Billings who are on drugs." The bear says, "I'm NOT on drugs." Then the bartender says, "You are now. That was a barbitchyouate."