STUFF (C-Loans.com Client Letter)
You are receiving this letter because you are a commercial mortgage broker client of either Blackburne & Brown or C-Loans, Inc. Removal instructions are below. Today we'll talk about the slaughter in the hard money commercial lending business.
Joke Du Jour
This lady tells the story: Pulling into the crowded parking lot at the shopping center, I rolled down the car windows to make sure my puppy had fresh air. She was stretched full out on the back seat, and I wanted to impress upon her that she must remain there. I walked to the curb backwards, pointing my finger at the car and saying emphatically, "Now you stay. Do you hear me? Stay! Stay!" The driver of a nearby car, a pretty young lady, gave me a strange look and said, "Why don't you just put it in park?"
Massacre at the Little Big Horn
I was speaking with a buddy of mine , a hard money broker, this week. He's been building a list of all of the hard money brokers who have gone belly-up or stopped making hard money real estate loans in the past two years. Take a guess at their combined loan servicing portfolios when they hit the wall. Would you believe $6.5 BILLION?!! Yikes. This includes the enormous failures of companies like Mortgages, Limited in Arizona and USA Commercial Capital in Nevada.
New Baby Joke
This gal wrote: Stationed in Okinawa, Japan, my son and his wife were expecting their first baby. I was elated when he called me at work all the way from Japan with the news of my grandchild's birth. I took down all the statistics and turned to relate it all to my co-workers. "I'm a grandmother!" I declared. "It's a baby girl, and she weighs five pounds." "When was she born?" someone asked. Recalling the date my son told me, I stopped, looked at the calendar, and said in amazement, "Tomorrow!"
How Hard Money Brokers Raise Their Dough
There are three ways that a hard money broker can raise dough to lend. One way is to syndicate a different group of private investors for every loan. The second way way is to build a mortgage fund. A third method, used by some East Coast firms, is to use a line of credit from a bank.
Almost every major hard money mortgage fund in the country is now in dissolution. They got caught with a belly full of condo construction loans and land loans when the music started.
In addition, most of those hard money mortgage companies that borrowed heavily from the bank are now in bankruptcy. Ouch.
The only hard money that is being raised today is when the broker syndicates a fresh group of private investors to specifically fund each deal.
Little Camel Joke
Max, the little camel, walks into his parents' room at 3 a.m. and asks for a glass of water. "Another one?" complains his father. "That's the second glass this month."
Moral of the Story
The moral of the story is that if you are a commercial mortgage broker on commission, you should NOT work on large, hard money deals - deals of over $2.5 million. You'll never be able to get them funded. Nobody still resides at the Little Big Horn.
"There are only two things a child will share willingly - communicable diseases and his mother's real age." -- Anonymous
Blackburne & Brown is Hungry for Loans
Blackburne & Brown is hungry to make commercial first mortgage loans, up to $1.5 million, anywhere in the country. In the past few months we have made loans on an office condo, a boarding house, an industrial condo, an office building, a gentleman's club, a trailer park, a care home, some farm land, and a retail building.
Need a commercial loan? Please call Mike Thurman at 916-338-3232 or email him at email@example.com.
Flight Attendant Joke
To pass the time while our plane was being de-iced, the flight attendants played a trivia game with the passengers. They asked us to guess the total number of years the three of them had worked for the airlines. After an attendant collected our estimates, we heard the announcement: "The correct answer is 26 years. For the two people who came closest with 28 years, we have prizes. And for the passenger in seat 12F who guessed 85 years, would you please step off the plane once we are airborne?"
We're Buying Discounted Notes
Blackburne & Brown is regularly buying small commercial first mortgage notes at a discount. If you're handy with a calculator, start by finding the present value of the note for a desired yield of 12%. We'll pay 97% of that present value (the 3% difference is our 3 point loan fee), less about $1,500 for expenses.
Got a commercial first mortgage note that a bank or some private note holder wants to sell? Please call Tim Brannan at 916-338-3232 or email him at firstname.lastname@example.org.
An 18-year-old women - a pretty, young folk singer - was attacked by two coyotes while walking in the woods in Nova Scotia this week. She was bitten so many times that she bled to death in the arms of her rescuers. Here in Indiana, a number of small dogs have been taken from their own backyards by coyotes and eaten. Yikes.
Farm Land Loans
We love farm land here at Blackburne & Brown. In fact, our Equity Preservation Fund actually syndicates wealthy California investors to buy farm land for all cash.
It should therefore not be surprising to learn that we recently funded a commercial loan on 780 acres of farm land in Minnesota. The terms were 12.9%, 2.5 points, 30 years amortized, due in 15 years, no prepayment penalty.
Got a farm land loan? Please call Alicia Gandy at 916-338-3232 or email her at email@example.com.
Send It Back Joke
Not long ago I met the waitress of my dreams. About halfway through dinner I called the waitress over and said, "Ma'am, this potato is bad." She nodded, picked up the potato and smacked it. Then she put it back on my plate and said, "Sir, if that potato causes any more trouble, you just let me know."
Got an "A" Quality Commercial Loan?
There are over 8,000 banks in America, and a few of them are still actively making commercial loans. Often they are the smaller, obscure banks who were not hurt in the subprime meltdown. You can submit your commercial loan to hundreds of such banks using C-Loans.com. And C-Loans is free!
What on Earth is a Barsexual?
My mother-in-law was watching one of those disgusting, afternoon talks shows when I walked by. On the TV an attractive, but otherwise forgettable, college girl was defining a barsexual. Apparently a barsexual is a gal who kisses other girls in order to excite and attract the boys! Holy mackerel... Stuff like that never happened when I was a bachelor.
Reuse Our Video Training Course Over and Over
If you order our famous 9-hour video course, How to Broker Commercial Mortgage Loans, you can use this training course again and again to train new loan agents in your office. The cost is still only $499.
"The movie 'Paranormal Activity' is out. It's movie where a couple puts a camcorder in their bedroom to film the things that go bump in the night...and also to see if anything happens with ghosts." -- Craig Ferguson
You Need Loan Servicing Income
The fastest and easiest way to build a loan servicing portfolio is to become a hard money lender. Our four-hour video course, How to Find Your Own Private Mortgage Investors, is just $499.
Sock Puppet Joke
Bring a sock puppet with you to the restaurant. When asked for your order, consult the sock and talk to the sock throughout the meal. When you get the check, argue with the sock about who should pay. Then say, "Fine! You pay," throw the sock on the table and walk out.
Train Your Entire Staff in Commercial in One Day
You are paying a fortune to keep your doors open. You can't afford to throw away good commercial leads. For only $5,000 I will fly out to your office and train your entire staff in commercial mortgage marketing, underwriting, packaging, placement, and fee collection. Suddenly your income potential doubles with no increase in monthly overhead. I have already trained more than 50 companies. For details please call Alicia Gandy at 916-338-3232..
Report Card Comment
When your son's IQ reaches 50, he should sell.
Buy Commercial Leads for Just $1 to $2 Each
Most lead sellers want $20 to $50 apiece for commercial leads. C-Loans sells them for just $1 to $2 each - plus 37.5 basis points if you close the loan. Click here for more details.
A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said: "Keep off the Grass."
Consult with George for Just $375/Hour
With just a 30 to 60 minute consultation I may be able to help you with your commercial mortgage marketing, your underwriting, your placement of a particular commercial deal, or your fee collection problems. Click here for details.
Time Flies Joke
Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
Blackburne & Brown Can Raise Equity
As a commercial mortgage broker, you are used to raising debt dollars - helping borrowers get loans. But you can also make 2 points raising equity dollars.
What is equity money? Suppose a developer can raise 30% of the cost of the project, but the conservative bank insists that he raise 45% of the total cost. Blackburne & Brown may be willing to raise the balance of the equity.
Here's another example. Suppose a borrower has an $850,000 balloon payment, but the bank will only refinance $700,000? Where is he going to get the $150,000 difference? Answer: Blackburne & Brown.
Got an equity deal? Please call me, George Blackburne, personally at 574-360-2486 or email me at firstname.lastname@example.org.
The coach had put together the perfect team for the Detroit Lions. The only thing that was missing was a good quarterback. He had scouted all the colleges and even the Canadian and European Leagues, but he couldn't find a ringer who could ensure a Super Bowl win.
Then one night, while watching CNN, he saw a war-zone scene in Afghanistan. In one corner of the background, he spotted a young Afghan Muslim soldier with a truly incredible arm. He threw a hand-grenade straight into a 15th story window 100 yards away.
He threw another hand-grenade 75 yards away, right into a chimney.
Then he threw another at a passing car going 90 mph.
"I've got to get this guy!" Coach said to himself. "He has the perfect arm!" So, he brings him to the States and teaches him the great game of football. And the Lions go on to win the Super Bowl.
The young Afghan is hailed as the great hero of football, and when the coach asks him what he wants, all the young man wants is to call his mother. "Mom," he says into the phone, "I just won the Super Bowl!"
"I don't want to talk to you, the old Muslim woman says. "You deserted us. You are not my son!"
"I don't think you understand, Mother," the young man pleads "I've won the greatest sporting event in the world. I'm here among thousands of my adoring fans."
"No! Let me tell you!" his mother retorts. "At this very moment, there are gunshots all around us. The neighborhood is a pile of rubble. Your two brothers were beaten within an inch of their lives last week, and I have to keep your sister in the house so she doesn't get attacked!" The old lady pauses, and then tearfully says,"I will never forgive you for making us move to Detroit!"