STUFF (C-Loans.com Client Letter)
You are receiving this letter because you are a commercial mortgage broker client of either Blackburne & Brown or C-Loans, Inc. Removal instructions are below. Today we'll discuss some unusual commercial lending niches - hypothecations, discounted notes and agricultural loans - that might make you some dough.
Joke Du Jour
A four-year-old little boy was at the doctor's office with his mother in the waiting room when he spotted a pregnant lady on the other side of the room. Having nothing better to do, he walked over to her and inquisitively asked, "Why is your stomach so big?" She replied, "I'm having a baby." With big eyes, he replied, "Is the baby in your stomach?" She said, "He sure is." Then the little boy, with a puzzled look on his face, asked yet another question: "Is it a good baby?" She said, "Oh, yes. It's a real good baby." At this point the woman was thinking the little boy was incredibly cute and looked forward to what he had to say next. And, much to her surprise, with an even more surprised and shocked look than before, he asked, "Then why did you eat him?"
What on Earth is a Hypothecation?
You could have gone to our commercial real estate finance blog and used the cool new search feature to find all of our articles on "hypothecations."
For now, however, just think of a hypothecation as a loan against a loan. Let's suppose an investor carries back a $1 million first mortgage when he sells his free-and-clear office building. Blackburne & Brown might make an $800,000 hypothecation loan against it.
The typical terms would be 12.9%, 3 points, 15 years fully-amortized, and no prepayment penalty. Typically we'll lend about about 75% to 80% of the face value of the first mortgage note being hypothecated.
Thrown in Air Joke
"When I was a baby, my father used to throw me up in the air... and then answer the phone." -- Rita Rudner
We're Buying Discounted Notes
Blackburne & Brown is regularly buying small commercial first mortgage notes at a discount. If you're handy with a calculator, start by finding the present value of the note for a desired yield of 12%. We'll pay 97% of that present value (the 3% difference is our 3 point loan fee), less about $1,500 for expenses.
Got a commercial first mortgage note that a bank or some private note holder wants to sell? Please call Tim Brannan at 916-338-3232 or email him at email@example.com.
Fifty-one years ago, Herman James, a North Carolina mountain man, was drafted by the Army. On his first day in basic training, the Army issued him a comb. That afternoon the Army barber sheared off all his hair. On his second day, the Army issued Herman a toothbrush. That afternoon the Army dentist yanked seven of his teeth. On the third day, the Army issued him a jock strap.
The Army has been looking for Herman for 51 years.
Farm Land Loans
We love farm land here at Blackburne & Brown. In fact, our Equity Preservation Fund actually syndicates wealthy California investors to buy farm land for all cash.
It should therefore not be surprising to learn that we recently funded a commercial loan on 780 acres of farm land in Minnesota. The terms were 12.9%, 2.5 points, 30 years amortized, due in 15 years, no prepayment penalty.
Got a farm land loan? Please call Alicia Gandy at 916-338-3232 or email her at firstname.lastname@example.org.
This lady wrote: Most of us have a bad habit we are constantly trying to break. For me, it's biting my fingernails. One day I told my husband about my latest solution, press-on nails. "Great idea, honey," he smiled. "You can eat them straight out of the box."
Got an "A" Quality Commercial Loan?
There are over 8,000 banks in America, and a few of them are still actively making commercial loans. Often they are the smaller, obscure banks who were not hurt in the subprime meltdown. You can submit your commercial loan to hundreds of such banks using C-Loans.com. And C-Loans is free!
Boyz II Men Joke
She was so (insert the hair color of your choice) that she thought Boyz II Men was a daycare center.
Private Money Commercial Loans
Blackburne & Brown is still making private money commercial loans nationwide. For the right deal, we might even go as low as 9.9%. Got a commercial deal that is not quite bankable? Please call Mike Thurman at 916-338-3232 or email him at email@example.com.
Ugly Baby Joke
A woman gets onto a bus with her baby. The bus driver says, "That's the ugliest baby that I've ever seen. Ugh!" The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her, "The bus driver just insulted me!" The man says, "There's no call for that. You go right up there and give him a piece of your mind. Go ahead... I'll hold your monkey for you."
Reuse Our Video Training Course Over and Over
If you order our famous 9-hour video course, How to Broker Commercial Mortgage Loans, you can use this training course again and again to train new loan agents in your office. The cost is still only $499.
Hot Dog Joke
"It's autumn in New York. You can tell too. Today I saw a sidewalk vendor putting anti-freeze in the hot dog water." -- Dave Letterman
You Need Loan Servicing Income
The fastest and easiest way to build a loan servicing portfolio is to become a hard money lender. Our four-hour video course, How to Find Your Own Private Mortgage Investors, is just $499.
Did you hear about Adolph, the brown-nosed reindeer? He could run as fast as Rudolph. He just couldn't stop as fast.
Train Your Entire Staff in Commercial in One Day
You are paying a fortune to keep your doors open. You can't afford to throw away good commercial leads. For only $5,000 I will fly out to your office and train your entire staff in commercial mortgage marketing, underwriting, packaging, placement, and fee collection. Suddenly your income potential doubles with no increase in monthly overhead. I have already trained more than 50 companies. For details please call Alicia Gandy at 916-338-3232..
I want my children to have all the things I couldn't afford. Then I want to move in with them.
Buy Commercial Leads for Just $1 to $2 Each
Most lead sellers want $20 to $50 apiece for commercial leads. C-Loans sells them for just $1 to $2 each - plus 37.5 basis points if you close the loan. Click here for more details.
Center of the Universe Joke
"When they discover the center of the universe, a lot of people will be disappointed to discover they are not it." -- Bernard Bailey
Consult with George for Just $375/Hour
With just a 30 to 60 minute consultation I may be able to help you with your commercial mortgage marketing, your underwriting, your placement of a particular commercial deal, or your fee collection problems. Click here for details.
"It's officially fall. You can always tell it's fall in L.A. because the air gets crisper; the days get a little shorter; the leaves turn from on-fire to not-on-fire." -- Jimmy Kimmel
Slowest Commercial Lending Season in Our History
We normally make 45% of our loans for the entire year during the two-month period that runs from September 15th to November 15th. We call this time our "Busy Season," and usually we can predict the start of Busy Season within a day or two.
It is terrifying to note that the last two weeks have been absolutely dead. Our phones are just not ringing. Yikes. I have been predicting a horrible stock market crash in October. I hope I'm not right.
Two Middle East mothers are sitting in a cafe chatting over a plate of tabouli and a pint of goat's milk. The older of the two pulls a bag out of her purse and starts flipping through photos. They start reminiscing. "This is my oldest son Mohammed. He would have been 24 years old now." "Yes, I remember him as a baby," says the other mother cheerfully. "He's a martyr now though," mum confides. "Oh, so sad dear," says the other. "And this is my second son Kalid. He would have been 21." "Oh, I remember him," says the other happily, "he had such curly hair when he was born." "He's a martyr too," says mum quietly. "Oh, gracious me," says the other. "And this is my third son, my baby, my beautiful Ahmed. He would have been 18," she whispers. "Yes," says the friend enthusiastically, "I remember when he first started school." "'He's a martyr also," says mum, with tears in her eyes. After a pause and a deep sigh, the second Muslim mother looks wistfully at the photographs and says, "They blow up so fast, don't they?"