STUFF (C-Loans.com Client Letter)
You are receiving this letter because you are a commercial mortgage broker client of either Blackburne & Brown or C-Loans, Inc. Removal instructions are below. Today we'll discuss the Year of the Bridge Loan and some other depression survival strategies.
Joke Du Jour
Toward the end of a church service, the minister asked the congregation, "How many of you have forgiven your enemies?" All held up their hands except one small elderly lady. "Mrs. Jones? Are you not willing to forgive your enemies?" "I don't have an enemy in the world," she replied, smiling sweetly. "Mrs. Jones, that is very unusual. How old are you?" "I happen to be ninety-eight years young," she replied. "Oh, Mrs. Jones, would you please come down in front and tell us all how a person can live ninety-eight years and not have a single enemy?" The little sweetheart of a lady tottered down the aisle, faced the congregation, and said, "I outlived them all."
You Can Now Use C-Loans.com to Create PDF's
The most successful commercial mortgage brokers in the country seldom use paper loan packages anymore. Instead, they prepare an Executive Loan Summary of their commercial deal in a PDF format, including color photographs of the property. Then they send this PDF loan package to dozens of prospective commercial lenders in just seconds using email.
"Gee, George, I wish I knew how to make PDF's. Unfortunately I'm not that fluent on a computer."
Even a complete novice can now make a very handsome PDF of his commercial deal in just four minutes using C-Loans. I'll explan how in a moment
Two men were walking home after a Halloween party and decided to take a shortcut through the cemetery just for laughs. Right in the middle of the cemetery they were startled by a tap-tap-tapping noise coming from the misty shadows. Trembling with fear, they found an old man with a hammer and chisel, chipping away at one of the headstones. "Holy cow, Mister," one of them said after catching his breath, "You scared us half to death -- we thought you were a ghost! What are you doing working here so late at night?" "Those darned fools!" the old man grumbled. "They misspelled my name!"
Pricing Matrix for Blackburne & Brown
With so many subprime commercial lenders, like Interbay, Silverhill, and Velocity, all puckered up these days, you may want to bring your slightly flawed commercial deals to Blackburne & Brown. Arguably we're the cheapest of the commercial hard money lenders. Here is Blackburne & Brown's pricing matrix for commercial real estate loans. If you print it out right now, it will come in very handy very soon.
I was somewhere in the South, driving a little over the speed limit, when a police officer pulled me over. A big, burly trooper who looked like Sheriff Buford T. Justice from the Smokey and the Bandit movies approached my window and asked me, "You got any I.D.?" "About what?" I replied.
Why You Need a PDF Loan Package
Let's face it. Not every good commercial lender is listed on C-Loans. If you could quickly and easily create PDF's, you could locate other commecial lenders and blast them out a PDF in seconds using email.
New E-Mail Newsletter Service From C-Loans
By sending a regular email newsletter to several hundred referral sources every month, you can build a steady supply of leads. You'll build a true practice, like an attorney or a CPA. We maintain your list. We blast it out. We even write the newsletter for you. Click here for details.
A troubled man walks into his psychiatrists office and says, "I'm a Wigwam, I'm a Teepee" "I'm a Wigwam, I'm a Teepee" "I'm a Wigwam, I'm a Teepee" The psychiatrist says, "Relax I think I know what your problem is. You're two tents!"
How to Use C-Loans to Make a PDF
Just come to C-Loans.com and enter your commercial deal as usual. You may want to upload some color photographs of your property as well. This is a new feature of C-Loans. Then select six lenders and submit your deal to them.
When you come to the departure page, you'll see a new link at the bottom of the page. To create your PDF, simply click on this link and your PDF will be instantly created. Be sure to save the PDF of your Executive Loan Summary to your desktop. Pretty awesome, huh? It takes just one click of a button to create your PDF.
What on Earth is a Chiweenie?
Cisca and I took our little daughter to the mall the other day, and its always fun to walk through the pet store. There we saw some very odd-looking little puppies for sale called, "Chiweenies." A Chiweenie is a cross between a Chihuahua and a Daschund. Clever name, huh?
Reuse Our Video Training Course Over and Over
If you order our famous 9-hour video course, How to Broker Commercial Mortgage Loans, you can use this training course again and again to train new loan agents in your office. One company, TCRM Commercial, has used our training video to train over 50 loan agents.
George and the Dragon Joke
An 18th-century vagabond in England, exhausted and famished, came to a roadside inn with a sign reading, "George and the Dragon." He knocked. The innkeeper's wife stuck her head out a window. "Could ye spare some victuals?" he asked. The woman glanced at his shabby, dirty clothes. "No!" she shouted. "Could I have a pint of ale?" "No!" she shouted. "Could I at least sleep in your stable?" "No!" she shouted again. The vagabond said, "Might I please..." "What now?" the woman screeched, not allowing him to finish. "D'ye suppose," he asked, "that I might have a word with George?"
You Need Loan Servicing Income
The fastest and easiest way to build a loan servicing portfolio is to become a hard money lender. Our four-hour video course, How to Find Your Own Private Mortgage Investors, is just $499.
Q: How many letters are there in the alphabet?
A: Twenty-four, because E.T. went home.
Train Your Entire Staff in Commercial in One Day
You are paying a fortune to keep your doors open. You can't afford to throw away good commercial leads. For only $6,000 I will fly out to your office and train your entire staff in commercial mortgage marketing, underwriting, packaging, placement, and fee collection. Suddenly your income potential doubles with no increase in monthly overhead. I have already trained more than 50 companies. For details please call Alicia Gandy at 916-338-3232..
Septic Tank Joke
I live in the country in Indiana where we are not hooked up to any city sewer system. Instead, when we flush the toilet, the sewage goes down into an underground septic tank. Every few years, we have to hire a special truck to come out and empty our septic tank. Today I saw one of those trucks, probably full of "sewage", with the following words painted on the back: "Caution! Vehicle May be Transporting Political Promises."
Consult with George for Just $375/Hour
With just a 30 to 60 minute consultation I may be able to help you with your commercial mortgage marketing, your underwriting, your placement of a particular commercial deal, or your fee collection problems. Click here for details.
"The remarkable thing about my mother is that for thirty years she served us nothing but leftovers. The original meal has never been found." -- Calvin Trillin
Need a Hard Money Commercial Real Estate Loan?
Click here to apply directly to me, George Blackburne, the owner. Blackburne & Brown is now making hard money commercial loans and land loans as low as 11.9% and zero points for 15 years.
Flying is the second greatest thrill known to man. Landing is the first.
Got a Bankable Commercial Loan?
C-Loans.com is a commercial mortgage portal, where 750 different banks, conduits, REIT's and hard money lenders accept commercial loan applications from borrowers and mortgage brokers. The user just fills in a single mini-app, and the same mini-app is accepted by every lender. You can sort through hundreds of commercial lenders in seconds, and C-Loans.com is free.
Nut House Joke
During a visit to the mental asylum, a visitor asked the Director, "How do you determine whether or not a patient should be institutionalized?" "Well," said the Director, "we fill up a bathtub, then we offer a teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket to the patient and ask him or her to empty the bathtub." "Oh, I understand," said the visitor. "A normal person would use the bucket because it's bigger than the spoon or the teacup." "No." said the Director, "A normal person would pull the bathtub plug. Do you want a bed near a window or the door?"
The Reverse Multiplier Effect
My book, The Reverse Multiplier Effect - When Crushing Deflation Destroys America, was published in early 2007. This financial thriller made certain terrifying predictions about the future. Already half of the them have already come true, including the start of the Greater Depression. Readers have been writing and calling me recently, "Oh my goodness, George, your terrifying scenario is coming true!" Order now to learn more about a possible future. Your life's savings could depend on it.
The husband and wife were playing on the ninth green when she collapsed from a heart attack. "Please dear, I need help." she said. The husband ran off saying, "I'll go get some help." A little while later he returned, picked up his club and began to line up his shot on the green. His wife, on the ground, raised up her head and said, "I'm may be dying and you're putting?" "Don't worry dear. I found a doctor on the second hole who said he come and help." "The second hole?? When in the hell is he coming???" "Hey! I told you not to worry." he said, practice stroking his putt. "Everyone's already agreed to let him play through."
Earn $5,000 Referral Fees in Your Sleep
Do you have a mortgage or real estate web page? Simply create a button or banner that says "Commercial Mortgages" and point it to our wonderful on-line commercial mortgage application system. You will earn 1/8th of a point on any loan that closes. Click here for details.
This truck driver hauling a tractor-trailer load of computers stops for a beer. As he approaches the bar, he sees a big sign on the door saying "Nerds Not Allowed -- Enter At Your Own Risk!" He goes in and sits down. The bartender comes over to him. "You smell kind of nerdy. What do you do for a living?" "I drive a truck, and the smell is just from the computers I'm hauling." "Okay, truck drivers are not nerds," he says and serves him a beer. As he is sipping his beer, a skinny guy walks in with tape around his glasses, a pocket protector with twelve kinds of pens and pencils, and a belt at least a foot too long. The bartender, without saying a word, pulls out a shotgun and blows the guy away. The truck driver is totally shocked. "Why did you do that?" "Not to worry. The nerds are overpopulating Silicon Valley and are in season now. You don't even need a license." The truck driver finishes his beer, gets back in his truck, and heads back onto the freeway. Suddenly, he veers to avoid an accident, and the load shifts. The back door breaks open and computers spill out all over the freeway. He jumps out and sees a crowd already forming, grabbing up the computers. They are all engineers, accountants, and programmers wearing the nerdiest clothes he has ever seen. He can't let them steal his whole load. So, remembering what happened in the bar, he pulls out his gun and starts blasting away, felling several of them instantly. A highway patrol officer comes zooming up and jumps out of the car, screaming, "Stop-stop!" "What's wrong? I thought nerds were in season," says the truck driver. "Yeah," he cop replies, "but you can't bait 'em!"