STUFF (C-Loans.com Client Letter)
You are receiving this letter because you are a commercial real estate loan client of either Blackburne & Brown or C-Loans, Inc. Removal instructions are below. Today we'll discuss how you need to start originating government loans.
Joke Du Jour
Because an increasing number of people are having heart attacks while gambling, the big, high-class casinos are now equipped with sophisticated defibrillators. They are computer-controlled to deliver the exact electric shock needed to revive a heart attack victim. That is, if you're at a big, high-class casino. At the cheaper casinos downtown, they just drag you across the carpet and touch your finger to the doorknob.
San Francisco Commercial Lending Conference
On Thursday, September 4th, C-Loans and Smith-Crane Financial are putting on our last Commercial Lending Conference of the year. The conference is being held at the South San Francisco Convention Center. It starts at 8:00 a.m. and ends at 6:00 p.m. The cost is only $95, if you pre-register, or $195 at the door. I, George Blackburne, will be one of the speakers, and the material I have prepared is super-important if you hope to survive in this business. The commercial lending market is changing is quickly.
Betty Jo passed away right sudden like, and Bubba, he called 911. The 911 operator told Bubba that she would send someone out right away. "Where do you live?" asked the operator. Bubba replied, "Down 'ere at the end o' Eucalyptus Drive." The operator asked, "Can you spell that for me?" There was a long pause and finally Bubba said, "How 'bout if I drag her on over to Oak Street and you pick her up there?"
Pricing Matrix for Blackburne & Brown
With so many subprime commercial lenders, like Interbay, Silverhill, and Velocity, all puckered up these days, you may want to bring your slightly flawed commercial deals to Blackburne & Brown. Arguably we're the cheapest of the commercial hard money lenders. Here is Blackburne & Brown's pricing matrix for commercial real estate loans. If you print it out right now, it will come in very handy very soon.
Is it just me, or does anyone else find it amazing that during the mad cow epidemic our government could track a single cow, born in Canada, almost three years ago, right to the stall where she slept in the state of Washington? And, they tracked her calves to their stalls. But they are unable to locate 11 million illegal aliens wandering around our country. Maybe we should give each of them a cow?
Observations from NAMB in New Orleans
I was flattered when the National Association of Mortgage Brokers flew me down to New Orleans and put me up at the Hilton in order to speak during the NAMB national conference on commercial real estate finance. That was a pretty sweet deal, huh? I had never been to Bourbon Street before.
Important note: The only finance guys at the conference who were making any money were the ones originating loans with government guarantees! This meant the residential mortgage brokers originating HUD loans, the multi-family specialists originating HUD apartment loans, and the commercial specialists originating SBA loans. Everyone else was starving.
New E-Mail Newsletter Service From C-Loans
By sending a regular email newsletter to several hundred referral sources every month, you can build a steady supply of leads. You'll build a true practice, like an attorney or a CPA. We maintain your list. We blast it out. We even write the newsletter for you. Click here for details.
Bank Robbery Joke
A man charges into a bank wearing a balaclava (ski mask with eye holes) and wielding a handgun. He shouts, "This is a stickup – everyone get on the floor!!", and proceeds to empty the cash drawers. As he runs towards the door with the loot, a brave customer yanks off his balaclava. The robber immediately shoots the customer in the head and shouts.. "Did anybody else here see my face?". The robber notices another customer peering from behind a counter and goes over and shoots him in the head also. "Did anybody else see my face?" he shouts again, waving his gun around. There is silence for a few seconds before a male voice is heard from a distant corner, "I think my mother-in-law caught a glimpse..."
Recent Upgrade to Our Video Training Course
We have just finished adding a new Commercial Loan Packaging CD to our famous, nine-hour video training course, How to Broker Commercial Mortgage Loans. This new section in our training course even teaches you how to create a PDF of your commercial loan package, so you can quickly deliver your deal by e-mail.
"Women now have choices. They can be married, not married, have a job, not have a job, be married with children, un- married with children. Men have the same choice we've always had - work or prison." -- Tim Allen
You Need Loan Servicing Income
The difference between a mortgage banker and a mortgage broker is that a mortgage banker services his own loans. Servicing income represents residual income, like renewals for insurance agents. Mortgage bankers survive recessions, while mortgage brokers usually starve, because they enjoy large servicing residuals.
The fastest and easiest way to build a loan servicing portfolio is to become a hard money lender. Our four-hour video course, How to Find Your Own Private Mortgage Investors, is just $499.
One day my young daughter and I were listening to an old tune by Simon and Garfunkel. When the song finished, she asked me, "Well, did he?" "Did he what?" I replied. "Did Parsley save Rosemary in time?" she asked.
Train Your Entire Staff in Commercial in One Day
You are paying a fortune to keep your doors open. You can't afford to throw away good commercial leads. For only $6,000 I will fly out to your office and train your entire staff in commercial mortgage marketing, underwriting, packaging, placement, and fee collection. Suddenly your income potential doubles with no increase in monthly overhead. I have already trained more than 50 companies. For details please call Alicia Gandy at 916-338-3232..
"In California, a high school student who's an illegal immigrant is about to be deported, but since he's the school's valedictorian, he's asking President Bush to help. Bush told the valedictorian, 'Don't worry, I won't let them send you back to Valedictoria.'" -- Conan O'Brien
Consult with George for Just $375/Hour
With just a 30 to 60 minute consultation I may be able to help you with your commercial mortgage marketing, your underwriting, your placement of a particular commercial deal, or your fee collection problems. Click here for details.
My wife and I were sitting in the living room, and I said to her, "Just so you know, I never want to live in a vegetative state, dependent on some machine and fluids from a bottle. If that ever happens, just pull the plug." She got up, unplugged the TV, and poured out all of my beer!
Need a Hard Money Commercial Real Estate Loan?
Click here to apply directly to me, George Blackburne, the owner. Blackburne & Brown is now making hard money commercial loans and land loans as low as 11.9% and zero points for 15 years.
A woman was trying hard to get the ketchup out of the jar. During her struggle the phone rang so she asked her 4-year-old daughter to answer the phone. "Mommy can't come to the phone to talk to you right now. She's hitting the bottle."
Got a Bankable Commercial Loan?
C-Loans.com is a commercial mortgage portal, where 750 different banks, conduits, REIT's and hard money lenders accept commercial loan applications from borrowers and mortgage brokers. The user just fills in a single mini-app, and the same mini-app is accepted by every lender.
You can sort through hundreds of commercial lenders in seconds, and C-Loans.com is free.
A little boy got lost at the YMCA and found himself in the women's locker room. When he was spotted, the room burst into shrieks, with ladies grabbing towels and running for cover. The little boy watched in amazement and then asked, "What's the matter, haven't you ever seen a little boy before?"
The Reverse Multiplier Effect
My book, The Reverse Multiplier Effect - When Crushing Deflation Destroys America, was published in 2007. This financial thriller made certain terrifying predictions about the future. Already half of the them have already come true. Readers have been writing and calling me, "Oh my goodness, George, your terrifying scenario is coming true!" Order now to learn a possible future. Your life savings could depend on it.
While taking a routine vandalism report at an elementary school, I was interrupted by a little girl about 6 years old. Looking up and down at my uniform, she asked, "Are you a cop?" "Yes," I answered and continued writing the report. "My mother said if I ever needed help I should ask the police. Is that right?" "'Yes, that's right," I told her. "Well, then," she said as she extended her foot toward me, "would you please tie my shoe?"
Earn $5,000 Referral Fees in Your Sleep
Do you have a mortgage or real estate web page? Simply create a button or banner that says "Commercial Mortgages" and point it to our wonderful on-line commercial mortgage application system. You will earn 1/8th of a point on any loan that closes. Click here for details.
Scary Car Joke
A man is crossing the street. Suddenly this huge black sedan, with ominously tinted windows, comes speeding down the street. The car is aimed directly at the terrified man. The man hurries forward, but the car redirects its aim and is once again hurtling towards him. The man tries to run back to where he stepped off the curb, but once again the car seems to predict his move and re-aims itself at him. The man reverses his direction one final time, but it's no use. In stark terror the man stands helplessly as the speeding car hurtles toward him. Suddenly the driver of the car slams down hard on his brakes. The black engine of doom swerves left and right, and its tires squeal in protest. Black smoke pours from its tires. With no more than an inch to spare, the car finally comes to a final halt. For almost a minute, neither party moves. Then slowly the driver's side door opens … and out steps this little bitty squirrel wearing aviator sunglasses. "See," says the little squirrel. "It's not as easy as it looks."