PRIVATE CLIENT LETTER
You arer receiving this letter because you are a client of either Blackburne & Brown or C-Loans, Inc. Removal instructions are below. Today we'll discuss an upcoming free commercial mortgage conference in Miami.
Joke Du Jour
Our manager at the restaurant where I worked was a much beloved, jovial man. But there was one subject you didn't dare discuss in front of him -- his height. Or, should I say, his lack of it. One day, he stormed through the door and announced angrily, "Someone just picked my pocket!" Most of my fellow waitresses and I were speechless, except for the one who blurted out, "How could anyone stoop so low?"
Free Commercial Lending Conference
Most commercial lending conferences cost at least $500 to attend. The C-Loans Smith-Craine Commercial Lending Conference is free to the first 500 registrants! I (George) will be speaking at the conference on fee collection, and there are a number of sessions on commercial mortgage marketing. The conference is being held on April 23rd in Miami, Florida. To register just go to commerciallendingconference.com.
This guy wrote: I played for a semi-pro baseball team. At every game we sold raffle tickets. Half the money paid the team's expenses and the other half went to the winning ticket holder. One day they held the drawing just as I was stepping up to bat. The home plate umpire pulled the winning ticket, and then turned to me. "Could you read me the number?" he asked. "My vision's not too good."
New E-Mail Newsletter Service From C-Loans
By sending a regular email newsletter to several hundred referral sources every month, you'll build a steady supply of leads. You'll build a true practice, like an attorney or a CPA. We maintain your list. We blast it out. We even write the newsletter for you. Click here for details.
This lovely gal wrote: I was getting ready for a garage sale one summer day. Since it was so humid out, I decided to stay inside my air-conditioned house and mark the special price stickers I had bought for the sale. Then I slapped them on my blouse, ran outside, stuck them on the appropriate items and rushed back inside. I did this until every item was labeled. Later that day a UPS man came by the house with a delivery. I noticed that as I was signing for the package, he seemed ill at ease. It was only after he left that I noticed there was one sticker still attached to the front of my blouse. It read "Make me an offer."
Recent Upgrade to Our Video Training Course
We have just finished adding a new Commercial Loan Packaging CD to our famous, nine-hour video training course, How to Broker Commercial Mortgage Loans. This new section in our training course even teaches you how to create a PDF of your commercial loan package, so you can quickly deliver your deal by e-mail.
Airport Security Joke
Working as a secretary at an international airport, my sister had an office adjacent to the room where security temporarily holds suspects. One day security officers were questioning a man when they were suddenly called away on another emergency. To the horror of my sister and her colleagues, the man was left alone in the unlocked room. After a few minutes, the door opened and he began to walk out. Summoning up her courage, one of the secretaries barked, "Get back in there, and don't you come out until you're told!" The man scuttled back inside and slammed the door. When the security people returned, the women reported what had happened. Without a word, an officer walked into the room and released one very frightened telephone repairman.
You Need Loan Servicing Income
The difference between a mortgage banker and a mortgage broker is that a mortgage banker services his own loans. Servicing income represents residual income, like renewals for insurance agents. Mortgage bankers survive recessions, while mortgage brokers usually starve, because they enjoy large servicing residuals.
The fastest and easiest way to build a loan servicing portfolio is to become a hard money lender. Our four-hour video course, How to Find Your Own Private Mortgage Investors, is just $499.
Air Traffic Control Joke
One night at McChord Air Force Base in Washington, I was dispatched to check out the security fence where an alarm had gone off. The fence was at the end of the base runway. When I got to the scene, I found that a raccoon was the culprit, so I ran around and flapped my arms to scare off the animal. Suddenly an air-traffic controller came over the public-address system and announced loudly, "Attention to the airman at the end of the runway. You are cleared for takeoff."
Train Your Entire Staff in Commercial in One Day
You are paying a fortune to keep your doors open. You can't afford to throw away good commercial leads. For only $6,000 I will fly out to your office and train your entire staff in commercial mortgage marketing, underwriting, packaging, placement and fee collection. Suddenly your income potential doubles with no increase in monthly overhead. I have already trained more than 50 companies.
Two nuns are out driving when a vampire drops onto the bonnet of their car. "Quick, sister," screams one nun, "show him your cross!" So the other nun leans out of the window and shouts, "Hey, you! Buzz off!"
Consult with George for Just $375/Hour
With just a 30 to 60 minute consultation I may be able to help you with your commercial mortgage marketing, your underwriting, your placement of a particular commercial deal, or your fee collection problems. Click here for details.
Wake-Up Call Joke
Two mothers are having a conversation about their children one day. "How do you get your Marvin up so early on school mornings?" asks Joan. "Oh, that's easy," replies Marianne. "I just throw the cat on his bed." "Why does that wake him up?" "He sleeps with the dog!"
Need a Hard Money Commercial Loan?
Click here to apply directly to me, George Blackburne, the owner. Blackburne & Brown is now making hard money commercial loans and land loans as low as 10.9% and zero points for 15 years.
A friend of mine took her four-year-old daughter to a baptismal service at her church. Later that night, her daughter took all of her dolls into the bathtub with her and held her own "baptism." As she dunked each doll under the water, she repeated, "Now I baptize you in the name of the Father, the Son, and hold your nose."
Got a Bankable Commercial Loan?
C-Loans.com is a commercial mortgage portal, where 750 different banks, conduits, REIT's and hard money lenders accept commercial loan applications from borrowers and mortgage brokers. The user just fills in a single mini-app, and the same mini-app is accepted by every lender.
You can sort through hundreds of commercial lenders in seconds, and C-Loans.com is free.
During his spare time my brother, an attorney, volunteers on his town's fire and rescue squad. When I mentioned this to a friend, he smiled and said, "Let me get this straight. Your brother is a lawyer and an EMT? So he doesn't have to chase the ambulance -- he's already in it?"
The Reverse Multiplier Effect
The economic depression that we have already entered has been named the Greater Depression because its going to be worse than the 1930's. It will be marked by crushing deflation.
If you think that creating inflation is easy and that the Fed can't possibly lose the battle against deflation, you desperately need to read my new book, The Reverse Multiplier Effect - When Crushing Deflation Destroys America. It's a financial thriller that explains the dangers and significant chances of deflation. And it's a fun read.
This gal wrote: Concerned about fitness in my middle 40s, I enrolled in an aerobics class. To my dismay I walked into a room filled with much younger women and decided to combat my nervousness with humor. "I'm here to do my postnatal exercises." The instructor gave me an appraising look. "How old is your baby?" "Twenty-six," I replied.
Earn $5,000 Referral Fees in Your Sleep
Do you have a mortgage or real estate web page? Simply create a button or banner that says "Commercial Mortgages" and point it to our wonderful on-line commercial mortgage application system. You will earn 1/8th of a point on any loan that closes. Click here for details.
Two British traffic patrol officers from North Berwick were involved in an unusual incident while checking for speeding motorists on the A-1 Great North Road. One of the officers used a hand-held radar device to check the speed of a vehicle approaching over the crest of a hill. He was surprised when the speed was recorded at over 300 mph! Their radar suddenly stopped working, and the officers were not able to reset it.
Just then a deafening roar over the treetops revealed that the radar had in fact latched on to a NATO Tornado fighter jet, which was engaged in a low-flying exercise over the Border district, approaching from the North Sea.
Back at police headquarters, the chief constable fired off a stiff complaint to the RAF Liaison office. Back came the reply in true laconic RAF style:
"Thank you for your message, which allows us to complete the file on this incident. You may be interested to know that the tactical computer in the Tornado had detected the presence of, and subsequently locked onto, your hostile radar equipment and automatically sent a jamming signal back to it.
"Furthermore, an air-to-ground missile aboard the fully-armed aircraft had also automatically locked onto your equipment.
"Fortunately, the pilot flying the Tornado recognized the situation for what it was, quickly responded to the missile systems alert status, and was able to override the automated defense system before the missile was launched and your hostile radar installation was destroyed. Good Day..."