MORTGAGE
STUFF (C-Loans.com Client Letter)
Joke
Du Jour
A
woman went to the doctor's office, where she was seen by
one of the new doctors, but after about 4 minutes in the
examination room, she burst out, screaming as she ran down
the hall. An older doctor stopped her and asked what
the problem was, and she told him her story. After listening,
he had her sit down and relax in another room. The
older doctor marched down the hallway to the back where
the first doctor was and demanded, "What's the matter with
you? Mrs. Terry is 63 years old, she has four grown
children and seven grandchildren, and you told her she was
pregnant?"
The
new doctor continued to write on his clipboard and without
looking up said, "Does she still have the hiccups?"
This
is So Cool! Refer Loans to C-Loans by Hand
You're
busy closing home loans. Suddenly a sweet commercial
loan drops in your lap, but you don't have time to work
it. You can now refer a loan to C-Loans and earn a
big referral fee,
just by entering the email address of the borrower or commercial
real estate broker or even fellow mortgage broker.
Just
go to c-loans.com/refer and enter the
email address of the party you are referring to C-Loans.
Please be sure to tell them that they will be receiving
an email from C-Loans. That's it, You're done.
Now sit back and wait for your referral fee of 12.5 basis
points. That's a handsome $1,250 fee on a $1 million
loan.
"Gee,
George, how will you know that the deal came from me?"
The
first time you use this referral page, you will need to
enter your email address. We will then fetch your
contact information from your registration as a user on
C-Loans. So be sure to register on C-Loans (a fancy
term for taking 30 seconds to type in your name, address,
and phone numbers).
The
second time you use this referral page, our machine will
remember your own email address. So all you have to
do is enter the email address of the borrower. It
will take you less than 10 seconds to send a ship out to
sea. Please be realistic. Sirens, pirates, and
storms will sink 19 of your 20 referrals. It's the
nature of commercial lending. But when your ship does
comes in, it will come laden with lots of cold, hard cash.
So
be smart. Please come to our referral
page right now and bookmark it. This sooo cool.
Statistics
Joke
"There's
a statistical theory that if you gave a million
monkeys
typewriters and set them to work, they'd eventually
come
up with the complete works of Shakespeare. Thanks
to the Internet, we now
know this isn't true." -- Ian Hart
Your
Referral Fees Could Be Huge
We
just closed an $8.4 million deal on C-Loans. If that
had been your referral, your fee would have been $10,500!
Please come to our referral page right
now and bookmark it.
Pilot
Joke
"I
used to be an airline pilot. I got fired because I
kept
locking
the keys in the plane. They caught me on a 20-foot
extension
ladder with a coathanger." -- Steven Wright
Earn
$5,000 Referral Fees in Your Sleep
Do
you have a mortgage web site? Is so you could be earning
huge referral fees by simply putting a link to C-Loans on
your home page and in your emails. Click
here for details.
You
Also Get Paid for Repeat Closings
You
don't have to refer just commercial borrowers. You
can also refer commercial real estate brokers and mortgage
brokers.
Suppose
you refer a mortgage broker and he closes three loans with
us over the next year. You get paid on all of his
closings in perpetuity, until he changes his email address.
A single referral to C-Loans could generate an $800 fee,
a $2,300 fee, and a $1,600 fee.
This
is really important to your pocketbook. You
can refer mortgage brokers to C-Loans and earn
referral fees. So please refer every mortgage
broker that you know to C-Loans!
Please come to our referral page and
bookmark it.
Highlighter
Joke
"I
had the worst study habits in the history of college, until
I found out what I was doing wrong -- highlighting with
a black magic marker." -- Jeff Altman
Blackburne
& Brown is Now Making Construction Loans, as Well as Permanent
Loans
Don't
forget that our sister company, Blackburne & Brown,
is now making hard money construction loans, as well as
our long term hard money loans. And the sweet thing
about B&B is that we charge the lowest points of any
hard money broker in the country. Got a commercial
deal? Please call Mike Thurman at 916-338-3232.
Pig
Joke
A
farmer had five female pigs and, as times were tough, he
had determined to take them to the county fair and sell
them. While at the fair he met another farmer who owned
five male pigs. After talking a bit, they decided to mate
the pigs and split everything 50/50.
Now the farmers lived sixty miles away from one another,
so they each agreed to drive thirty miles and find a field
in which to mate their pigs. The first morning, the farmer
with the female pigs got up at 5 a.m., loaded the pigs into
the family station wagon (which was the only vehicle they
had) and drove the thirty miles.
While the pigs were mating, he asked the other farmer, "How
will I know if they are pregnant?" The other farmer
replied, "If they're in the grass grazing in the morning,
then they're pregnant, but if they're rolling in the mud,
then they're not."
The next morning they were rolling in the mud, so he hosed
them off, called the other farmer, loaded them again into
the family station wagon and proceeded to try again. The
following morning, in the mud again! And the next morning,
MUD again! This continued all week until the farmer was
so tired that he couldn't get out of bed.
He called to his wife, "Honey, please look outside
and tell me if the pigs are in the mud or in the field grazing."
The wife looked out the window and then yelled back, "Neither,
they're in the station wagon and one of them is honking
the horn."
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