MORTGAGE
STUFF (C-Loans.com Client Letter)
Joke
Du Jour
The
Real Story
It's
a sunny morning in the Big Forest and the Bear family is
just waking up. Baby
Bear goes downstairs and sits in his
small chair at the table. He
looks into his small bowl. It is empty! "Who's
been eating my porridge?" he squeaks.
Daddy
Bear arrives at the table and sits in his big chair.
He looks into his big bowl. It is also empty!
"Who's been eating my porridge?" he roars.
Mommy
Bear points her finger through the door from the kitchen
and yells, "For Pete's sake, how many times do we have to
go through this?"
"It
was Mommy Bear who got up first. It was Mommy Bear
who woke everybody else in the house up. It was Mommy Bear
who unloaded the dishwasher from last night and put everything
away. It was Mommy Bear who went out in the cold early
morning air to fetch the newspaper. It
was Mommy Bear who set the table. It
was Mommy Bear who put the cat out, cleaned
the litter box and filled the cat's water and food dish."
"And
now that you've decided to come downstairs and grace me
with your presence ... listen
good because I'm only going to say this one more time ...
I haven't made the stupid porridge yet!!"
C-Loans
Adds New Hard Money Lenders For Huge Commercial Construction
Loans
One
of the hard money lenders we just added to C-Loans has a
$900 million mortgage fund with $500 million uninvested.
The interest they are losing because they can't find
enough big commercial construction loans is simply killing
them. Can you imagine paying out 9% interest to your
investors on $500 million while the money is sitting in
a 2% money market fund? These guys are motivated
to make big loans.
You
can apply to 750 commercial lenders on C-Loans with one
click. http://www.c-loans.com/onlineapp
Calender
Joke
According
to the Jewish calendar, the year is 5765. According
to the Chinese calendar, the year is 4702. That means
that for 1,063 years, the Jews went without Chinese food...
These were known as THE DARK AGES.
Hard
Money Loans Only 1.5 Points
Blackburne
& Brown, the sister company of C-Loans, is making hard
money commercial loans for only 1.5 points. These
are 15 year loans with no prepayment penalty. We will
fund almost kind of commercial property, including weird
stuff like funeral homes, old folks homes, and nudie bars.
Our
loans have no prepayment penalty. That's a biggie.
No prepayment penalty. Got a deal? Email
Mike Thurman
or call him at 916-338-3232.
Great
Flick
If
you are a sports fan, you have to your teenage athelete
son or daughter to go see, "Friday Night Lights".
The message is an important one. Good movie!
C-Loans
Closed Five Large Commercial Loans in a Single Day Last Thursday
If
you aren't using C-Loans, you are missing out on the greatest
tool in the commercial real estate finance industry.
We've now closed 350 deals totaling a quarter of a billion
dollars. Wow. And C-Loans is free! Submit
a deal to C-Loans right now!
Final
Funny
Three
golfing partners died in a car wreck and went to heaven.
Upon arrival they discover the most beautiful golf course
they have ever seen. St. Peter tells them that they
are all welcome to play the course, but he cautions them
that there is only one rule: Don't hit the ducks.
The
men all have blank expressions, and finally one of them
asks "The ducks?"
"Yes",
St. Peter replies, "There are millions of ducks walking
around the course, and if one gets hit, he squawks, then
the one next to him squawks, and soon they're all squawkin
to beat the band. It really breaks the tranquility.
If you hit the ducks, you'll be punished; otherwise everything
is yours to enjoy."
After
entering the course, the men noted that there was indeed
a gaggle of ducks everywhere. Within fifteen minutes,
one of the guys hit one of them. The duck squawked, the
one next to it squawked and soon there was a deafening roar
of duck quacks. St. Peter walked up with an
extremely homely woman in tow and asked "Who hit the duck?"
The
one who had done it admitted "I did."
Immediately,
St. Peter pulled out a pair of handcuffs and cuffed the
man's right hand to the homely woman's left hand. "I told
you not to hit the ducks," he said. "Now you'll be
handcuffed together for eternity."
The
other two men were very cautious not to hit any ducks, but
a couple of weeks later, one of them accidentally did.
The quacks were as deafening as before and within minutes
St. Peter walked up with an even uglier woman than before.
St. Peter determined which one had hit the duck by the fear
in his face, and cuffed the man's right hand to the homely
woman's left hand. "I told you not to hit the ducks",
he said. "Now you'll be handcuffed together for eternity."
The
third man was extremely careful. Some days he wouldn't even
move for fear of even nudging a duck. After three
months of this he still hadn't hit a duck. St. Peter
walked up to the man at the end of the three months
and had with him a knock-out gorgeous woman, the most beautiful
woman the man had ever seen. St. Peter smiled to the
man and then, without a word, handcuffed him to the beautiful
woman and walked off.
The
man, knowing that he would be handcuffed to this woman for
eternity, let out a sigh and said "What have I done to deserve
this?"
The
woman responded "I don't know about you, but I hit a duck."
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