Mortgage Stuff C-Loans Client Letter
Volume 4, Issue 11

Newsletter Date:  October 26, 2004

MORTGAGE STUFF ( Client Letter)

Joke Du Jour

The Real Story

It's a sunny morning in the Big Forest and the Bear family is just waking up.  Baby Bear goes downstairs and sits in his small chair at the table.  He looks into his small bowl.  It is empty!  "Who's been eating my porridge?" he squeaks.

Daddy Bear arrives at the table and sits in his big chair.  He looks into his big bowl.  It is also empty!  "Who's been eating my porridge?" he roars.

Mommy Bear points her finger through the door from the kitchen and yells, "For Pete's sake, how many times do we have to go through this?"

"It was Mommy Bear who got up first.  It was Mommy Bear who woke everybody else in the house up. It was Mommy Bear who unloaded the dishwasher from last night and put everything away.  It was Mommy Bear who went out in the cold early morning air to fetch the newspaper.  It was Mommy Bear who set the table.  It was Mommy Bear who put the cat out, cleaned the litter box and filled the cat's water and food dish."

"And now that you've decided to come downstairs and grace me with your presence ... listen good because I'm only going to say this one more time ... I haven't made the stupid porridge yet!!"

C-Loans Adds New Hard Money Lenders For Huge Commercial Construction Loans

One of the hard money lenders we just added to C-Loans has a $900 million mortgage fund with $500 million uninvested.   The interest they are losing because they can't find enough big commercial construction loans is simply killing them.  Can you imagine paying out 9% interest to your investors on $500 million while the money is sitting in a 2% money market fund?  These guys are motivated to make big loans.

You can apply to 750 commercial lenders on C-Loans with one click.

Calender Joke

According to the Jewish calendar, the year is 5765.  According to the Chinese calendar, the year is 4702.  That means that for 1,063 years, the Jews went without Chinese food...   These were known as THE DARK AGES.

Hard Money Loans Only 1.5 Points

Blackburne & Brown, the sister company of C-Loans, is making hard money commercial loans for only 1.5 points.  These are 15 year loans with no prepayment penalty.  We will fund almost kind of commercial property, including weird stuff like funeral homes, old folks homes, and nudie bars. 

Our loans have no prepayment penalty.  That's a biggie.   No prepayment penalty.  Got a deal?  Email Mike Thurman or call him at 916-338-3232.

Great Flick

If you are a sports fan, you have to your teenage athelete son or daughter to go see, "Friday Night Lights".  The message is an important one.  Good movie!

C-Loans Closed Five Large Commercial Loans in a Single Day Last Thursday

If you aren't using C-Loans, you are missing out on the greatest tool in the commercial real estate finance industry.  We've now closed 350 deals totaling a quarter of a billion dollars.  Wow.  And C-Loans is free!  Submit a deal to C-Loans right now!

Final Funny

Three golfing partners died in a car wreck and went to heaven. Upon arrival they discover the most beautiful golf course they have ever seen.  St. Peter tells them that they are all welcome to play the course, but he cautions them that there is only one rule: Don't hit the ducks.

The men all have blank expressions, and finally one of them asks "The ducks?"

 "Yes", St. Peter replies, "There are millions of ducks walking around the course, and if one gets hit, he squawks, then the one next to him squawks, and soon they're all squawkin to beat the band.  It really breaks the tranquility. If you hit the ducks, you'll be punished; otherwise everything is yours to enjoy."

After entering the course, the men noted that there was indeed a gaggle of ducks everywhere.  Within fifteen minutes, one of the guys hit one of them. The duck squawked, the one next to it squawked and soon there was a deafening roar of duck quacks.   St. Peter walked up with an extremely homely woman in tow and asked "Who hit the duck?"

The one who had done it admitted "I did."

Immediately, St. Peter pulled out a pair of handcuffs and cuffed the man's right hand to the homely woman's left hand. "I told you not to hit the ducks," he said.  "Now you'll be handcuffed together for eternity."

The other two men were very cautious not to hit any ducks, but a couple of weeks later, one of them accidentally did.  The quacks were as deafening as before and within minutes St. Peter walked up with an even uglier woman than before.  St. Peter determined which one had hit the duck by the fear in his face, and cuffed the man's right hand to the homely woman's left hand.  "I told you not to hit the ducks", he said. "Now you'll be handcuffed together for eternity."

The third man was extremely careful. Some days he wouldn't even move for fear of even nudging a duck.  After three months of this he still hadn't hit a duck.  St. Peter walked up to the man at the end of  the three months and had with him a knock-out gorgeous woman, the most beautiful woman the man had ever seen.  St. Peter smiled to the man and then, without a word, handcuffed him to the beautiful woman and walked off.

The man, knowing that he would be handcuffed to this woman for eternity, let out a sigh and said "What have I done to deserve this?"

The woman responded "I don't know about you, but I hit a duck."


Featured Links

Mortgage Stuff C-Loans Client LetterApply for a Commercial Loan
Mortgage Stuff C-Loans Client LetterList of Lender Phone Numbers
Mortgage Stuff C-Loans Client LetterLearn Commercial Mortgage Finance
Mortgage Stuff C-Loans Client LetterFind Your Own Private Investors
Mortgage Stuff C-Loans Client LetterMarket for Commercial Loans
Mortgage Stuff C-Loans Client LetterFee Collection Course
Mortgage Stuff C-Loans Client LetterEarn Referral Fees in Your Sleep
Mortgage Stuff C-Loans Client LetterCombo Packages
Mortgage Stuff C-Loans Client LetterCool Mortgage Broker Stuff
Mortgage Stuff C-Loans Client LetterCool Lender Stuff
Mortgage Stuff C-Loans Client LetterCool Realtor Stuff
Mortgage Stuff C-Loans Client LetterPast Newsletters
Mortgage Stuff C-Loans Client LetterSubscribe to C-Loans Newsletter
Mortgage Stuff C-Loans Client LetterContact Us


George Will Fly Out to Your Office and Train Your Whole Company in Commercial Mortgage Finance for Just $4,500.

Write to George Blackburne at


Can't Afford $4,500?  Get the Same Training on Video For Just $499.   Use the Videos to Train Future Loan Officers.

Call Alicia at (916) 338-3232 or email her at


Both Training Courses Include Over 60 Minutes on Fee Collection.  No One Has Collected From More Lying, Deadbeat Borrowers Than George.  You Can Order the Fee Agreement and Collection Training Separately for $199.

Call Alicia at (916) 338-3232 or email her at


Got a Mortgage Web Site?  Earn $5,000 Referral Fees in Your Sleep!

Just Click Here

This Space Available.

E-mail or Call George Blackburne at 574-360-2486.

This Space Available.

E-mail or Call George Blackburne at 574-360-2486.

This Space Available.

E-mail or Call George Blackburne at 574-360-2486.


Sign Up for This Newsletter!

Click HERE






® is sponsored by C-Loans, Inc. — For more information, contact Alicia Gandy
4811 Chippendale Drive, Suite 101, Sacramento, CA 95841 telephone: (916) 338-3232 * Fax: (916) 338-2328
Real Estate Broker -- California Department of Real Estate -- License Number 01330173

Return to C-Loans Home Page | Return to Home Page

Copyright © 2004, 2005 C-Loans, Inc. All rights reserved.
Terms of Use
| Disclaimer | Awards & Affiliations | Privacy Policy
Site design by: Specialized Marketing Agency

If you wish to not receive our e-mail newsletters in the future,
please send an e-mail with "unsubscribe" in the subject line.