MORTGAGE STUFF (C-Loans Client Letter)
You are receiving this letter because you are a commercial mortgage broker client of either Blackburne & Sons or C-Loans, Inc. Removal instructions are below. Today I will teach you how to make fast commissions brokering UNSECURED commercial loans. No real estate is required! In addition - as always - we have lots of great jokes, gags and funny pictures too.
Joke Du Jour
A marine biologist developed a race of genetically engineered dolphins that could live forever - if they were fed a steady diet of seagulls. One day his supply of the birds ran out, so he had to go out and trap some more. On the way back, he spied two lions asleep on the road. Afraid to wake them, he gingerly stepped over them. He was immediately arrested for transporting gulls across sedate lions for immortal porpoises.
Lenders Can Be So Heartless!
Submit Your Commercial Mortgage App Today
Blackburne & Sons continues to seek first mortgages between $100,000 to $2.5 million on standing commercial properties nationwide. Please be sure to bookmark our commercial mortgage rate sheet right now.
To apply for a private money commercial loan from Blackburne & Sons, please find your favorite loan officer below:
Alicia Gandy: 916-338-3232
To apply to Alicia online, please click here.
Desmond Stoll: 916-338-3232
To apply to Desmond online, please click here.
Tom Blackburne: 574-210-6686
To apply to Tom online, please click here.
Edward Snowden Joke
That Edward Snowden dude got out of Hong Kong, flew to Russia, has been in the Russian airport the whole week, but still no one can find him. When Sarah Palin today heard that he may be incognito, she called for a full scale invasion of Cognito. -- Bill Maher
Fast, Easy Fees With Unsecured Commercial Loans
Unsecured commercial loans are available right now to the owners of certain types of business, even though they might not own any commercial real estate and even though their credit is flawed (down to a 500 FICO score). There is no application fee, and there are no third party report fees. Because there are no third party reports whatsoever, you will have a yes or no within just three to five days! More
Q: Why did the leper baseball pitcher retire?
A: He threw his arm out.
Place Your Commercial Loans With C-Loans.com
C-Loans.com is a commercial mortgage portal where you can enter a commercial loan in just four minutes and then submit it to hundreds of different commercial lenders with one click. And C-Loans is free!
You're Killin' Me, Smalls
By the way, that line, "You're killin' me, Smalls," comes from the wonderful, coming-of-age movie, The Sandlot.
We're Now Making Home Loans in California
For the past 33 years Blackburne & Sons has exclusively been a commercial lender. That has now changed. We are now aggressively seeking non-owner-occupied home loans in California.
Sorry, folks, we are ONLY licensed to make non-owner-occupied home loans in California. We cannot make home loans in any other state; but we will make invidual commercial loans or blanket residential loans (5+ houses) nationwide.
Got a nationwide commercial deal or a California non-owner-occupied residential deal? Please call your California Loan Officer:
Alicia Gandy at 916-338-3232
Desmond Stoll at 916-338-3232
Happiness is being stuck in an elevator and discovering the ravishing blonde with you is a liquor salesman with a case of samples. -- Johnny Carson
Classic Johnny Carson skit.
Nine-Hour Video Course on How to Broker Commercial Mortgage Loans
This is my bread-and-butter course that teaches you how to market for commercial loans, how to underwrite them (the ratios), how to place them, and how to collect your fee. Thousands of very happy commercial mortgage brokers have taken this course. Details.
Speeding Ticket Joke
It turns out the Pakistan police pulled Osama bin Laden over for speeding. Pulled him over and wrote the guy a ticket. So listen. I don't want to hear any more of this nonsense about Pakistan being lenient on Osama bin Laden, OK? -- Jimmy Fallon
Now Is the Time to Jump Into Hard Money!
Four-hour training course, How to Find Your Own Private Mortgage Investors. $499. Please click here for details.
You can buy both of my famous training courses, How to Broker Commercial Mortgage Loans and How to Find Your Own Private Mortgage Investors, for just $799. Please call Mick Carlson at 574-855-6292.
Earn Big Referral Fees. We've Made It Really Easy.
Blackburne & Sons will pay you a referral fee of 20% of our loan fee, just for providing us with the name and the phone number of a prospective commercial mortgage borrower. We once paid a referral fee of $21,250 to a guy named Alan Dunn.
Just click here to refer us a commercial loan.
Wonderful Rita Hayworth Montage
After watching this delightful montage, you'll understand why our parents loved Rita Hayworth.
Buy Commercial Leads
You can buy commercial leads from C-Loans for just $1 to $9, plus 37.5 bps. when the deal closes.
The World's Most Foolish Mortgage Broker
I would nominate the broker who does not subscribe to my blog. Folks, I have a bad ticker. I had a heart attack and a triple bypass 10 years ago, at the ripe, young age of just 50. This blog is my desperate attempt to pass on a lifetime of knowledge and experience in commercial real estate finance to my wonderful sons, George IV and Tom, before I suddenly drop dead. You can spy on this wonderful training for free.
Let me put it another way. Every single lesson in every one of my expensive training courses started out first as a free blog article. Hellooo?
So please go to my blog right now, find my ugly picture, and insert your email address in the space immediately below. You will learn soooo much. I am starting to get into some really advanced and sophisticated subjects right now.