Volume 4, Issue 8

Newsletter Date:  May 6, 2004

 


MORTGAGE STUFF  (C-Loans.com Client Letter) 

Joke Du Jour

The LAPD, The FBI, and the CIA are all trying to prove that they are the best at apprehending criminals. The President decides to give them a test. He releases a rabbit into a forest and has each of them try to catch it.

 

The CIA goes in. They place animal informants throughout the forest.  They question all plant and mineral witnesses. After three months of extensive investigations they conclude that rabbits do not exist.

 

Then the FBI goes in.  After two weeks with no leads they burn the forest, killing everything in it, including the rabbit, and they make no apologies.  The rabbit had it coming.

 

Then the LAPD goes in. They come out two hours later with a badly beaten raccoon. The raccoon is yelling: "Okay!  Okay!  I'm a rabbit!  I'm a rabbit!"

Credit Unions ROCK!

Some of the hottest commercial mortgage lenders today on C-Loans are credit unions.  Credit unions?  Yup.  And you’ll find a whole bunch of them on C-Loans.

http://www.c-loans.com/onlineapp

Old Man Joke

A white-haired old man walked into a jewelry store on a Friday, with a beautiful young lady at his side.

 

"I'm looking for a special ring for my girlfriend," he said.  Our jeweler looked through our stock and took out an outstanding ring priced at $5,000.

 

"I don't think you understand.  I want something very unique," the man said.

 

At that, our now very excited jeweler went and fetched our special stock from the safe.  "Here's one stunning ring at $40,000."

 

The girls eyes sparkled, and the man said that he would take it.  How are you paying?" asked our jeweler.

 

“I'll pay by check; but of course the bank will want to make sure that everything is in order, so I'll write a check and you can phone the bank tomorrow, and then I'll fetch the ring on Monday," replied the old man.

 

Monday morning, our very disappointed jeweler phoned the man.  "You lied, there's no money in that account."

"I know - sorry - but can you imagine what a FANTASTIC weekend I had?!"

Constant Contact

You need a nice email list of your own to remind your realtors, attorneys, and CPA’s that you’re doing mortgages.  I recommend that you get an account at Constant Contact, an email shop that rents software for a lousy $25 to $85 per month.  http://constantcontact.com/   Be sure to always include jokes so your buddies will be sure to open and read your stuff.

Telephone Joke

An exciting new discovery is about to take place.  Mr. Bell and his assistant, a man named Watson, have been hard at work on Bell's new invention to transmit sound over wires.

As Mr. Watson toiled away in the room with the receiver and eating his dinner at the same time, he suddenly hears .. ring, ring, ring.... then....

"Good evening, sir. Are you paying too much for your long distance service?"

 

 

 

 

This advertising space available for rent. Just $750 for 5 mailings to 15,000 mortgage brokers.

Write to George Blackburne at george@blackburne.com

 

We’ll use the Overture approach and give the highest box to the highest bidder.  Offer me, say, $100 for an ad box for one mailing and see what happens.

 

This advertising space available for rent.  Just $750 for 5 mailings to 15,000 mortgage brokers.

Write to George Blackburne at george@blackburne.com

 

This advertising space available for rent.  Just $750 for 5 mailings to 15,000 mortgage brokers.

Write to George Blackburne at george@blackburne.com

 

 

 

 

 

 


C-Loans.com® is sponsored by C-Loans, Inc. — For more information, contact Alicia Gandy
4811 Chippendale Drive, Suite 101, Sacramento, CA 95841 telephone: (916) 338-3232 * Fax: (916) 338-2328
Real Estate Broker -- California Department of Real Estate -- License Number 01330173

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