Volume 4, Issue 9

Newsletter Date: May 17, 2004


MORTGAGE STUFF (C-Loans.com Client Letter)

Joke Du Jour

A man goes into a pet shop and tells the owner that he wants to buy a pet that can do everything.  The shop owner suggests a faithful dog and then a cat.


The man replies, "No way!  A dog or a cat certainly can't do everything.  I want a pet that can do everything!"


The shop owner thinks for a minute, and then he says, "I've got it!  A centipede!"  The man says, "A centipede?  I can't imagine a centipede doing everything, but okay... I'll try a centipede."


He gets the centipede home and says to the centipede,

"Clean the kitchen."  Thirty minutes later, he walks into the kitchen and ...  it's immaculate!  All the dishes and silverware have been washed, dried, and put away; the counter-tops cleaned; the appliances sparkling; the floor waxed.  He's absolutely amazed.


He says to the centipede, "Go clean the living room."  Twenty minutes later, he walks into the living room.  The carpet has been vacuumed; the furniture cleaned and

dusted; the pillows on the sofa plumped; and even the plants have been watered.  The man thinks to himself, "This is the most amazing thing I've ever seen.  This really is a pet that can do everything!"


Grateful for his centipede’s hard and wonderful work, the man decides to take his new buddy down to the local bar for a beer.  “C’mon, ‘Pedey.  Let’s go to Mallory’s for a brew.”


Two, three, five … TEN minutes go by.  Finally the man shouts out, “Holy cow, ‘Pedey.  What’s taking so long?  I’m leaving.”

“Wait up!  Wait up!” shouts the centipede.  "I'm just putting on my shoes."

Hard Money Loans Now Only 1.5 Points

Blackburne & Brown, the commercial hard money lender that is the parent of C-Loans, Inc., is now making 15 year hard money loans for only 1.5 points.  Our long term loans have no prepayment penalty.  You can therefore use them as fast bridge loans too.  Call Mike Thurman at 916-338-3232.

Spelling Joke

The teacher asks the kids in spelling class to tell what their father does for a living and then spell it.  The first kid says, "My daddy's a baker.  That's b-a-k-e-r.  He makes bread and lots of sweet goodies to eat."

The second kid says, "My daddy's a banker.  That's b-a-n-k-e-r.  He makes lots of money, buys us lots of toys."

The next kid says, "My daddy's an electrician.  That's e-l-a-k...uh, e-l-e-x...uh...."

The teacher interrupts, saying, "That's okay, Raymond.  Think about it and we'll come back to you."  Turning to Little Johnny, she says, "You're next, Johnny."

Little Johnny says, "My daddy's a bookie.  That's b-o-o-k-i-e, and I'll lay you odds ten-to-one that Raymond don't ever spell electrician."

Start Your Own Joke List

Many of you already send out great jokes to your buddies.  You should add a signature line at the bottom that says:

Stevie Smith, Smithco Mortgage, 574-555-9876, ssmith@smithco.com, Your Contact for Jumbo Mortgage Loans and Commercial Loans.

Then start adding the email addresses of your high net worth clients to your joke list.  The idea is to keep your name in front of them constantly, so they will refer you to their buddies and forward your emails containing your self-serving signature line plug!!!

And please add ME to your joke list too!  J  I love all kinds of jokes.  Please send me jokes! george@blackburne.com

More Cool Stuff

You can now buy used movies, books, and DVD’s on Amazon.com for just one cent.  One cent?  Yup.  New sellers of used books and movies are always trying to get a customer rating, so they discount the price to one cent in order to make sales.  I ordered 30 books, movies, and DVD’s (all used) for less than $50 this week.  Cool, huh?

Shameless Plug for C-Loans

If you have a client who needs a commercial mortgage loan, please come back and apply through C-Loans.  Ten to 15 new banks join C-Loans every business day, so you’ll constantly meet new lenders.  Credit unions offer the best deals in the country today.


Duck Joke

Q:  Have you heard about the brown-nosed duck?

A:  Yeah, he could fly just as fast as the other ducks, but he couldn't stop as fast.





Does Your Developer Need Equity Dollars for His Large Project?

 Marshall Meyer & Strong Will Help Him Prepare For a Private Offering.

  Write to -info@VenCapFunds.com


This advertising space available for rent. Just $750 for 5 mailings to 15,000 mortgage brokers.

Write to George Blackburne at george@blackburne.com


This advertising space available for rent.  Just $750 for 5 mailings to 15,000 mortgage brokers.

Write to George Blackburne at george@blackburne.com


This advertising space available for rent.  Just $750 for 5 mailings to 15,000 mortgage brokers.

Write to George Blackburne at george@blackburne.com







C-Loans.com® is sponsored by C-Loans, Inc. — For more information, contact Alicia Gandy
4811 Chippendale Drive, Suite 101, Sacramento, CA 95841 telephone: (916) 338-3232 * Fax: (916) 338-2328
Real Estate Broker -- California Department of Real Estate -- License Number 01330173

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