C-LOANS
LENDER LETTER Joke Du Jour
Hey, I'm vertically-challenged myself, so I get to tell short jokes. :-)
This morning I was in a huge hurry and on my way to work. I was preoccupied with what my day held, and I rear-ended a car at a stop light because I was not really paying attention. I had hot coffee in my lap, and I was running late. "Great, just great," I moaned. The driver opened his door, leaned out of his car and stared at me. He was a dwarf. He got out, studied the damage on his bumper, and walked towards me as I rolled down my window. He said, "I am not happy!" To which I replied, "Well, which one of them are you then?"
C-Loans Commercial Lending Conference
C-Loans, along with Smith-Crane Finance, is sponsoring another commercial lending conference in Phoenix on November 1st. Our last conference was a HUGE success because we charge commercial mortgage brokers only $49 to attend. Our last conference had over 600 attendees!
You should exhibit at this conference because it's cheap compared to the MBA CREF Conference, the Western States Conference or any of the other commercial mortgage broker conferences.
You can have a table-top exhibit for just $950 or a booth for just $1,650!
For exhibit information please call Glenda Collins at 949-716-4666. This is a great way to meet new commercial mortgage brokers!
Waitress Joke
A waitress became violently ill while at work and was rushed by ambulance to the emergency room. In typical hospital fashion, she was placed on an examining table and then all but ignored for the next half-hour. Finally, she noticed a doctor out in the hall and yelled, "Please help me!" "Sorry," he replied, "it's not my table."
Are You Using Your Lender Vault?
It always amazes me that a bank will spend $30,000 to exhibit at a big conference but the bank is too "thrifty" to let one of its loan officers spend a lousy $2 per lead to buy absolutely perfect leads. Geesh!
When you are listed on C-Loans, you often get leads that are two weeks old and that have been picked over by all of the other lenders with higher lender scores. But when you "invest" a lousy $2 per lead (plus, of course, your normal software licensing fee), you can ask for leads that are fresh today.
C'mon, please go your Lender Vault and finally buy a couple of leads. You've got to at least try it. Our mortgage brokers, who are all much more expensive than your bank, are closing deals from these leads like crazy.
Spin the Bottle Joke
We used to play spin the bottle when I was a kid. A girl would spin the bottle and if it pointed to you when it stopped, the girl could either kiss you or give you a dime. By the time I was 14, I owned my own home.
The Best Way to Use the Lender Vault
Using the Lender Vault, it is possible to save your search criteria. Your perfect search might be for permanent loan requests of at least $3 million on the four major food groups plus hospitality located east of the Mississippi where the borrower's credit is at least satisfactory.
You might want to call your search criteria, "Standard Search" or something like that. Once your Standard Search is saved, you can conduct a search with just three quick mouse clicks.
Then - and this is the key - you should do a standard search three or four times a day. The object of the effort is to catch a perfect lead the moment it enters C-Loans. Remember, C-Loans is not a price war but rather a race. The first lender with decent rates to reach the borrower usually wins the deal.
Bill Clinton Joke
"According to a poll in Health Magazine, more Americans said they'd rather have Bill Clinton as their father than President Bush. Well sure, with Clinton, you get away with a lot more, don't you think? 'Look, I won't mention you coming home late, if you don't mention me coming home late.'" -- Jay Leno
Loan Application Volume Way Down
If C-Loans is a barometer of the general commercial loan application volume, the market is pretty slow right now. I think this credit crunch has a lot of investors nervous about taking on more debt to buy income property. Our loan app volume is off by 40%.
Attorney Joke
On Christmas Eve a burglar broke into the home of a wealthy lawyer. He grabbed all of the lawyer's Christmas presents, but the burglar left all of the presents intended for the wife and the children. A silent alarm alerted the police, and the burglar eventually confessed. He was still found not guilty! The burglar successfully argued in court that under the Constitution ... he was entitled to the presents of an attorney.
Hit Your Leads Immediately
If I were a commissioned loan officer, do you know what I would do differently from you? I would check my email every fifteen minutes, and the very instant a C-Loans lead came in, I would immediately call the borrower. C-Loans is about speed, not pricing. If a lead came in right before lunch, I would work it before going to lunch.
Airport Joke
Working as a secretary at an international airport, my sister had an office adjacent to the room where security temporarily holds suspects. One day security officers were questioning a man when they were suddenly called away on another emergency. To the horror of my sister and her colleagues, the man was left alone in the unlocked room. After a few minutes, the door opened and he began to walk out. Summoning up her courage, one of the secretaries barked, "Get back in there, and don't you come out until you're told!" The man scuttled back inside and slammed the door. When the security people returned, the women reported what had happened. Without a word, an officer walked into the room and released ... one very frightened telephone repairman. (This joke just tickles me.)
My Book Is Finished
I have finished my book, The Reverse Multiplier Effect - When Crushing Deflation Destroys America. It goes to the publisher this week. The book is the combination of an economic treatise, like Robert Shiller's book, Irrational Exuberance, and a financial action book, along of the lines of Paul Erdman's Silver Bears or the Crash of ‘79.
As bankers, you guys understand the multiplier effect; but did you ever stop to consider the fact that the multiplier effect works in reverse? Let's suppose that a bank gets nervous and stops recycling its loan payments into new loans. If the bank takes in a $1,000 payment and fails to make a new loan, the U.S. money supply contracts by $20,000 to $40,000. Yikes!
We've already picked the cover art, and it's pretty cool. The cover shows an AR-15, the civilian version of an M-16 assault rifle, sticking out of the half-open window of an SUV. In the window's reflection is the front of the New York Stock Exchange. I'll let you know when the book is available for purchase.
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