C-LOANS
LENDER LETTER Joke Du Jour
"I'm very, very jealous. Sometimes I walk down the street, I see a beautiful woman, and I think to myself, "I'll bet my boyfriend would like to sleep with her", and I get SO ANGRY. I run right home, smack him and say, 'How much more of this do you think I can take?'" -- Denise Munro
Latest Standings
Please note that Mission Oaks National Bank and Benchmark Financial are soaring in the standings. Cameron Butler and David Smyle are on a tear! Look out Integrity and TCRM. :-)
- Integrity Financial - Robert Velin - 37 closings
- TCRM - Les Agisim - 34 closings
- Mission Oaks National Bank - Cameron Butler - 25
- Benchmark Financial - David Smyle - 23
- Metwest Commercial Lenders - Rick Gnafakis - 23
- Wells Fargo Bank - Bobbi Butler - 21
- National Apartment Finance - Randall Beach/Joe Mardesich - 20
- PMB Capital - Paul Elis - 20
- Fedfirst Commercial Capital - Paul Szkotak - 18
- Commercial Direct - 17
- Community Commerce Bank - Mike Brown - 12
- Lockheed Federal Credit Union - Dan Gushe - 10
- Union Bank of CA - Robert Rice - 10
- Fairway Independent Mortgage - Candy George - 8
- Convex Capital - Peter Hayden - 9
- RC Temme - Larry Falk - 8
- Placer Sierra Bank - Cherian Arratuculum - 8
- Republic Bank - Michael Luther - 8
- First Centennial Bank - Daniel Reichel - 8
- Lehman Brothers - Anthony Christopher - 8
- American Mortgage Express Corp. - Vito - Piche - 8
- Capital Finance - Mike Sanders - 7
- Security National Capital - Michael Southard - 7
- Gourley & Gourley - Wes Ady - 7
- Comerica Bank - Jennifer Eltinge - 6
Housekeeper Joke
I am a marvelous housekeeper. Every time I leave a man I keep his house. - Zsa Zsa Gabor
Tiny Change to Terms of Use
The language in our software licensing agreement has changed slightly from "Arbitration Rules" to "Commercial Arbitration Rules".
Rogaine Joke
Q: What do you get when you mix Rogaine with Viagra? A: Hair like Don King!
The Best Way to Use the Lender Vault
Using the Lender Vault, it is possible to save your search criteria. Your perfect search might be for permanent loan requests of at least $3 million on the four major food groups plus hospitality located east of the Mississippi where the borrower's credit is at least satisfactory.
You might want to call your search criteria, "Standard Search" or something like that. Once your Standard Search is saved, you can conduct a search with just three quick mouse clicks.
Then - and this is the key - you should do a standard search three or four times a day. The object of the effort is to catch a perfect lead the moment it enters C-Loans. Remember, C-Loans is not a price war but rather a race. The first lender with decent rates to reach the borrower usually wins the deal.
Women and Cats Joke
Women and cats will do as they please. Men and dogs should just relax and get used to the idea.
"But George, My Bank Won't Let Me Buy Leads"
Every day you turn down three or four perfectly good commercial mortgage loan requests because they are too big, too small, the wrong property type or too far away. Simply ask your borrower for his email address and then type his email address into C-Loans.com/refer. If your borrower completes his loan application, we'll give you $20 in lead-purchasing credits. Geesh, it takes just five seconds to type in an email address and then hit, "Send". Please mark our Referral Page as one your favorites now.
Holiday Season Joke
In the old days, it was not called the Holiday Season; the Christians called it 'Christmas' and went to church; the Jews called it 'Hanukkah' and went to synagogue; the atheists went to parties and drank. People passing each other on the street would say 'Merry Christmas!' or 'Happy Hanukkah!' or (to the atheists) 'Look out for the wall!' -- Dave Barry
Get Ten Free C-Loans Leads
How would you like to search your Lender Vault and pick out ten perfect leads without paying a dime up-front (obviously you'll still owe your normal software licensing fee)? Simply send an email to Brandy Goble with the words, "Ten Free Leads", in the subject line. Brandy will then call you and teach you how to set up your standard search in your Lender Vault. If you are on commission, this is the best deal since the purchase of Manhattan for $27 worth of shiny trinkets.
Yelling Season Joke
At the typical Christmas dinner, Mom is always yelling, "Get out of my kitchen!" The grown kids are always yelling at their tiny offspring, "Stop running! You'll break Grandma's furniture!" Dad is always yelling, "Get out of the way! I can't see the TV set!" The little ones are yelling, "It's my toy! Let me play with it!" This is why this is known as the Holler Day Season.
Hit Your Leads Immediately
If I were a commissioned loan officer, do you know what I would do differently from you? I would check my email every fifteen minutes, and the very instant a C-Loans lead came in, I would immediately call the borrower. C-Loans is about speed, not pricing. If a lead came in right before lunch, I would work it before going to lunch.
Pregnant Joke
This lady wrote: When I was six months pregnant with my third child, my three year old came into the room when I was just getting ready to get into the shower. She said, "Mommy, you are getting fat!" I replied, "Yes, honey, remember Mommy has a baby growing in her tummy." "I know," she replied, "but what is growing in your butt?"
Please Be Nice to Our Marketing Officers
If you haven't already received a call, you will be receiving a call shortly from one of our Marketing Officers. She will spend about five minutes with you going over your profile to make sure you are receiving the exact leads that fit you. Please also take a few minutes and allow her to teach you how to set up a standard search in the Lender Vault. One of these days you are going to wake up and finally grasp that the Lender Vault is an amazing tool.
Reproduce Joke
God said, "Adam, I want you to do something for Me." Adam said, "Gladly, Lord, what do You want me to do?" God said, "Go down into that valley." Adam asked, "What's a valley?" God explained it to him. Then God said, "Cross the river." Adam asked, "What's a river?" God explained that to him, and then He said, "Go over to the hill......." Adam asked, "What is a hill?" So, God explained to Adam what a hill was. He told Adam, "On the other side of the hill you will find a cave" Adam asked, "What's a cave?" After God explained, he said, "In the cave you will find a woman." Adam said, "What's a woman?" So God explained that to him, too. Then, God said, "I want you to reproduce." Adam asked, "How do I do that?" God first said (under his breath), "Geez....." And then, just like everything else, God explained that to Adam, as well. So, Adam goes down into the valley, across the river, and over the hill, into the cave, and finds the woman. Then, in about five minutes, he was back. God, his patience wearing thin, said angrily, "What is it now?" And Adam said ...
* * YOUR GOING TO LOVE THIS !!!!!! * * * * *
"What's a headache?"
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