Joke Du Jour

While leading a tour of kindergarten students through our hospital, I overheard a conversation between one little girl and an x-ray technician. "Have you ever broken a bone?" he asked. "Yes," the girl replied. "Did it hurt?" "No." "Really? Which bone did you break?" "My sister's arm."

Change to Software Licensing Agreement

In the past three months we have caught an unacceptably large number of lenders red-handed trying to cheat C-Loans out of its fee. These lenders would pay up if we caught them, but they were regularly and intentionally closing deals without notifying us. Kind of a sad commentary on the declining morality of his country, huh?

In order to discourage this practice, there has been a slight change to our Software Licensing Agreement. If a lender is caught closing a deal without paying C-Loans, that lender will have to reimburse C-Loans for the cost of maintaining a staff of tracking clerks to track down the closing. More precisely, if a lender fails to notify C-Loans of a closing within five days of the loan closing, the lender is responsible for paying an additional 25 basis point tracking fee. On a $5 million deal, that's an additional $12,500 - so be sure to maintain meticulous records.

The issue is not when C-Loans actually gets paid. Our cash flow is fine, and we realize that that it often takes a while to get the accounts payable department of a large organization to cut a check. What we are talking about here is clamping down on some garden variety snakes who intentionally wait to see if they get caught. Since you always honorably pay your C-Loans licensing fees, this should not affect you.

Wounded Elephant Joke

While on holiday in Kenya and walking through the bush, a man comes across an elephant standing with one leg raised in the air. The elephant seems distressed, so the man approaches very carefully. He gets down on one knee and inspects the bottom of the elephant's foot, only to find a large thorn deeply embedded. As carefully and as gently as he can, he removes the thorn, and the elephant gingerly puts its foot down. The elephant turns to face the man and with a rather stern look on its face, stares at him. For a good ten minutes the man stands frozen - thinking of nothing else but being trampled. Eventually the elephant turns and walks away. For years after, the man often remembers and ponders the events of that day. Years later the man is walking through the zoo with his son. As they approach the elephant enclosure, one of the elephants turns and walks over to where they are standing at the rail. It stares at him and the man can't help wondering if this is the same elephant. The man climbs tentatively over the railing and makes his way into the enclosure. He walks right up to the elephant and stares back in wonder. Suddenly the elephant wraps its trunk around one of the man's legs and swings him wildly back and forth along the railing, instantly killing him. Probably not the same elephant then.

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