C-LOANS
LENDER LETTER Joke Du Jour
A woman announces to her friend that she is getting married for the fourth time. "How wonderful! But I hope you don't mind me asking what happened to your first husband?" "He ate poisonous mushrooms and died." "Oh, how tragic! What about your second husband?" "He ate poisonous mushrooms too and died." "Oh, how terrible! I'm almost afraid to ask you about your third husband." "He died of a broken neck." "A broken neck?" "He wouldn't eat the mushrooms."
Welcome to the Party!
A few days ago a commercial loan officer for one of the ten largest U.S. banks wrote to us, "I have to admit I was ignoring my C-Loans leads. But then one of your borrowers called me directly. It was a $4 million deal, and it looks like we are going to do it. Since then I have been working your leads, and hey, they're pretty good."
Welcome to the party! C-Loans lenders closed 221 different commercial loans last year. Another division of this loan officer's bank has already closed 25 loans for us. It's time for everyone to become a believer. C-Loans works!
If you call your C-Loans leads within an hour (email doesn't work), you will make a fortune in commissions. If you have the wisdom to realize that C-Loans is one of your important clients, C-Loans can virtually guarantee that your career as a commissioned commercial loan agent will be a huge success. So be loyal to C-Loans and to your own career. Please call our loan app's within an hour.
Missing Husband Joke
A wife went to the police station with her next-door neighbor to report that her husband was missing. The policeman asked for a description. She said, "He's 35 years old, 6 foot 4, has dark eyes, dark wavy hair, an athletic build, weighs 185 pounds, is soft-spoken, and is good to the children." The next-door neighbor protested, "Your husband is 5 foot 4, chubby, bald, has a big mouth, and is mean to your children." The wife replied, "Yes, but who wants HIM back?"
Construction Loan Bonanza
As you know, C-Loans recently hired a construction loan executive (Tom Smith, our new VP of Construction Lending) to help our construction lenders pre-qualify their construction loan leads. Oh, my goodness! What treasures Tom is finding among our C-Loans app's! I'll bet we have $400 million in terrific construction loans and bridge loans in process with various C-Loans lenders.
Although the information on our construction loan app's is admittedly sketchy, we are finding that the underlying loans, once we get into them, are often terrific!
I am having visions that C-Loans will someday pass the nice folks at Holliday Fenoglio Fowler as the number one originator of commercial loans in the country.
But we have a problem. Poor Tom Smith is getting buried. He can't keep up with the volume.
If you are a construction lender, you may want to work the loan app's directly. Here's why: Three or four different construction lenders may each push the "I'm interested. Please Prequalify." button on the same deal. You might not end up being the bank to get the fully-documented package.
There is also is genuine risk that our over-worked Tom Smith may never get to your deal. Poor Tom is already working 70 hours per week. To handle the volume, Tom is mainly concentrating on the deals over $10 million.
So if you see an interesting construction loan app from C-Loans, especially if it is a smaller deal, don't take a chance of losing the deal. Please call the borrower or broker directly. You should only use Tom Smith to pre-qualify your deal as a last resort. The exciting news, however, is that C-Loans is finding that a great many of these construction loan app's are terrific.
Hunting Flies Joke
A woman walked into the kitchen to find her husband stalking around with a fly swatter. "What are you doing?" she asked. "Hunting flies," he responded. "Oh. Killing any?" she asked. "Yep, 3 males, 2 females," he replied. Intrigued, she asked, "How can you tell?" He responded, "Three were on a beer can, 2 were on the phone."
Deserving C-Loans Staff Finally Gets Their Party!
I flew back to California three weeks ago to finally take our over-worked and under-appreciated staff out for that big party I promised them. You will recall that I promised them a big party if our C-Loans lenders managed to close over $200 million in commercial loans in 2005. We ended up closing 221 different commercial loans totaling over $206 million.
So we hired a stretch Hummer limousine, and 18 of us climbed in, drank (inexpensive but fun) champagne, and drove to the local Indian gaming casino, Thunder Valley Casino. Every employee was handed $50 to give to the casino. Sure enough, within an hour everyone had made their obligatory contribution to Big Chief One-Armed Bandit or Black Bart, the blackjack dealer. Our young people, however, had the time of their lives. So thanks, wonderful guys and lovely ladies, for the terrific year you gave us on C-Loans.
Mr. Potato Head Joke
Q: Why is Mr. Potato Head the perfect man? A: He's tan, he's cute, and if he looks at another woman, you can rearrange his face.
Please Don't Forget to Notify C-Loans
Every time you close a loan for C-Loans, you will receive 10 lifetime lender bonus points that will follow you from bank to bank. Generally your loan volume will double for every 10 points you add to your lender score.
But if you forget to tell C-Loans about a closing (even if you had every intention of paying us), and we hear about it first from the borrower or broker, you will NOT get your lender bonus points.
Over the next 15 years many of you will change banks three or four times. It is important to your career to rack up as many lifetime lender bonus points as possible so you can start your new job at your new bank at the top of the Suggested Lender List. Remember, every time you close a loan your loan volume will approximately double. Don't lose an opportunity to double your loan app volume because you forgot to notify Alicia Gandy of a pending closing. Why not notify her right now about your deals that are ready to close?
Pole Vaulter Joke
At the Olympics a man went up to a competitor who was carrying a very long pole. "Are you a pole vaulter?" "No, I'm German, but how did you know my name is Walter?"
Easy Way to Double Your Loan Volume
If you complete and submit your Lender Tracking Table, you will enjoy 10 temporary lender bonus points for 30 days. A lender score of 110 will vault you right over the thirty lenders with a lender score of just 100. Nice segue, huh? Pole vaulter joke - vaulting over other lenders. Get it? You did? Wasn't funny? Okay, I'll keep my day job. :-)
Stubborn Old Cat Joke
A couple was going out for the evening. They'd gotten ready, all dolled up, put out the cat, etc. The taxi arrives, and as the couple walks out, the cat shoots back in the house. They don't want the cat shut in the house, so the wife goes out to the taxi, while the husband goes upstairs to chase the cat out. The wife, not wanting it known that the house will be empty, explains to the taxi driver, "He's just going upstairs to say goodbye to my mother." A few minutes later the husband gets into the cab, "Sorry I took so long," he says. "The stupid old thing was hiding under the bed, and I had to poke her with a coat hanger to get her to come out!"
C-Loans Borrower May Call You
It is very important that you open any emails with the subject line, "C-Loans Borrower May Call You". You need to make the connection between the name of this borrower or broker and C-Loans. If you neglect to do this, you may find your bank owing a huge fee to C-Loans that you did not plan on, and your boss will be very unhappy. You should also ask around the office to make sure that no one else took the call and failed to build in C-Loans' fee.
Hopefully this whole issue is moot because you are religiously calling your leads within an hour. Guys, we know you get busy ... but if anyone has to wait for your call, let it be the rookie mortgage broker with a one-off deal who is probably shopping the deal to twenty other lenders. Be loyal to your own career by working your C-Loans app's within an hour.
Doctor Joke
An old man goes to see the doctor and gets some tests. When the results come in, the doctor calls the old man in and says, “You'd better sit down. It's pretty bad.” The old man naturally gets all nervous and asks, “What is it, Doc? Don't hold back - just give it to me straight.” “Well,” says the doctor, “You have cancer, and you have Alzheimer's.” The man replies, “Wow. Well, at least I don't have cancer.”
Another Reason to Work Your C-Loans App's
Someday you may leave banking altogether and open a shop as a commercial mortgage broker. If you have closed five loans for C-Loans while working at a bank, there is an excellent chance we may allow you to join C-Loans as a mortgage company, with the same privilege to receive "free" loan app's as a bank. This assumes, of course, that you have never allowed a deal to close without being the first to notify us.
C-Loans is one of your most important clients. You will personally enjoy great rewards if you call our loan app's within an hour and never-ever allow a C-Loans deal to close without paying us.
|
