C-LOANS
LENDER LETTER Joke Du Jour
A man was driving down a country road when he saw the oncoming car accidentally hit a cute, little hare, who had foolishly darted into the road. The man stopped to check on the bunny, and sadly the bunny looked dead. The driver who hit the hare stepped out of his car and sprayed the hare with something. All of a sudden the little hare jumped up, waved, hopped a little ways down the road, waved again, hopped to the edge of the forest, turned around, waved again, and then hopped safely away. The man was amazed. "What did you spray him with??!" The driver replied, "It's a hair rejuvenator with a permanent wave."
Fabulous New Feature for Construction Lenders
The new prequalification EasyReply link is now officially up and operating. Here is a description of the new link again:
Suppose you are a construction lender with an average loan size of $12 million. You receive a C-Loans lead describing a $15 million condo construction deal in Phoenix. Hmmmm. This could be interesting. But when you look at the lead, it is clear that the broker is a complete rookie. You can't tell if the developer has the the right experience or has any skin in the game. Normally you would just pass on the deal.
Now you can just click on our new EasyReply link that reads, I'm interested. Please Prequalify. When you click on this link, our new Vice President of Construction Loans will call the rookie mortgage broker and the developer and interview them. How much of his own dough does the developer have in the deal? How many similar projects has the developer successfully completed? If our construction loan specialist likes what he hears, he'll set up a conference call for you with the developer and the broker. Then he'll get out of your way and let you take the handoff.
So please take a hard look at our construction loan applications again. Help has arrived.
Cute One for Your Kids
Q: What do you call a cow spying on another cow?
A: A steak out.
More Good New for Big Construction Lenders
C-Loans has enjoyed great success driving permanent loan requests to its online commercial mortgage portal using postcards. Each postcard contains a cute, clean joke. We send the postcards in groups of six, one every few days. Pretty soon our jokes are being passed around the office, and in the process the site C-Loans.com is imprinted into the memories of our mortgage broker customers.
We are about to start a similar campaign targeted at large developers. It will take us about 90 days to get geared up, but soon you will be receiving some phenomenal construction loan deals directly from developers.
Restaurant Joke
A couple is having dinner in a restaurant when their waitress, standing a few tables away, watches as the guy slides all the way down his chair and out of sight. The woman across from him seems to not notice. The waitress comes over and says, "Excuse me, ma'am, but I think your husband just slid under the table." The woman says, "No, he didn't. My husband just walked in the door."
Do You Need More Loan Applications?
Don't go out and spend a fortune on magazine advertising. Instead, just go your Lender Vault and buy some perfect leads.
Mother-in-Law Joke
Today my wife sent me to pick up my mother-in-law at the airport. She's getting a little up there in age. In fact, she's at the age where she doesn't remember whether she's coming or going. So when I saw her I said, "Thanks for coming. Have a nice flight!"
Please Make Sure You Always Check the Email That Reads, "C-Loans Borrower May Call You"
We had a lender close a deal for us the other day, and because he never bothered to open our email that reads "C-Loans Borrower May Call You, he didn't make the connection to C-Loans. He didn't bump his fee a little to cover the cost of paying C-Loans. When the borrower later reported the loan as closed, he was frustrated to learn that he still owed C-Loans its fee. So please be sure to always open that email that says, "C-Loans Borrower May Call You".
Crow Joke
Q: Do you know why crows are never hit while eating road kill?
A: Because their friends are on the power lines yelling ... CAAAAAR,CAAAAAAR.
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