C-LOANS
LENDER LETTER Bird Flu Joke
A bear, a lion and a chicken are talking. "When I roar," said the bear, "the forest rumbles." The lion sniffed. "When *I* roar, the jungle trembles", he said. "Oh," said the chicken. The lion and bear looked at her, thinking about dinner. The chicken smiled a small, knowing smile, and said, "When I cough, the whole world pees in their pants."
"Free" Access to Lender Vault is Now Closed
Our programmers have finally finished our billing software, so effective immediately all leads now purchased using your Lender Vault are no longer "free". You are reminded, of course, that you will still owe your normal software licensing fee of 37.5 to 50 basis points on any leads you obtained through the Lender Vault during the "free" period, if the loan closes.
Now don't get confused. There are still no up-front fees to receive loan applications from C-Loans, if the borrower or broker applies to you directly. The old system is still in place.
Insecticide Joke
I went to a store to buy some insecticide. "Is this good for beetles?" I asked the clerk. "No," he replied. "It'll kill 'em."
Exciting New Feature for Construction Lenders
Suppose you are a construction lender with an average loan size of $12 million. You receive a C-Loans lead describing a $15 million condo construction deal in Phoenix. Hmmmm. This could be interesting. But when you look at the lead, it is clear that the broker is a complete rookie. You can't tell if the developer has the the right experience or has any skin in the game. Normally you would just pass on the deal.
Within a month a new EasyReply link will appear on your C-Loans app, I'm interested. Please Prequalify. When you click on this link our Vice President of Construction Loans will call the rookie mortgage broker and the developer and interview them. How many similar projects has the developer successfully completed? How much of his own dough does the developer have in the deal? If our construction loan specialist likes what he hears, he'll set up a conference call for you with the developer and the broker. Then he'll get out of your way and let you take the handoff.
We hope to have this feature up shortly, so get excited!
Cute One for Your Kids
Q: What time do ducks wake up in the morning?
A: At the quack of dawn.
Now I Have to Pay for Access to My Lender Vault? Yuck!
After enjoying "free" access to your Lender Vault for several months, it may be difficult to to get used to the idea of actually paying a fee for any new leads obtained through your Lender Vault. But remember, these leads are dirt cheap. A brand new commercial first mortgage lead of less than $1 million is only $9 up-front, plus of course your normal software licensing fee. Nine lousy dollars!
C-Loans is not so much trying to make a lot of money selling leads. Our goal is primarily this: When a lender shells out cold, hard cash for a lead, he will actually pick up the phone and CALL it. The hardest thing about building C-Loans was convincing our lenders of the importance of calling the leads within one hour. The loan applications themselves have always been good.
Many of you have expensive display ads in national real estate or mortgage magazines. Others of you sponsor $10,000+ booths at conventions. When you compare the number of leads actually generated by these marketing efforts to the nine-dollar cost of a perfect lead from C-Loans, you will realize that our leads are an incredible bargian.
More on the Bird Flu
In an attempt to thwart the spread of the bird flu, George W. Bush has bombed the Canary Islands.
Rumors of Our Death "Slightly Exaggerated"
February was a disappointing month for C-Loans in terms of closings, but in March our closings have come roaring back. Thanks, guys. The C-Loans freight train is really rolling again!
Dummy George Needs Some "Learning"
Suppose a condo project will take two and a half years to sell out, after the condo's are completed. Assume further that the developer is covering 20% of the costs. How does a construction lender determine its maximum loan-to-value ratio? Do you discount the future retail sales back to present value? What discount rate do you use to compute the discounted presented value of the future sales? To what loan-to-value of this discounted present value would a reasonable lender lend, assuming a healthy market? Will any project on earth pencil out if a lender is limited to 80% LTV based on the discounted present value? This question has been plaguing me for weeks. Please help me, George Blackburne, before my little brain explodes.
Dentist Joke
No sooner had I plopped myself in the chair for my checkup when the dentist smirked, "Ready for your cavity search?"
You Might Enjoy Our Blog
Three times a week we add to our commercial mortgage financing blog, Commercial Real Estate Loan Tips. Most of you know a lot more than I do, but you may pick up some helpful tips.
Snack Bar Joke
"So I go to the snack bar. I don't think it should be legal to call anything that costs $18.50 a snack. 'Those Twizzlers look good, do you have financial aid?'" -- David Spade .
Do You Lend Internationally?
If so, please write to me, George Blackburne, and I'll arrange to send you international deals larger than $2 million.
I Belly-Laughed
A woman got on a bus holding a baby. The bus driver looked at the child and blurted out, "That`s the ugliest baby I've ever seen!" Infuriated, the woman slammed her fare into the fare box and took an aisle seat near the rear of the bus. The man seated next to her sensed that she was agitated and asked her what was wrong. "The bus driver insulted me," she fumed. The man sympathized and said, "Why, he shouldn't say things to insult passengers. He could be fired for that." "You're right," she said. "I think I'll go back up there and give him a piece of my mind!" "That's a good idea," the man said. "Here, let me hold your monkey."
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