C-LOANS
LENDER LETTER Joke
Du Jour
I am not a believer in seances, but I went to one just to see what they are like. The psychic was doing his thing and grinning from ear to ear. I assumed his merriment was due to the fact that he was fooling a gullible public, so I gave him a poke in the nose. You can probably guess the rest. I was arrested for striking a happy medium!
C-Loans Closes Its First International Loan!
We are thrilled to report that KSI Capital is the first C-Loans lender to close an international loan for C-Loans.
KSI Capital closed a $3 million bridge loan for us on an absolutely gorgeous resort project in Mexico. This place is so swank that it enjoys its own jet landing field. The jet-set can reach the project in just 45 minutes from Los Angeles. The project was sponsored by some incredibly wealthy former American sports stars. They apparently had some very serious skin in the game.
Rich and Famous
"I think everybody should get rich and famous and do every- thing they ever dreamed of so they can see that it's not the answer." -- Jim Carrey
Window to Lender Vault to Close Soon
The billing software is largely completed, and it is in beta testing right now. In less than a week our much-beloved C-Loans lenders will no longer be able to simply go into their Lender Vault and search for perfect leads. Instead they will have to pay a tiny fee of $1 to $30 per perfect lead.
Now don't get confused. The old system remains the same. If the borrower applies to you directly, you will still receive these loan applications with no required up-front fee.
And for right now the new Lender Vault is still "free" too, but please remember you will still owe your standard software licensing fee if you close a deal.
If you have not yet test-driven the new technology, your lender score is being adjusted downwards. This means far fewer free leads. Therefore it is essential that you at least visit your Lender Vault once and see what all the fuss is about.
Simply click here to access your Lender Vault.
Corn Flakes Joke
Q: What do you call a person who puts poison in his victim’s corn flakes?
A: A cereal killer.
Loan Volume is Still Slowing
Commercial mortgage loan demand, at least from what we can see from C-Loans, continues to fall. In fact, it feels like we have suddenly hit a brick wall. February has been our slowest month in three years. How is your loan volume? Please write to me, George Blackburne, and tell me if your loan volume has slowed as well. And if you have some applications in your email box, treasure them. They are not nearly as easy to find.
Wedding Joke
At a wedding I recently attended, the priest called for a moment of silence to remember the faithful dead... As the church grew quiet, a little boy sitting in front of me turned to his father and said excitedly, "Dad, you have some of their albums!"
Busted a Lender and We're Sad
A loyal and honest mortgage broker reported back to us today that a loan officer working for one of our most successful lenders tried to convince him to circumvent C-Loans in the future. This lender had closed 27 loans for C-Loans. Sadly we had to remove the lender permanently from C-Loans today.
Right now you already enjoy a nice handful of leads every day. C-Loans is steadily getting even better at delivering perfect leads to our lenders, and we have some incredible new features scheduled for this year. A few extra dollars is not worth a lifetime ban. Eventually everyone gets caught. A lot of the brokers out there are our trainees, and they tell us stuff. So please be meticulously honest in your accounting.
That being said, your bank just moved up one place on the Suggested Lender List. Hooray!
Pavarotti Joke
I went to see Pavarotti once and I'll tell you this much, he doesn't like it when you join in.
Do You Lend Internationally?
If so, please write to me, George Blackburne, and I'll arrange to send you international deals larger than $2 million.
I Belly-Laughed
Once there was a little boy who lived in the country. They had to use an outhouse, and the little boy hated it because it was hot in the summer, cold in the winter and stank all the time. The outhouse was sitting on the bank of a creek and the boy determined that one day he would push that outhouse into the creek. One day after a spring rain, the creek was swollen, so the little boy decided today was the day to push the outhouse into the creek. He got a large stick and started pushing. Finally, the outhouse toppled into the creek and floated away. That night his dad told him they were going to the woodshed after supper. Knowing that meant a spanking, the little boy asked why. The dad replied, "Someone pushed the outhouse into the creek today. It was you, wasn't it,son?" The boy answered, "Yes". Then he thought a moment and said, "Dad, I read in school today that George Washington chopped down a cherry tree and didn't get into trouble because he told the truth." The dad replied, "Well, son, George Washington's father wasn't in that cherry tree."
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