C-LOANS
LENDER LETTER Super Important!!
You may not be getting all of your applications from C-Loans. Because of a brand, new upgrade that went into effect just two days ago, we are now using a different IP address. Would you please forward this email to your web guru and ask him to please make sure that any emails from C-Loans get past your company email filters to you?
New IP address is 216.87.93.49
Old IP address: 216.87.93.50
Would you please make sure that both c-loans.com and blackburne.com are also on your white list. Thanks!
Joke
Du Jour
John received a free ticket to the Super Bowl. Unfortunately John's seat was in the last row in the corner of the stadium. He was closer to the Goodyear Blimp than the stadium. He noticed an empty seat 10 rows up from the 50-yard line, so he decided to make his way to the empty seat.
As he sat down, he asked the man next to him if anyone was sitting there. The man told him no, it was empty. John was very excited to have a seat like this at a Super Bowl and asked, "Why in the world is no one using this wonderful seat?"
"It was my wife's seat," the man replied, "But she passed away. This is the first Super Bowl that we have not attended together since we were married in 1968."
"Wow, that is really sad," said John. "But couldn't you find someone, maybe a relative or a close friend, to take the seat?" "No," replied the man, "They're all at the funeral!"
Hallelujah. We Made It!
Thank you sooo much, guys and lovely ladies. In 2005, C-Loans ended up closing 221 different commercial mortgage loans totaling $206 million. Wow. What a thrill!
And what a testament to the honesty of our lenders! On 221 different occasions C-Loans lenders demonstrated honesty and integrity by remembering to pay us. Thanks, folks. We salute you.
Star Joke
King Ozymndias of Assyria was running low on cash after years of war with the Hittites. His last great possession was the Star of the Euphrates, the most valuable diamond in the ancient world. Desperate, he went to Crosus, the pawnbroker, to get a loan. Crosus said, "I'll give you 100,000 dinars for it." "But I paid a million dinars for it," the King protested. "Don't you know who I am? I am the king!" Crosus replied, "When you wish to pawn a Star, makes no difference who you are."
Big Upgrade Installed. Expect Bugs.
C-Loans is excited to report that the huge new upgrade to our software that we call Rates2005 finally went on line over the holidays. With any new upgrade, there will unfortunately be some bugs. Please accept our apologies. If you find any bugs, would you please report them to Alicia Gandy at gandy@blackburne.com?
So what's the big deal with Rates2005? For one thing, we will now be able to change your lender profile in real time. If you have stopped making constructions loans, we will be able to turn a switch and cut off your flow of construction loans immediately. If the boss comes in and says, "You know, hospitality is hot right now. Let's book some hotel loans." Alicia will be able to immediately turn on your spigot for hotel deals. You might even receive your first hotel deal within the hour.
This new system is already in place. Why not beam Alicia an email right now with some refinements to your profile?
Soon you will also be able to buy leads. "Buy leads, George? Why on earth would I want to buy leads when I can just receive them from C-Loans for free?"
Suppose the boss comes in and says, "We absolutely must book an extra $30 million in commercial loans next quarter. We are also over-weighted in retail, so the board wants more office deals and multi-family loans." You will be able to say, "No problemo, Boss. I'll just go onto C-Loans right now and download every recent office and multi-family loan request in Northern Colorado that is greater than $750,000 and less than $10 million."
You should be able to buy leads within two weeks. The new software is actually already in place, but we need to get some accounting procedures worked out. This is all very, very exciting. This big software upgrade took a team of four programmers almost a full year to develop. It's pretty slick.
Humpty Dumpty Joke
Why did Humpty Dumpty have a great fall? To make up for a terrible summer.
Rest Assured We Are Working on the Bugs
As I write this, emails are flying back and forth among our programmers and Alicia. Everyone is working hard to identify the bugs and fix them. Things will be chaotic for a few days, but you will soon see that this new upgrade is awesome. Thanks again for your patience.
Navy SEAL Joke
Some people are extremely impressed when you tell them you're a Navy SEAL. Case in point: My grandson's pre-K class on Career Day. I regaled them with stories of my exploits in the military. After I finished, hands shot up into the air all over the classroom. The kids were eager to ask questions. "So," asked one little girl, "Can you balance a ball on the end of your nose?"
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